Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Random Thoughts for a Wednesday

Many of you have asked how I balance a demanding position with a Ginormous company and mothering two small children. One of the ways I do it is by making REALLY SMART CHOICES; like becoming President of the PTA. Because if you just keep piling the stress on, at some point it Holds You Together. I'm sure a good pair of Spanx would do the same thing, but I like to think I am a solid bundle of contracted nerves...with the occasional jiggle.

This morning I had a PTA meeting which means I spend about 40 minutes trying everything on in my closet in an effort to find THE MAGICAL OUTFIT THAT WILL MAKE ME APPEAR LIKE I AM NOT FAT. I keep thinking I have found it everytime I visit Talbots-but in the harsh light of the morning before speaking in front of a group of people, it appears that: NO I HAVE NOT.

I don't blog about the PTA because 1) many of my secret readers are members (Hi Susan! Hi Robin!) and also because 2) if I told you what Really went on, I would have to kill you. So while the story of the bi-polar mom who HECKLED ME LIKE I WAS DOING STANDUP AT CAROLINES would have made a really great blog.....I must move on.

Annie has named all of her stuffed animals. Which is cute, but problematic when she says things to me like: "Where is Kapooch? Please bring me Kapooch." And when I hold up the stuffed penguin and she says "KAPOOCH DAMN YOU MOTHER I SAID KAPOOCH, KAPOOOOOOOOOCH, KAPOOOOOOOOOCH" the only thing I can do is frantically paw through hundreds of beanie babies wondering if Kapooch could be the pink poodle or the silver terrier or the "chi-wow-wa." It gets even harder when she asks me to bring her BOB.

Annie has also taken to watching Boomerang in Spanish for half and hour before bed. Boomerang is a cartoon network that plays retro toons; Flintstones, Jetsons, Tom & Jerry, Scooby Doo. The problem is that she asks me to sit beside her and WATCH WITH ME MOMMY which would be hard enough in English, but when you are listening to Yogi Bear hablo with his amigos, it is almost unbearable. Maybe I am just not smarter than the average bear. I knew I should not have taken French. It's not even helpful when Pepe Le Peu is on BECAUSE SHE IS WATCHING IT IN SPANISH.

Pawing through the stuffed dogs, finding Yogi unbearable: I guess blondes really do have more puns.


Jen said...

I absolutely love reading your funny, and not just because I am a mom of a little boy that names his stuffed animals names like Goso, Luca, and Keisha Coles (don't ask) and because he also will ask me to watch Backyardagans with him (and while watching it I feel like I may stab myself in the eye with a steak knife, I actually like the show but too many repeats) but because they are so funny and real. Hey I was thinking since you have so much fee time (joke), have you ever thought about peening a book?

Seriously, it would be a best-seller for sure. Do I sound crazy when I say I always feel a little happier after I read your blog entry for the day? It reminds me to not take myself so seriously and not to take life so seriously.

Jen said...

Opps, I must say I had a few typos in my last blog reply. No spell check kills me....OK so when i wrote peening, I meant penning. and when I wrote fee I meant Free. Sorry everyone.

Tash said...

Lorrie - although I REALLY wanted to hear about the bi-polar heckler, I settled for just reading your post and you know are awesome. This honesty is amazing. I love it because while my little one is younger, I get it. I get it because I have to dance around the Boingo by the Backyardigans (by the way Jen, I secretly like them too. I think it's the music!) or I'll have a plate of Cherrios flung across the room. I get it because Dana has fallen for Dora and we MUST find her every morning and say good morning. But I need to know - what is Kapooch?? I'm picturing a multicolored unicorn with a secret pouch like a kangaroo. Close?

Tash said...

Oh and I 100% agree with Jen....these need to be a book! Lorrie NEED to peen (sorry Jen but now I love that word more than pen) a book. Or what about a children's book ;)