THe CoMPLiCaTeD BoY iS NiNe

Dear Jesse,

Nine years ago you came into the world. You entered it screaming in outrage at being taken from your warm, dark place of comfort, and nine years later you still like to burrow deeply under the covers in an attempt to postpone facing the morning sun. Your favorite way to greet each day is to say "Five More Minutes,"and then roll back over into the pillow.

This is the year where you developed a crush on a black haired girl who did not return your affections. Every day's weather was dictated by what she said to you or how she looked at you and whether or not she spent more time with your best friend or with you. Til one day, after a particularly harsh rejection, you admitted through tears that maybe you had to accept the fact that she just didn't like you and you cried for two hours straight. I sat beside you on the couch and you should know that two hearts broke that day.

This is the year when your blood pressure soared to 180 and we had to face the fact that your fears were bigger than all of us, and that the sheer force of our love for you could not fix all of your problems. We spent a lot of time with a lot of doctors and tried a lot of different things. For awhile you wore a patch and then you learned how to swallow pills by practicing with tiny m & ms. Right now we feel like we've got the right medicine in the right dose and that it helps you without changing who you are. You are still afraid of clowns and shots and death, and I understand because sometimes I am too.

This is the year when you decided that Michael Jackson was the coolest guy ever, and you practiced the Moonwalk for hours. You wanted everyone in the world to believe in Santa Claus. You became an excellent swimmer and could go back and forth across the pool without stopping for breath. You saw all the Star Wars movies and asked that your Egypt collection be moved to make way for a display that included Luke and Han and R2D2. You drew less, and spent more time making creations out of legos. Goosebumps: The Haunted Mask was one of the first books that had you so excited that you requested that I read it too so we could have our own mini book club. You were nice to your little sister most of the time, and when you weren't, you were later very sorry about it. Or at least you put on a good show.

For your birthday this year, your requests included a jacket worn in the video for THRILLER and a plate of calamari. And a visit to this museum:




Happy Birthday my darling boy. Love, Mom.