Thursday, July 19, 2007

Where Have All the Bloggers Gone?

Well, as evidenced by the fact that there has not been an update since July 10, that whole "Guest Blogger" thing worked out REALLY WELL. Remind me not to ask you people to feed my plants or water my cat next time we go out of town, I mean, Sheesh.

So here's a quick update of NEW EVENTS on Veasey Street.

ANNIE GAVE UP HER CHOOPA. (Choopa: noun, small plastic sucking device inserted by parents into squalling newborn's mouth and often not removed for four or five years. Also known as Binky, Paci, and that thing in her mouth that makes it impossible to understand what she is saying, and will cause her to need braces when she is twelve--thereby ruining her first kiss at thirteen-- when either a rubber band will fly out of her mouth as the deal is being closed, or she will lock front teeth with the boy who also had a CHOOPA for the first four years of his life.)

And all it took was some DISNEY PRINCESS COSTUMES. Behold the Power of Ariel! Bow down before the Influence of Tinkerbelle! Who knew that offering a bribe of a blue satin dress with white elbow gloves could be so LIFE CHANGING. And before one of the three of you loyal readers points out that the "Princess" way of thinking may not be the healthiest image for young girls today, let me just say that we always make it a big point to tell Annie that Princesses are really very much like the CEO's of companies...like MOMMY. And then we just stand back and let her Order Everyone Around while Stomping her Glass Slippered Foot and Talking About How Much She Hates Math.

The Princess Costume Collection truly rocked Annie's world, but it was nothing compared to an impulse purchase I also made before I left Target. And that would be.....A NIGHTGOWN. Because as Annie said: IT IS A DRESS YOU CAN SLEEP IN? REALLY? A DRESS FOR NIGHT? A PINK DRESS FOR IN MY BED? CAN I WEAR IT FOR THE NEXT SEVENTY TWO HOURS? I LOVE IT I LOVE IT DO YOU LOVE IT? HEY MR. UPS GUY-DID YOU NOTICE MY NEW NIGHTGOWN? LET'S CALL NONNEE BECAUSE SHE WILL WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT THESE NIGHTGOWN THINGS BECAUSE SHE MAY NOT KNOW THAT SOMEONE INVENTED A DRESS FOR BED!!!

Which later lead to what will now forever be referred to as: The Great Underwear Under The Nightgown Debates of '07.

Initially, we went commando. Because we love to give her the opportunity to discard as many articles of clothing onto the bedroom floor for someone else to pick up as possible. And because, well, being Lazy Mom, I figured if we always took them off each night we would never find ourselves in trouble during those times where we don't bathe for weeks.

But apparently the BEST WAY to show your BRAND NEW NIGHTGOWN to the man who brings hamburgers for dinner, the super of the building, the son of your nanny, and the odd workmen that come through the place daily is to LIFT IT UP OVER YOUR HEAD AND SHAKE YOUR TUSH. This move was popularized by Kate Moss at some point in the 80's, but Annie is just a natural.

After Much Discussion (and feel free to join in the debate right here--in the comments section) it was decided that what was needed was NEW UNDERWEAR. With Ariel on it. And Belle. And Cinderella..................

6 comments:

Kip said...

It is actually spelled CHUPA and it is a real Spanish word loosely translated as SUCKER, and that is the reason that I'm glad she gave it up. nevermind the braces.

Lorrie Veasey said...

Well Thank You Senor Spelling Policeman.

You're just a little freaked at the idea of her getting kissed at age thirteen, aren't ya, come on.

Because I know it wasn't JUST ME who the other day was looking at our whiny crying daughter and the gaping hole of her mouth that we haven't seen for the past "Free and free qwarters" years and thinking-WHAT NOW while missing those CHUPAS. But then it occurred to me that at some point we can substitute chocolate and she will be just fine.

Kip said...

i'm actually more concerned about her flashing the Chinese food delivery man, so thanks for the princess skivvys.

Lorrie Veasey said...

yes, but now we have to tip.

Peedles said...

Damn! I didnt realize that there was a MUG involved...
btw...rumour has it Im up NYC way soon...lock the wine cabinet...

ShE Knows said...

Lorrie, I absolutely love your blog. I've had one of my own and just recently decided to delete it. I've got to make myself totally anonymous so no one will identify me, although I think I'm the only person venting about the same crap. Your little one with the special gowns sounds adorable.
Hang in there with your work and travels. I'm rejuvenated by the rewards I receive when I work outside of home. I couldn't possibly stay at home. I think my kids learning my hubby's bad habits is about all they should be subjected to. So when I arrive, I'm the clean-up girl and the comforter.