So, in case you haven't noticed, I have been a little--shall we say "stopped up" --on this blog these past few weeks. Maybe it's because nothing interesting has happened lately in my personal life (skin cancer is really a bummer of a topic) or because I have become newly aware of the need to be hyper vigilant not to offend my current boss, any ethnic or religious group, family members, current friends and former acquaintances, and THE ENTIRE PTA OF PS11. Or maybe it's because in an effort to lose that last pesky 50 lbs I have foregone my usual nightly glass (read: bottle) of pinot grigio and as a result have totally lost my blog mojo.
Whatever the reason: the results are the same and now I fear that all three of my loyal readers are set to desert me for some blog by a mom who COOKS! or KNOWS CELEBRITIES! or DOES A GOOD JOB AS A MOM! It will just be me and my uber supportive Mother In Law (HI NONNEE) out here in cyberspace. So I turned to the most reliable source in times of trouble and I GOOGLED THE HELL out of blog topics.
The number one GOOGLE result is www.chrisbrogan.com/ 100-blog-topics-i-hope-you-write. And he starts off like this:
People often ask me how I come up with things to blog about, and I find the question strange, because my problem is the opposite. I have too much to blog about.
Which made me want to say: "well whoop-de-freeking-do Chris Brogan. You must lead AN INCREDIBLY EXCITING LIFE." But then I looked at the 100 suggested blog topics and here is a sampling:
How I Use Facebook
Should My Town Use Social Media?
Technology That Empowers Me
Twitter Jaiku Pownce Facebook
The Difference Between Fark and Truemors
WHAT THE HELL IS CHRIS BROGAN TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY? Because I have absolutely no idea what a Twitter is (distant cousin of Tweety Bird, maybe?) and Facebook is a place my young nephews hang out on and hope I never figure out. So Fark yourself Mr. Brogan. Where are the inspiring blog topics like: My Recent Trip To Kmart. Because I CAN RUN WITH THAT BALL. And by the way, Jacqueline Smith-not only beautiful, but what a designer.
Luckily-there is always a NUMBER TWO in Google and this was "The World's Largest Blog Niche and Topic Idea List" which sounds Mighty Promising, doesn't it? I was all prepared to SUPERSIZE ME a writing topic. So what a disappointment to find that these were the listed topics:
Your Brain & Learning
I don't have a helluva lot to say about any of the above except maybe The Campus Life topic, but both my husband and my father are readers so I couldn't be truthful and WHAT FUN IS THAT. So we were back to square one, or Google #3, which pointed me towards www.timschmoyer.com and the "100 blog topics I Hope You Write" which again, SOUNDS SO PROMISING....
But turns out Mr. Schmoyer is a fan of Mr. Brogan and he basically just appropriated Mr. Brogan's list and put a Christian Right spin on it as follows:
How to use Facebook for Ministry
Technology I use in Youth Ministry
BUT THEN I SAW IT! Blog topic #18 on his list! Addressing Porn and Masturbation at Youth Group! Now THERE was a topic I could sink my teeth into! If I were not worried about offending my boss, any ethnic, religious or social group, friends and family and former acquaintances and that damn ENTIRE PTA of PS11.