Tuesday, April 25, 2006

v-a-c-a-t-i-o-n


Shells collected so far: 82
Number of times Jesse has rubbed sand into Annie's hair and told her he was giving her an "ocean shampoo": 3
Number of times I have snuck away with Annie to nap curled around her while the breeze blows softly through the curtains: 1
Number of hours Jesse has spent in the pool today: 5
Number of times Annie has thrown up in the pool today: 1
Number of times I have said "I think I will go in the pool" today: 3
Number of times I have actually gone in the pool today: 0
Number of books I have read so far: 1 really really good one
Number of cocktails had by other adults in this house: 32, mostly mojitos and cosmopolitains
Number of times I have checked my Emails: 3
Number of days left in Paradise: 8

Monday, April 24, 2006

I have a spray on tan

I'm writing this from the beautiful Isle of Palms in South Carolina, where I have gone with family to enjoy a ten day vacation. Of course, getting ready to take a vacation is exhausting in itself; endless trips to CVS, trying to find creative ways to keep the children busy on the airplane, painting toenails pretty pink, etc. I have overpacked as usual, and Kip has brought the brown sneakers that he schleps on every single trip and swears he will wear, but never does.

Before I left, I invited the staff to submit guest blogs. Only Uma came through with a single picture of a penguin. (Thanks Uma.) That was gonna be it,but by chance I was lucky enough to come across the following list of guest bloggers and their topics:

Jill's Blog: "Hiring the perfect assistant--it's easy, fun, and I like to do it a lot"
Carolyn's Blog: " The art of multitasking while holding a compact"
John N's Blog: "Why a nice white boy like me wishes he were raised in Compton"
Natasha's Blog: "Smiles, rainbows, and belly laughs"
Megan's Blog "I found a mistake on a purchase order at 10:15 pm at home, and now my bosses think I am the bomb!"
Alyssa's Blog: "Shut up. My thesis is done. I don't have to write crap."
Uma's Blog: "Why I love penguins."
Alyson's blog: "Why can't Lorrie ever spell my name correctly?"
Yolanda's Blog: "Te quero penguins."
Chris's Blog: "Why I feel like a penguin sometimes"
Candice's blog: "Like I have time to write blogs."
Monika's blog: "Blogging is better in Hungarian."
Becky's Blog "I am staying at my bosses house and have looked in the medicine cabinet"
Dan's Blog: "Why can't certain people learn how to make their own urls?"
Denitza and Scott's Blog: "What do you mean MORE parade mugs? I thought we were done!"
John Z's blog: "I came for a part time job, and I never left."

Blog on, people. It could have been just like Joan taking over for Carson, but noooooooooooooooooooooo. So I will submit periodic vacation updates as my spray on tan fades ever so slowly (except the really dark spots around my knees.)

Friday, April 21, 2006

What's In Your IPOD?


Ten favorite songs in my IPOD:

Vertigo U2
Trouble Cat Stevens
The Rising Bruce Springsteen
The Obvious Child Paul Simon
The Fire Inside Bob Seger
Tender is the Night Jackson Browne
Satellite Dave Mathews Band
Paper in Fire John Mellencamp
Into the Mystic Van Morrison
I Drove all Night Cindy Lauper

Ten favorite songs in John Nelsen's IPOD
(Hey, if he didn't want everybody to know, he should have brought his own charger to work)
Billie Jean Michael Jackson
Thug n U Thug n Me 2Pac
What Up Gangsta 50 Cent
Toxic (two versions by the way) Britney Spears
Bitch Please 2 Dr. Dre
Big Pimpin Jay-Z
Gold Digger Kanye west
Straight Outa Compton N.W.A.
Got Your Money Old Dirty Bastard
Pass it Pass it Snoop Dogg

Ten favorite songs in Kip's IPOD
Thunder Road- Bruce Springsteen
Tenth Avenue Freeze Out Bruce Springsteen
Jungleland Bruce Springsteen
Born in the USA Bruce Springsteen
Born to Run Bruce Springsteen
Blood Brothers Bruce Springsteen
Kitty's Back Bruce Springsteen
Blinded by the Light Bruce Springsteen
Wiggle your little Footsies- The Wiggles

All I can say is: true dat.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Some Bunny Loves You!


Be Hoppy.

THINGS TO DO THIS WEEKEND


Dan has a show:
BuLLy

Saturday, APRIL 15th
ARLENE'S GROCERY
95 STANTON STREET (between Ludlow & Orchard)
12 midnight (or whenever we feel like it)
$10 (they raised the cover...sorry!)

(Read the archived blog post on Dan to find out more)

Christopher Booth has shows coming up: check out www.cityhallcomedy.com

Alyssa's thesis is due Monday. She will be doing a lot of pen chewing and sniffing white out.

Natasha will be continuing to recover from the flu. She will be doing a lot of laying around on the couch watching movies on Lifetime and making her husband fetch her things.

Carolyn is going somewhere for two weeks I think, but she hasn't told me where. My guess is she's singing in Bangkok again. She'll be packing her compact.

Zazo is going to start bellydancing classes. He is giving up he pole dancing after injury to his back.

Monika is going to swim with dolphins.

Uma will be changing the cat box. Possibly more than once. And maybe visiting the kittens for an hour or so at PetCo.

Allyson will be out late, partying with Paris and Lindsay.

Candace will be singing the soundtrack to Cabaret at the local piano bar. She will then take requests for selections from Jesus Christ Superstar and Oklahoma.

Yolanda will be throwing out the first ball at the big game Saturday.

Megan will still be on hold with Verizon because JN had a question about the bill.

Becky will be playing the part of the Easter Bunny at a local re-enactment of "Here comes Patricia Cottentail."

Scott will be buying the latest CDs from American Idol contestants.

Denitza will be painting for her exhibition, the entire proceeds of which will go to paying off her latest vet bill.

Judith, Linda, Armando and Jose will still be working on Parade Mugs.

Everyone at Grand Central will be working, working, working.

We will be off to Wilmington Delaware for Easter with the Veasey clan. We will paint eggs, jump on the neighbor's trampoline, and have a huge egg hunt after Church on Sunday. There will be pears cut in half with carrot ears and a little tail of cottage cheese as side dishes at Easter Dinner. There will be a lot of singing of the Hallelujah chorus.

Happy Easter everyone!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

A Political Message From my BIL Andy Veasey

It's nice to get a forwarded Email that doesn't threaten dire consequences if not passed on to others. Andy sent thsi today and I found it very enlightening. It only takes a few moments to read, but is an issue that effects us all.

SOCIAL SECURITY

WHY WAIT UNTIL 2008? THERE IS AN ELECTION IN 2006. I HEREWITH FIRMLY STATE THAT I WILL NOT VOTE FOR ANY POLITICIAN, REGARDLESS OF THE OTHER ISSUES, IF HE DOES NOT SPONSOR AND SUPPORT THE FOLLOWING LEGISLATION. THAT INCLUDES EVERYONE STANDING FOR ELECTION IN 2006.

LET US SHOW OUR LEADERS IN WASHINGTON "PEOPLE POWER" AND THE POWER OF THE INTERNET. LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE WITH ME ON THIS BY FORWARDING TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU ARE REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT!


KEEP IT GOING!!!!
2008 Election Issue!!

GET A BILL STARTED TO PLACE ALL POLITICIANS ON SOC. SEC.

SOCIAL SECURITY:

(This is worth reading. It is short and to the point.)

Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions during election years.

Our Senators and Congress women do not pay into Social Security and, of course, they do not collect from it.

You see, Social Security benefits were not suitable for persons of their rare elevation in society.They felt they should have a special plan for themselves. So, many years ago they voted in their own benefit plan.

In more recent years, no congress person has felt the need to change it. After all, it is a great plan.

For all practical purposes their plan works like this:

When they retire, they continue to draw the same pay until they die.

Except it may increase from time to time for cost of living adjustments..

For example, Senator Byrd and Congressman White and their wives may expect to draw $7,800,000.00 (that's Seven Million, Eight-Hundred Thousand Dollars), with their wives drawing $275,000.00 during the last years of their lives.

This is calculated on an average life span for each of those two Dignitaries.


Younger Dignitaries who retire at an early age, will receive much more during the rest of their lives.

Their cost for this excellent plan is $0.00. NADA....ZILCH....

This little perk they voted for themselves is free to them.You and I pick up the tab for this plan. The funds for this fine retirement plan come directly from the General Funds;

"OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK"!

>From our own Social Security Plan, which you and I pay (or have paid) into,-every payday until we retire (which amount is matched by our employer)-we can expect to get an average of $1,000 per month after retirement.

Or, in other words, we would have to collect our average of $1,000 monthly benefits for 68 years and one (1) month to equal Senator! Bill Bradley's benefits!




Social Security could be very good if only one small change were made.

That change would be to:


Jerk the Golden Fleece Retirement Plan from under the Senators and Congressmen. Put them into the Social Security plan with the rest of us


then sit back.....


and see how fast they would fix it..

If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of awareness will be planted and maybe good changes will evolve.



How many people CAN you send this to?


Better yet.....


How many people WILL you send this to

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

ALYSSA'S THESIS IS DUE MONDAY


The lovely Alyssa Stalsberg, our AR and CM, will soon be receiving her Masters in the ever popular field of Literary Criticism; provided she completes her thesis by THIS MONDAY. Always cool and competent, we have no doubt that she will pass this final test with flying colors, but just in case, we offer our help here. Alyssa, go have a cocktail, your work has been done for you. Here now, excerpts from the thesis we have written in purple magic marker, Xeroxed, and put into a fancy folder from Staples:

"Let us contrast and compare the literary virtues of the classics Goodnight Moon and Everyone Poops. (*author's note; I cannot figure out how to underline in Blogger. Deal with it.) Certainly, neither of these respected works are crappy, although arguably that theme comes to play in Everyone Poops. The allegorical use of the bunny in both works references the fluffiness rampant in today's society...."

"One can compare the language used on a ticket issued for public intoxication and the nutritional label on a Hershey Chocolate Bar. Or maybe not. Frankly, I found my ticket for public intoxication to be wholey UNREADABLE. I mean-literally. Like the words were jumping up and down and spinning....."

"We can certainly draw parallels between William Shakespeare's Hamlet and the latest episode of Wife Swap. Both works have wives. And husbands. What would have happened if the King's Wife had to go spend a week in Wisconsin with a granola eating, berkenstock wearing liberal? It could have all played out so differently..."

We see honors in your future. Of course, that could be in the form of a hastily rendered certificate of MUD for Employee of the Month, but an award is an award baby.

Everything Alyssa does, she does well. Everyone at MUD knows that your thesis will be no different. You surely do not need it, but we wish you much luck. And hey, let us know if you want us to finish the cover of with glitter pen or not.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

JILL GETS MARRIED!



For those of you who have been watching the dates change on every DIY wedding product in the line; it finally happened! Our fabulous National Sales Manager married an equally fabulous guy, Don Boterus, this Sunday. It was a BEAUTIFUL wedding-and now I shall attempt to post pictures which will prove it.

Friday, April 07, 2006

The Final Chapter in the Phil Saga


Just received a postcard from Jersey City, where Phil. Stella and Cat have holed up briefly on their journey back to NYC.

Seems that, while traveling through Utah, the gang was exposed to some persuasive ideology and have collectively decided to go Mormon.

Big Love to you all.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Trouble In Paradise


Update on Phil and Stella: seems that in their honeymoon mode, they decided to do the nasty on top of the letter H in the Hollywood Hills. Much is overlooked in tinsel town, but it happened to be 3:00 in the afternoon and a family of four from Wisconsin happened to be sightseeing at the time. They say the five year old will be traumatized for some time to come. Phil and Stella were arrested and thrown in the slammer. Broke, and unable to make bail, they called their friend Cat back in New York, who beat tracks with all her legs to help her friends out. The three continue their adventures....

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

update from Phil and Stella


Just got a postcard from the happy couple. Seems they've traveled to California. Stella has a dream of making it big in movies, and Phil wants to support her. Phil writes that he had the name "Stella Monkey" tatooed on his left buttock. He's gotten a job as a host at a vegetarian place in the neighborhood, while Stella goes on auditions. They seem very happy.