Random Thoughts: The Naked Brothers Band

For those of you not lucky enough to have a five year old in the house who demands the television be kept on Nick Jr, THE NAKED BROTHERS BAND is a show about a rock band fronted by 9 year old Nat Wolfe. His six year old brother Alex is the drummer and looks like one of the guys in a Van Halen video from the 80s. There are other kids who round out the band; one is fat, one is a minority, and one has glasses. Oh and there is A GIRL- Rosalinda--who is the 13 year old Bratz look-alike who plays bass and is Nat's love interest. They've set the show up to reflect a kind of Sam Malone-Diane Chambers sexual chemistry between Nat and Rosalinda which is disturbing on many levels. Shame on Nat's father-who plays--you guessed it--the goofy father--- for executive producing a show that should celebrate his son's amazing musical and vocal talents but instead tries to exploit his 9 year old hotness. Because if I were between the ages of 7 and 13 I would be writing Mrs. Nat Wolfe on my notebook right this second. 6 year old Alex was asked in an interview what he liked best about being in the band. His answer: "The chicks."

Jesse is obsessed with this show. He chooses his clothing based on weather he feels Nat would wear it; meaning he has been wearing a camouflage shirt with camouflage pants lately (much to Kip's embarrassment, who worries other parents will consider our child pro-Bush, pro-military spawn. So he loudly proclaims when we are in public "I DID NOT DRESS MY CHILD TODAY! I HAD NO SAY IN WHAT MY CHILD IS WEARING!) Alex "rocks the tattoos" and so Jesse used sharpie marker to draw a six inch rocket on the inside of his right forearm. We expect it will wear off by the time he is old enough to sneak into a real tattoo parlor and get Tweety Bird on his shoulder.

Jesse has decided he wants to be in his own rock band (for the chicks, of course.) He has begun lobbying heavily for an electric guitar, a drum set, and keeps trying to make his dad and I agree to become roadies. He is convinced if we would just get him the instruments he needs and if we could make his little sister get the heck out of his room, he could be famous.

As any good mother would do, I put my dream crushing combat boots on and tried to discuss the reality of fronting a rock band. "Becoming famous is hard. Look at Dan" I told Jesse: "He's been in a band for many, many years but he is still working for MUD and allowing me to find fault with his facial hair on a daily basis. Rocket Scientists get a lot of chicks. And you won't have to change the tattoo."

THE NAKED BROTHERS BAND is on Teen Nick Saturday nights. You can download the single "Crazy Car" on itunes right now.