Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Not on The List


Today was The Bananna and Complicated Boy's FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL (Can I get an AMEN to that...and shall we now Gather at the River for a cocktail or two, because Fall Drinking Hours officially begin at 9 am now.) Bananna started Kindergarten and CBoy began his maiden voyage as a Second Grader. Both kids had long lists of school supplies that we needed to provide on day one, and we dutifully fulfilled all requests--even the Teacher's "Wish List" because there's nothing we like better than starting off a new year by being a Kiss Ass. One can always hope that future transgressions in Math and Reading will be offset by that jumbo box of Clorox Wipes we so generously provided on September 2nd.

The big change this year is that I am no longer allowed to accompany Cboy to his classroom door, where traditionally we would part like two people in a Lifetime Television movie; in which one character is going off to war and the other is dying of leukemia. Ordinarily, I add an extra ten minutes into the whole process so that after we stop embracing, he can stand at the classroom doorway, wistfully watching me walk away and down the hall, stopping to say "I love you" in sign language every two feet by pointing to my eye, my heart, and then him. Apologies to those of you who at this point have thrown up a little in your own mouths. I feel it is my duty to provide CBoy with enough material for the analyst's couch. I take this job very seriously.

So finding out that he would have to go TO THE THIRD FLOOR ALL BY HIMSELF kind of threw a wrench into everything, and with all the commotion and hubub that is involved in the first day, I handed him what I thought were two bags full of goodies from Staples.

I wonder what his teacher is going to think when she opens them up and discovers a full week of lunches from Jenny Craig.

8 comments:

PearlsOfSomething said...

Llol!

J once went to school with a plastic bag full of dh's company literature, gum, a bluetooth headset, and receipt for cigarettes instead of a book report.

He got an A.

Later in the week, of course!

That's it! *That's why I homeschool! To spare myself embarrassment!

Spatula said...

Oh. My. God. That's awesome.

And it reminds me of the time I packed my lunch into a grocery bag, twisted and tied it close, and then discovered at work that I took the OTHER grocery bag, the one with cat poo and litter in it. Coworkers were SO impressed.

...So at least you didn't hand the teacher two bags of poo.

kwr221 said...

Bwahahaha.... love it.

How's JC by the way? Not THE JC, the Other JC? Shall we see bikini pin-up photos by cruise season?

Mind you, I'm asking as i eat a Wendy's taco salad - sorry. But school doesn't start here until THURSDAY and I just cleaned up kid barf... I feel I'm entitled. At least I'm not drinking. Yet.

JenX67 said...

Thanks for the comment. Also, I should take your lead about sucking up with the wish list. Instead, I skip the Clorox wipes and Kleenex thinking, "WHAT AM I PAYING ALL THAT TUITION FOR?" (i.e. urban Catholic school) Ha!!

Becky said...

Actual LOL! That is hilarious. I am sure the teacher will prefer that to kleenex and purel!

And yes, let's gather at the river. Somewhere they have mojitos.

Jennifer said...

What are you serving at the river Lorrie? I pounded a wonderful glass of Pinot Noir this evening. I'm sure I was supposed to savor it, but to hell with that idea. I just wanted to get my buzz on as quickly as possible with the fewest amount of calories possible.

Just like me ... said...

hee hee ... you might get a note sent home saying CBoy is too young to be on a diet ...

Thanks from droping my my wee hidey hole third on the right ... made a tired grumpy mother smile :)

Bj in Dallas said...

L!
Just getting here after the party weekend with Super D. Do the lists they send for supplies make you crazy? I just want to send my credit card and say have at it....
What I hate is you go shop the night before, because I am so organized, and there are enough glue sticks to build a city but not one friggin package of 'plain manilla paper'. I actually saw one in someone's cart BUT OH NO, I DIDN'T- just went the next day when no one was there. That even makes you feel like a loser, going on the day OF. Long comment but this is funny- my friend, new single dad, was so proud he was holding it together with three little girls. Daughter 3 came home and said "I am so packing my own lunch tomorrow" and he said why? And she said 'instead of a Dr. Pepper, you put a Tecate in my lunch". So I say thats right up there with cat poop and JC rations.
I served mimosas day one and haven't stopped yet....