Monday, November 24, 2008
Our Lips Are Sealed
Sexyhusbandomine and I have different opinions about what constitutes A DANGER TO OUR SPAWN.
For example, despite my protests, he allowed them to have things like Hotdogs and Grapes when they were both three years old, even though I informed him of both the National and International Choking Statistics. Daredevil Daddy that he is, he allows them to do things like RUN and JUMP, while I jog behind them out of breath, clutching the Neosporin in my pocket, praying to St. Patella; Patron Saint of Skinned Knees. As if this were not enough; he has given both ComplicatedBoy and The Banana SIPS OF ICED TEA- even though I told him I would so not forgive him if the caffeine stunted their growth, allowed them to play with PLASTIC TOOTHPICK SWORDS -even though I told him they could lose an eye, and ALLOWED CBOY TO OPERATE POWER TOOLS. Ok, to be fair, that was Grandpa, but still....
The other day he allowed CBoy to have a tube of Blistex. CBoy loved his blue tube of Blistex, applied it numerous times throughout the day and took it with him everywhere he went. As the day ended, he requested that he be allowed to sleep with his Blistex....which is when I discovered it and Took It Away because I'm pretty sure Blistex has some kind of Medicine in it. ( I don't know for sure because SHOM prevented me from calling Poison Control by insisting that those people were too busy dealing with "real emergencies." So I laid awake all night worrying that my poor baby has been applying what could be the waxy equivalent of DDT to his lips for a full day.)
At the break of dawn, we bundled up and I took CBoy to CVS and introduced him the wonderful world of safe, non-toxic lip balms in Vanilla, Cherry, Grape, Orange, and Root Beer. A full pack of delicious chapsticks that he could take with him everywhere he went.
After dropping CBoy off at school this morning. SHOM turned to me and asked me which I thought was worse: The Blistex, or the fact that I had sent my seven year old son to school with a full assortment of pink labeled, tinted LipSmackers.
P.S. Giveaway results announced later this afternoon.