Monday, January 04, 2010


Happy New Year Chickens! I hope you all had a joyous holiday season, and that Santa brought you everything you asked for.

Ordinarily at this time of year, I do a brief product review of the presents The Spawn received from Saint Nick. I know this saved 1 or 2 hundreds of you good people from the fate of buying The Bathtub Bubble Blizzard last year. But this year had some unforseen challenges....

First of all- ComplicatedBoy's letter to Santa is as follows:

He writes; "My 3 most importet things are a portal to the North Pole, mostly all my gifts on my list (you can chose) last but not lest is that every kid in the world wold beleve in you."

So obviously, we had our work cut out for us-- as last time we checked at Target, they WERE ALL OUT OF PORTALS TO THE NORTH POLE.

So of course, we checked online.

First, we hit Etsy, in the hopes that we could buy handmade. Our first find was this:

For just $22 from a shop called BWARE this is a MAGIC KEY MOBILE. Could be very helpful, especially if you were planning on breaking into an office and stealing incriminating political evidence...but we were not. What good is a magic key if you can't find the magic portal? We searched again. And found this...

A MAGIC PURPLE SABER WAND, which combines a love of Star Wars with a belief in the occult, at a shop called ORDERED CHAOS for a mere $20 bucks. But we feared that when we waved it, we might end up on The Death Star instead of Santa's workshop, so we turned to EBAY.

Where we found THIS A MAGIC FORK for only $1000. So precious that you can't even steal an image of it.
Ah rats, out of our price range.

Therefore, as 3Lambsgraphics says... we need to just

ComplicatedBoy got a letter from Santa that said The Portal to the North Pole lay in his heart and in his imagination. Which was fine for CBoy, since what he had really wanted was some legos anyway.


Jen said...

I love that CBoy asked for a portal to the North Pole and he was told it lay in his heart and his imagination. You are the best mom ever.

Krëg said...

I won't tell you what I initially thought was pictured in that last image, but it was looking for a compatible gamete.

I always get my north pole portals on Krëgslist.

WV: turreo
Turreo Speedwagon is a crummy band.

Jen said...

Okay. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that.

ZDub said...

I love him.

Hope you had happy holidays laced with chardonnay!

you're stupid and it makes me sad said...

Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog over the holidays and have been following it ever since (it makes me giggle). Just one question: Why do you refer to your readers as Chickens? :)