Monday, November 24, 2008

Our Lips Are Sealed


Sexyhusbandomine and I have different opinions about what constitutes A DANGER TO OUR SPAWN.

For example, despite my protests, he allowed them to have things like Hotdogs and Grapes when they were both three years old, even though I informed him of both the National and International Choking Statistics. Daredevil Daddy that he is, he allows them to do things like RUN and JUMP, while I jog behind them out of breath, clutching the Neosporin in my pocket, praying to St. Patella; Patron Saint of Skinned Knees. As if this were not enough; he has given both ComplicatedBoy and The Banana SIPS OF ICED TEA- even though I told him I would so not forgive him if the caffeine stunted their growth, allowed them to play with PLASTIC TOOTHPICK SWORDS -even though I told him they could lose an eye, and ALLOWED CBOY TO OPERATE POWER TOOLS. Ok, to be fair, that was Grandpa, but still....

The other day he allowed CBoy to have a tube of Blistex. CBoy loved his blue tube of Blistex, applied it numerous times throughout the day and took it with him everywhere he went. As the day ended, he requested that he be allowed to sleep with his Blistex....which is when I discovered it and Took It Away because I'm pretty sure Blistex has some kind of Medicine in it. ( I don't know for sure because SHOM prevented me from calling Poison Control by insisting that those people were too busy dealing with "real emergencies." So I laid awake all night worrying that my poor baby has been applying what could be the waxy equivalent of DDT to his lips for a full day.)

At the break of dawn, we bundled up and I took CBoy to CVS and introduced him the wonderful world of safe, non-toxic lip balms in Vanilla, Cherry, Grape, Orange, and Root Beer. A full pack of delicious chapsticks that he could take with him everywhere he went.


After dropping CBoy off at school this morning. SHOM turned to me and asked me which I thought was worse: The Blistex, or the fact that I had sent my seven year old son to school with a full assortment of pink labeled, tinted LipSmackers.


P.S. Giveaway results announced later this afternoon.

19 comments:

Bj in Dallas said...

Well, he will love the LipSmackers so much that he will start to EAT them and then you have the waxy non toxic ingredients in his stomach. I don't think Blistex would have truly done anything to him, and at least he's not trying to sleep with your Chanel Pink de Pink tube...then I would be worried.

Hey did you see my dog that went with your hat?

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

too funny! Just this weekend, my daughter ate chapstick. . .and then spent the next 5 minutes rubbing her tongue, trying to get the taste off! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

April said...

Let that leash out a little honey! LOL

Miss Thystle said...

Um, sugarplum? Why didn't you just get him plain chapstick? I mean I get not buying him cherry chapstick as then he would feel the need to both kiss girls and like it, but I'm fairly certain the one in the black tube is flavorless and also not likely to get him an atomic wedgie when discovered on his person.

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

My 2 year old found one of my lipsmacker tubes of yummy lip gloss and smeared it all over his face. What was left he ate. He had the runs but is still alive :)

PS - My husband headbutts nd wrestles with our son and then wonders why he's rough with people. ERG!!!

PearlsOfSomething said...

Okay. I heart you, but Death by Blistex? Really??

I shall send you some chill pills. With a childproof cap. :-)

kwr221 said...

Honey, you know I love you, but you're a Worrywort.

Relax, have some wine, then buy him some plain old-fashioned Chapstick. With no other girly gunk in it.

At least he's not singing racy songs like "Gimme gimme gimme a MAN after midnight". :-)

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kwr221 said...

Lol at Amy - my husband does the same thing.

And then wonders why they get all riled up and annoy him.

Spatula said...

Bwah-hah, way to gay up your son there, lady.

Shonda Little said...

This is some funny shit, particularly because I can absolutely see this same conversation happening between Rowdy and I. Love it!

Jennifer said...

Haha, Lip Smackers...

By the way...I was just at a local shop and guess what they had? A ton of your stuff! As I sat there looking at it I thought "Haha...I know her!" Of course, this was to myself and I'm sure I looked weird, but I knew you would understand.

SOMETHING HAPPENED SOMEWHERE TURNING said...

Okay...so you were worried about his well being & safety and then you sent him to school armed with Lipsmackers?
Let's hope that he has enough for the rest of the class.

kip said...

based on these comments, you better pick him up from school with and ice-pack.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

That is too funny. But, yeah, I'd get him some plain chapstick and give the others to your daughter. Even though we all know those LipSmackers taste delicious. :-)

sheila said...

be glad Kip isn't introducing him to Afrin or Robotussin, you know the really addictive stuff. A little Blistex never hurt anyone...

Chandra said...

There are two things my two year old LOVES to eat and eats I bet on a daily basis...chapstick(whatever is available) and Baby Magic lotion...one thing is for sure, he is problaby the most regular pooper in the family with all that lubrication!
Not to worry at least it's just chapstick!

Braja said...

You're right to do that...son could end up with a lifelong attachment (and a weird one, at that) to taking cans of stuff to bed. Y'know.

Megan said...

If memory serves, some of those LipSmackers leave a tint of color on the lips... Please tell me memory does NOT serve me correctly!

Le @ third on the right and cold peas said...

did you tell the Cboy to please not share the lip smacker with the other 22 bods in the class ....

I gave first born a 20 minute lecture on the 'no sharing the lip balm with non blood immediate family members' family policy position ... I think he got the threat of death, disaster and cold sores inflictions I tried to instill into him .... hugs le