Friday, November 30, 2007

MUD on your TV

Hello MUD fans:

Watch for us on episode 209 of AMERICAN SHOPPER tomorrow at 10 am EST. Well, actually, it will be one of our mugs--not our faces. I'm still holding out for that Pottery Talk Show, though.

We know you love that Fine Living channel!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Things to Be THANKFUL For

Happy Thanksgiving Day everyone! In no particular order, some of the things I am thankful for this holiday include:

1. The fact that they made a MOVIE from the book THE SECRET. Because if I had to READ it instead of watch it, I might have thought something like; 'this is uber boring metaphysical crap" and then BOOM I would have Created My Own Reality and the book would have sucked. Since it was a movie, I was able to get the gist of it, PLUS I had a short nap. Life Is Good. I am Practicing Gratitude. Bring on the Abundance, baby.

2. My son made it through his third surgery in three months and while it looked a bit iffy there for awhile: NO ONE VOMITED. We also discovered that the quickest way to get discharged from post op is to have a six year old throw a big Hissy Fit and claim he is DYING IN AGONY. Poof! Here is your paperwork and wheelchair, good bye. Apparently it is upsetting to the 15 other people in the recovery room..go figure.

3. We are off to Thanksgiving at my Brother In Law's house tomorrow. Or maybe not. Annie has a fever and a cough that just won't quit. I am Thankful for Zicam which promises to reduce the duration of a cold, and I am using The Secret to ensure that it works. I have the Vicks vaporizer going, I filled her with Tylenol cough and cold even though she is four and now you are not suppossed to do that, and I covered her chest in eucalyptus cream. WHERE DID I PUT THOSE DAMN LEECHES?

4. Elastic waist bands.

5. Brownie Mix. Because if we are able to go to Thanksgiving Dinner tomorrow, I will be lucky if I have any of these moist chocolate squares to arrive with. Perhaps we can stop at the deli and throw together a twinkie platter.

6. Elastic waist bands. Worth mentioning again.

7. A Customer by the name of Christine who wrote: "I must say it is truly an honor to hear from you. I admire your work and talents so much. This is like talking to a major celebrity! How amazing!" NO I AM NOT KIDDING SHE REALLY WROTE THAT. Bringing blog readership to an all time high of FIVE READERS.

8. Did you catch where she wrote "major celebrity?"

9. The fact that I have some friends who were given a wii system as a present, but they are totally AGAINST video games..they believe video games are THE DEVIL. So that when we hit Target a few days ago after Jesse made it known this was his biggest Christmas wish, and found out that they are sold out EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD, I did not panic. I traded a gift certificate with my friends for the wii--they will most likely purchase sporting equipment for their kids, some books, science kits....it's pretty clear that we came out On Top. So now the box is sitting in my office, speaking in tongues and flicking that forked tail. I'm hoping to lose 25 lbs by next month playing wii tennis.

10. My Family & Friends. I am so blessed in so many ways. I love you all, and I'm not just saying that because I'm drunk.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Looming Clouds on the Horizon

This week has been eventful. On Monday, we found out that Jesse has to have ANOTHER SURGERY on his elbow. The fact that he could not turn his arm over should have been a bit of a giveaway, but I kept thinking: MAYBE THAT WILL JUST GO AWAY. It's the same kind of magical- but irrational- thinking that has compelled me keep my skinny jeans for years.

Jesse handled this news much better than I did. Initial conversations with the orthopedist, somewhat paraphrased:

ME: But he CAN'T have another surgery.
DR: Just what is it that you are so worried about Mrs. Veasey?
ME: This is his THIRD surgery in three months.
DR: I understand that, but what is it that you are worried about...specifically?
ME: His THIRD. That is Lifetime Movie kind of excessive amount of surgery.
(pause)
ME: And really, what if we just don't do it? What would be so bad about that?
DR: Ummmm...I don't know... HOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO MOVE HIS ARM?

I can't really explain how much I dread the operation on Monday. Here are some of my fears large and small:

1. He will ask for water the morning of the operation and I will have to say NO. And since I have a hard time saying that word to things like "Can I play with the sharp knives" and "Can we stay up til 11 pm watching SpongeBob and eating gummy bears in your bed" I dread telling my baby that if he is thirsty he will need to suck it up.

2. We will wait for hours before the surgery in a curtained room with a single chair, surrounded by other people waiting for surgery who do not close the back of their gowns when they traipse through the place. Seriously: you will never see as many naked butts as in pre-op.

3. The moment before I put the suit on to accompany Jesse to the operating room when I think O My Gawd this is NOT going to fit over my butt and all these people are watching me put it on.

4. The moment when they place the mask over his tiny face and his eyes flutter closed and it reminds me of what he looked like the very first time they placed him in my arms and why is it is so easy to be overwhelmed by the amount of love you feel for your child WHEN THEY ARE ASLEEP?

5. The WAIT.

6. The Recovery. Jesse's first words after the last surgery were: WHY DID YOU LET ME BREAK MY ARM MOMMY. And if I had not been fighting so hard to hold back tears, I might have told him it was his Dad's fault anyway. This year I'm packing a big red arrow and a sign that says "MOMMY is the one who always says NO to running, climbing, race car driving and risk taking of any sort."

7. The vomiting. Where, by the way, Kip is incredibly redeemed, appreciated, and loved, and I take back all of paragraph six.

8. The pain. And the way I channel Shirley McClane and think IF THAT NURSE DOESN'T GET OVER HERE WITH THAT MORPHINE IN THE NEXT MINUTE I AM GOING TO KICK HER ASS.

9. The vomiting and the pain. The hope that Power Rangers Dino Thunder will distract.

10. The recovery. No swimming, no running, no jumping, no rough housing...just the way I said I liked it. And yet, when he is lying all pale faced on the couch, I would give anything if he could be out running in sunshine.

We are blessed to have such great family and friends. And we are grateful when we can find the humor in a situation like this, knowing that there are many families who everyday deal with situations that are not as easily fixed as a broken elbow. All Will Be Well.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Pretty Bird Woman

If I were a bird I most surely would be a duck. It's the waddle, and the fact that my feet are so wide. I mean REALLY WIDE. When I take my shoes off most people assume I've slipped into some comfortable swim fins.

I just recently acknowledged the fact that I can't fit into shoes made for normal people. I purchased some very expensive, but properly fitting footwear and for the first time MY FEET DON'T HURT ALL DAY and By Gawd, tell the Whos in Whoville that Christmas is coming early!

I gathered up all the toe pinchers in my closet and found a great organization to send them to: www.soles4souls.com And it tickles me pink to know that my gently worn patent leather ballet flats are going to make this world a better place. So if you have some shoes laying around that you are wondering what to do with--send them to these guys.

And speaking of birds, I was also sent a link to a sobering story about a woman's shelter on the Standing Rock Reservation that is in need of help. Pretty Bird Woman House was named after a woman who was the victim of domestic violence. The story of this organization's struggle is very compelling--and if everyone sends just a few dollars it will make a big impact:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/11/9/1544/57273. Thanks in advance to those of you who will take the time to read this story and to help.

Had I been born Native American, I am sure my name would have been Big Butt Duck Feet.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Finally! A Halloween Picture!




I have been trying to figure out how to get a picture from my iphone onto blogger for two days now. Apple needed to make the idiot version for me: the iiphone.

Ayhow: here are the kids in costume for Halloween. Annie started the day as a Pink Power Ranger. In a class of 12 little girls, she was the only one not dressed as a Princess. At lunch "Ariel" told her that she could not sit with the girls because of her costume. I would like to say that my daughter stood her ground, called upon the feminist ideology I have been crooning to her since birth, and went all Pink Power Ranger on "Ariel's" ass. Sadly, that was not to be--here is Annie as Snow White... who as you know cleans a mean house.

Jesse made approximately 15 costume changes this year, down from 27 from last year. His final choice--made conveniently at 7 PM the night before Halloween, was to be this werewolf--which I sewed myself. Thank Goodness I live in New York City. I don't know what suburban moms do when they need a yard of fake fur at that hour of the night.

And now begins the torture of lying in bed and knowing there is an Almond Joy in a plastic pumpkin in my kitchen.

Thursday, November 01, 2007