Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Adios Bean, Farewell


Sadly, we bid farewell to the lovely Allison Bean from our Wholesale Department this week. Now many of you think that in the massive organization that MUD has become, that it's not possible for me to know details about the wonderful people who spend their days working for us. Not true I say. I've come to know and love Allison over the past six years that she's worked for us as, um, you know, the thingy she does. With like, the files, and the phones and stuff. And I've had the pleasure of meeting her handsome husband Bryon and her dog, Mr. Chow. So you see, having her co-workers contribute to this send off? Totally unecessary. Nevertheless, some did have some parting words for the girl behind the purple desk.

Chris Jump-in-the-Phone-Boothe wrote: "Allison, by far, had one of the most daunting jobs at ONIM-that of keeping, on record; all orders, credits, cancellations, and correspondancies between the ONIM staff and customers. Allison maintained the back up. Pretty stressful-but Allison always met whatever demands were put on her with a smile and a laugh. The ONIM offices will seem a little bit quieter without her texas twang and here's hoping she visits often." What Chris meant to write: "You've been like Starsky to my Hutch. That thing that happenned at the Xmas party 2003? Never told a soul, honest."

Jill Call-me-Boterus wrote: "I will simply say that Allsion has been delightful. A breezy, smiley, I'll do it, kind of girl. I am sorry to see her go." What Jill meant to write: " I will simply say Allison has been DELIGHTFUL!!!!!!!!!!! BREEZY!!!!!!!!!! SMILEY!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SORRY to see her go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Natasha Reilly-o-Really, who is paid to write, made a whole 50 cents off of this missive: " I'm really going to miss Allison- the moment you step off the elevator she greets you with a warm smile. Whenever we'd email about catalog orders or press break stuff, she'd always share some cool random story. Yeh, I'm going to miss her smile and her random stories." What Natasha meant to write: " The one time she told me the story about how she got the wooden leg, it made me throw up in my mouth a little. I was more comfortable discussing Greys, or Desperate Housewives, or even Sopranos, but no. Always something a little off color from this chick's motor mouth."

From the desk of Alyssa Staltworth, " I honestly don't know how you managed not to hate the AR department, in those months we had over 1000 statements to mail out. Folding, stuffing, sealing, metering, lugging and papercuts. You should really hate me. You and tequila have my respects. I am a tequila girl. You know tequila. That makes you good people." What Alyssa meant to write: "Holy crap what a boring sounding job. If I had to do that every day, I'd drink tequila too and a lot of it."

John Zazulu wrote: "You are a sweet texas treat that can't be beat" making us ALL throw up in our mouths a little.

Yolanda Brite wrote "Allison, you will be missed very much. We had a great time crossing the bridge and having yummy Junior's cheesecake woohoo!' Then Uma Sank added "I can't believe that you are leaving us already! I drink a toast to the best gambling/drinking/overall wonderful buddy ever!!!" Then TOGETHER they wrote "We are very excited to visit you in Texas; we are planning our road trip as we speak!" What they meant to write: "thank God we still have each other. We are incapable of going to the Ladies Room by ourselves."

Maya Applepiya wrote: "Though I've only had so little time to get to know Allsion, I think she should represent her State Flower. She has touched me with her open heart, abundant kindness, and that unique accent. Wherever life will take you after Mud, may that road always be MUDDY (a.k.a. exciting and colorful). Maya gets points for sucking up to us with her tribute to Allison, BTW.

Carolyn Youphraseyeeow put away the compact and wrote " If Allison were a song she would be a Shimmerplanet hit!! We can do a cowgirl song for our lovely Texan! She will be missed but she will be back!!!" Carolyn then went on to include these song lyrics:
"Oooooooowoooooooooo Allison,
I know this job is killing you, oh oh Allison,
our aim is true.........."

Bexter Dingleberry phoned in this toast: "It's been great having Allison around, even when she randomly starts speaking Spanish or when waiters love her the most. I wish she wasn't leaving (who else will want to buy cookies from the dollar store?) But I'm also excited to visit her in Texas and listen to Dolly Parton." What the Bexter meant to say: "We'll pour us some tequila, put on the soundtrack to 9-5, or maybe just play "Here you Come Again" and "Islands in the Stream" over and over again. Then let's rent Rhinestone and it'll be just perfect-clap clap jump jump kelly clark impression clap"

Other office mates missed this blog's deadline but wanted Allison to know that they would treasure the xerox of her nether regions forever. (Xmas 2002)

Oh-and then there is Candace All-the-way who wrotein response to these suggested questions: "On average, how many bad hair days does this girl have?" She has pretty good hair…long nice…can be curly or straight. She went through a phase of putting baby powder instead of washing it…bad idea. She needed some bumble and bumble product if she was going to go down that route.

"How could she have come from the same state that gave us W?" When people ask…you’re from Texas, you didn’t vote for Bush did you? She responds…I’m a social worker! Of course not! Ally Cat is a Texan through and through. She loves the great state but loves to venture out too (thank goodness, if not we wouldn’t gotten her for 10 months).

"If Allison were a song would she be best performed by Shimmerplanet or Bully?" Which ever one would play the country music…oh all the country music. Smiley face icon.



Allison was the “scan-derella” of ONIM but didn’t complain about the monotony of the job. She can drink tequila with the best of them and make friends with everyone at the bar…as we found out from XMAS PARTY ’05. I am glad that the temporary job developed into a semi full time gig.

Beaner is one of my bestest friends in the entire world. I have known her FOREVER and she is still the same sweet southern girl that would help anyone that needed it. But I have to say, she has developed a bit of a “NYC edge” (well…as much as she could). She frequently asks if she still has her accent or if it has gotten less distinct…I have to tell the truth about that one and say…it has changed a little. Yet another smiiley face icon. She is a country music loving…wide open spaces needing…horse owning traveler…who no one in our itty bitty hometown of Sherman Texas would have bet on actually moving to and staying as long as she did in NYC. I am super proud of her. I am just glad she didn’t fall and break something while she was here…she has done crutches before while she visited…NO FUN. Should have been a frowny face icon, but wasn't. I think she has had a good time but the Lone Star State is calling her back. I am going to miss her terribly and my Libby Ann is going to miss her Aunt Allison just as much. I am just glad I got to live with my best friend and be a part of her experience." What Candace also meant to write" We loooooooove yooooooooooose, yer my bestestttttt friendddddddd, pass the tequila and get me a waiterrrrrrrrrrr"

9 comments:

mcser said...

Of course I was one of those who missed the deadline to say a farewell to Allison. I will miss her a lot. Allison, come and visit as soon, and you know that now you have unleashed a fury of NY-ers on your home town, as we will come and occupy your neighborhood!
Bake a cake!! ( you know what I'm talking about:) Keep in touch!

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