Wednesday, October 27, 2010

C iS FoR.....

C is for COSTUME. Here's a post from Halloween in year's past....

Sexyhusbandomine and I met in March a GAZILLION years ago. That year, for Halloween, here was his costume:

And let me just say girls, that I had my pie with sausage that night.

The next year, we were still a relatively new couple--so we did the "cute couple" costume

Followed by MORE cute couple costumes

Until we got married, at which point cute couples costumes ceased to revolve around sexual innuendo and became indicators of our domestic bliss:

Then we got pregnant and our respective costumes were


And when I got pregnant again, we went as this

ELEVEN YEARS of marriage later...
And my pizza delivery boy with the six pack abs is going as this:

O the times, they are a changin.......

Monday, October 25, 2010

BLoGGiNG THe ALPHaBeT: THe LeTTeR B is for...

Working Mother's Guilt is a Beyotch. Particularly if you are like me, and LOVE your job: because then it can start to feel selfish to work. Over the years, because I enjoy what I do so much, I started to equate "work" time with "me" time and as a result, all those things that a woman is supposed to do for general maintenance fell by the wayside. I had myself thoroughly convinced, for example, that I didn't need to see the inside of a hair salon for a year at a time because my few strands of gray were working for me as natural highlights (they glittered in the bathroom lights anyway.) There was Work/Me Time and there was Home/Kids/Husband time and that was enough to fill 26 hours a day. And so I put off shoe shopping for years, never had my pores properly cleaned, and the only excercize I did regularly was stretching the truth or jumping to conclusions.

A series of excuses, a long list of things to do that lay stagnant on my desk, a packed schedule: that is how I let 2.5 years go by without a mammogram.

Boobalicious Scarf by Couturecrotchetbykt

I would not call myself a stupid woman, but ignoring the fact that every October the world turns pink in addition to black and orange is a dumb thing. So this year I finally got off my butt and scheduled the appointment and went to get my girls squished flatter than a pancake in the x-ray machine.

Celebrate the Boobies Necklace by Meganbauerie

The biggest change in the 2.5 years since I had last been was that instead of announcing the "all clear" at the end of the photo shoot, the diagnostic center has you fill in your own self addressed stamped envelope, so that they can mail you your results. I was tempted to give myself a nickname like Tatas McBoobish, but I went with my own name and a smiley face in the corner.

And when a week later, that same envelope arrived at my work, the smiley face fairly winked at me as I tore it open, humming "Thanks for the Mammories" and fully expecting to see an ALL CLEAR.

Boob Jar Set by mongo54

So I was shocked when I read that I required further testing because something had been detected. Forget about jumping from point A to point B--when you get a letter like that you jump right to Point C. And I thought about a lot of things including:

- My young children.
- My husband.
- My short life.
- My Victoria's Secret Uber Bra.
- How very much it would suck to find out you had a small lump that had grown to the size of an orange because you didn't take an hour to go get checked.
- How very much it would suck to find out you had cancer from a self addressed stamped envelope with a smiley face on it.

Sterling Silver Cufflinks By Clevergirl

Anyway Chickens, many women have had this happen and the majority of them find out that nothing is wrong, as I did. A quick sonogram and a final "all clear" and all is well. But important lessons are learned.

Boob Slippers by Kellyznaughtycrotchet

Taking care of our health is something that we do not just for ourselves, but for the people who love and need us. So if you have been like me, and not had your gums cleaned lately, or your pelvic plumbing tested, or had a man gaze into your baby blues looking for signs of glaucoma: MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TODAY.

Oh, and click HERE to give a free mammogram to someone today!

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Happy Thursday Chickens! I have decided that in order to get out of my current blogging rut, that I shall blog the letters of the alphabet. So hang on to your hats for the next 26 posts!! (I know many of you will just be holding your breath, waiting to see what I will do for the Letter X. Hi Nonnee.)

Today's post is brought to you by the letter A.

A is for....ARTIST. Did you know I have a twin brother who is a famous artist? His name is Jeffrey Decoster and his illustrations can be found in places like The New York Times and Rolling Stone. He has won many prestigious Illustration awards, and when he does he comes and stays at our apartment where he sleeps all day and parties all night.

What was it like growing up with a twin? Well, for certain it was not so fun when we had to have a combined birthday party, and a neighborhood kid brought a G.I. Joe doll that we were supposed to "share." (Anothony Marciano, I'm talking to you here. Even if we are friends on facebook, this memory still smarts.)

People wonder if my brother and I are alike. He lives in California, I live in New York. He is single and I am married. He is skinny, I am...well, let's just say we aren't two peas in a pod and leave it at that.

Anyway, A is for Artist, so meet my twin brother Jeffrey. I really could not come up with another word for the letter A......

Please leave a suggestion below for the letter B.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Random Thoughts while being chained to the keyboard:

* The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase 'Regards' again.

* There is a great need for sarcasm font.

* Was learning cursive really necessary?

* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

* Bad decisions make good blog stories.

* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me f I want to save any changes to my ten page document that I swear I did not make any changes to.

* Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

* It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

* I have downloaded my CD collection onto my Itunes account. Many of my CDs were scratched. I may be the only person I know who has an Ipod with songs that skip.

* I don't really understand Facebook. Like: if you want to tell me something, why not just email me personally? Why do you need to write it ON THE WALL? Then again: if you are someone I am cyber stalking and your profile is public, I do enjoy looking through your pictures to see if you've gotten fat.

* There should be a support group for people who use too many exclaimation points in their emails!!!!!!!!

* I think calling a program that is hard for me to figure out "Excell" was just another way for those Geeks in software to undermine my confidence.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

EXCuSe Of THe WeeK

Happy Tuesday Chickens. I have been thinking that maybe I will just make this whole blog be about all the reasons that I cannot blog, why blogging is a pain in the butt, and why I have nothing to blog about BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET. Seriously. Don't you have housework you could be doing?

I kid. Sorta.

But the reason why I have not been writing lately is that I am organizing a fantastic event in New York City scheduled to happen this weekend...CRAFTS IN CHELSEA. Over 130 local artisans and craftspeople will gather on 21 st street between 8-9 avenues on Saturday, October 16 to sell their handmade pottery, glass, jewelry, housewares, clothing, children's items, fine art, photography and other delights. Booth fees benefit arts programming in PS 11. The event is co sponsored by Etsy, the largest online retailer of handmade goods.

And let me tell you chickens, those crafters seem all mellow in their birkenstock sandles and patchuli cologne, but you should see what happens to them when they are not pleased with their booth assignment. Seriously: who knew you could threaten someone with a crotchet hook?

In conjunction with this event, a very awesome GIVEAWAY is being offered HERE. Look at some of the goodies you can win just by leaving a comment! And I know how much you like to hear yourself type you like to support local events, so head on over to the NewNew blog and enter today!

The lucky winner of the giveway will get:

Clockwise from left to right 1. Copper Bangles from Nemesis Jewelry, 2. Reversible Flannel and Polar Fleece Cloche from Ellis Design, 3. Silver Earrings from Irene C. Studio, 4. Crystal Flower Earrings from Haru Creations, 5. Pillowcase Tunic from BShorr Handmade Designs, 6. Pink Cupcake Amigurumi Bear from Amigurumi Kingdom, 7. The Janice Headband from MollyMade, 8. Silver and Suede Tag Bracelet from Charms of Faith, 9. Amigurumi Keychain with Trinket Box from AmiTown Creatures, 10. Magnet and Bookmark Set from LuCrafts, 11. Set of Pinup Coasters from Cards in Stitches, 12. I-Phone Case from D.S. Lookin, 13. Copper Lace Earrings from SdVDesigns.

Hurry on over there and enter!!!
For those of you who are local, who I do not have a restraining order against, I hope you will stop by and see me at the event on Saturday!

Tuesday, October 05, 2010


Well Chickens, to date I have lost TWENTY POUNDS. Twenty whole pounds! Why, that's the same weight as a car tire, or a really big turkey, or a small kareoke machine!

Needless to say, I have been looking a little...ummmm "urban" as of late...what with the pants falling down around the hips and all. So I set off to buy some smaller clothing and discovered a great online shop called Shabby Apple.

One of the first things that attracted me was this:

If they had only included the words FAT BUTTS I would have sent them my first born. You know-the one who helped make the butt fat. Anyhoo, answer three questions (one that asks where the chocolate cake is most likely to go) and find out your body type. It was actually no surprise to find out I was

Fine, fine. I am a cucumber stuck in a pear's body. Here are some dresses Shabby Apple suggested for my figure type:

I love that one-and this one too:

But I ended up getting this:

Which I absolutely love! Soft and comfortable! A dress that looks as good out at the wine bar with friends as it does cleaning up the cat box or doing another menial chore around the house. Basic. Dependable. Comfortable. But the reason I want to tell you chickens about Shabby Apple is because they do something amazing.

When you purchase an item from Shabby Apple, you help to change the lives of women around the world. Shabby Apple shares a percentage of its profits with Unitus, an organization working to bring life-changing micro loans to the world's working poor.

How. Awesome. Is. That!?! My dress arrived with a beautiful tag that described the woman who my purchase had helped, her family, and what her business was (goat milk and mangos). For me, knowing that my purchase did something good made me feel even GOODER!! Then I put my dress on, swirled around and went off to clean the cat box save the world... Feeling like a cucumber.