A NEW FEATURE ON OUR NAME IS BLOG!
Every WEDNESDAY I will suggest three things you should do to CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
While bills are better, Change Is Good...start TODAY Grasshoppers, with these three things:
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
1. TODAY IS ADDICTION-FREE DAY.
Your body can be your temple or, in my case, it's a saloon with a sawdust floor. Cut out one addictive substance for the day to see how much purer you feel. Don't go for anything easy like caffeine, chocolate, or alcohol, because we all know there's a difference between REALLY REALLY ENJOYING something and addiction. Also: note to crack cocaine users; you may not feel purer immediately, you might need to stick with that one for a couple of months.
2. INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO SOMEONE YOU KNOW BUT NEVER SPEAK TO, TODAY.
Talk to a neighbor about the weather, other neighbors, or the fence you want to build.
Talk to a colleague about the coffee machine, the boss or other colleagues.
Talk to a shopkeeper about local news, the freshness of produce, other shopkeepers.
Talk to a local hooker about prices, possible discounts, other hookers.
Talk to your local government leaders about your neighbors and their hooker friends.
3. FLATTER SOMEONE TODAY and see if indeed it does get you everywhere....
Here are some compliment suggestions:
- What a fine hat!
- This is the best memo I've ever read!
-That toupee really suits you, officer!
- They never told me you were beautiful as well as intelligent!
- Oh, it's not the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean!
Now go forth Chickens and do as instructed. Life is Good except when it's crappy. Make me Proud.