THINGS TO DO TO KEEP YOUR BROKEN WINGED BIRD OCCUPIED WHILE HE IS STUCK IN A CAGE
1. Take your spare change to the bank down the block. It's a very short walk, and if you are lucky, they will be giving away lollipops and free pens. You will have killed 38 minutes of a realllllllllllly lonnnnnnnng day, and turned your silver and copper into crisp green bills.
2. Teach him to play the video games you and your husband took an oath in blood you would never allow into the house in the first place.
3. High School Musical 1.
4. Call every friend and frenemy you and your child have ever known, and beg for playdates. Use the words "desperate" and "bouncing off the walls" at least twice in your request.
5. High School Musical 2.
6. Decide to look in the folder sitting on your desk marked "Summer Homework." Have a mild panic attack. Wonder if he gets extra credit for mastering the video games, as they are sure to improve his fine motor.
7. Take a trip to Whole Foods (also down the block) to look at dead fish in the seafood display and see how many eyeballs you can poke out before store manager asks you to leave.
8. High School Musical: Behind The Scenes.
9. Build the Empire State Building out of a cardboard box and a broken Swiffer Mop. You will have a great piece of art for your living room and managed to kill 23 minutes of a realllllllly lonnnnnnnng day.
10. COUNT THE SECONDS UNTIL SCHOOL STARTS.