Deb currently has
I assume by blogging success that you are referring to the fact that I have made $26 in only 8 short months. My husband was thrilled. He calculated that not only can he retire 15 minutes earlier than he had planned but that I have been blogging for .00000000045 cents an hour. Incredible. Look out Dooce, here I come.
Of course, as in all other avenues of life, one cannot measure success by fame and fortune alone. (And have we ever questioned why no one rich or famous ever says that?) I am fortunate to have such wonderful and loyal followers who drop by on a regular basis and leave fabulous comments for me. If those comments could be measured in money...I still wouldn't claim them on my income tax.
2. What's your favorite thing about Me?
My favorite thing about Lorrie is that she has excellent taste in people to interview. Jay Leno could learn so much from her. Plus, she makes some killer pottery, some of which I use on a daily basis. And, since I know her pottery has been spotted on television shows being used by famous people, it is almost like Lorrie is helping me feel famous. Which I like. A lot.
3. If you could ask one person living or dead 3 questions who would the person be and what would be the questions?
When an opportunity like this comes along, you want to make the most of it. I have spent days thinking of the perfect person and I think finally I have decided. Michelle Obama. Think of the knowledge and inside information this woman has! So, here are my questions:
A. How do you get your arms to look that good? Is there a way I can get mine to look that good without much effort?
B. Can I have your hand-me-down clothes? It would be like that whole trickle down theory that was so popular a few administrations ago.
C. Why didn't Oprah let you be on the cover by yourself and will she be audited annually in retaliation? (Please say yes because she is starting to get on my nerves.)
4. Is hair starting to sprout where it does not belong?
On you? I'm not sure. In the last photo I saw of you, you were cleverly concealed behind a piece of pottery. Or did you mean on that sexy husband of yours? I'd have to say it has to be on him. Men just seem to have a real knack for the hair growing in unfortunate places.
So, what I'd like to know about this hair thing is why I am not making any money off of the hair business. Think about it. Women want to curl it if it is straight, straighten it if it is curly, color it, fluff it, dry it, spray it, and extend it. Then, men and women both want rid of it everywhere except the head. And, had I been on the ball, I could have invented some of those medieval torture devices they market as hair removal. Hello? Waxing? You know that wouldn't fly under the Geneva Convention. Another lost opportunity.
5. What is your favorite Neil Diamond song and why? How does it remind you of Me?
How did you know I was a huge Neil Diamond fan? But then again, what well-educated person isn't? I have to admit, I was initially getting him and Tom Jones confused when you asked me this question. But, a quick trip to Wikipedia has educated me in all things Neil and I am a better woman for it. For instance, in 1977, he sang "Song Sung Blues" with Helen Reddy and Henry "The Fonz" Winkler. Now that is some talent.
So many of his great hits remind me of Lorrie including "You Don't Bring me Flowers" because Lorrie hasn't ever given me flowers. Sad, but true. I'm also reminded of her whenever I hear "I've Been this Way Before" because I know she's often stumbling around drunk and not knowing where she is. But obviously, "Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon" is the one that immediately brings Lorrie to mind. As for my favorite, I'll take "And the Grass Won't Pay No Mind" because what could it possibly mean - plus I love the grammar.
My reply: Deb, you are a Store Bought Woman but you make me sing like a guitar hummin.
6. What happened to you during your last alien abduction?
I'm frankly a little upset that Lorrie asked about my last alien abduction. I had confided in her that it was a traumatic experience and I really didn't expect her to announce it all over the internet. I'm legally prohibited from going into all the details here but I think I can say that it involved Dick Cheney, a roll of cherry Lifesavers, and several expired cans of Spam. I'm sorry but that is as much detail as my attorney will let me give.
1/2 Who is your
favorite Cougar victim? That would be Orlando Bloom. Thanks for asking.
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