Monday, January 02, 2012

WHeRe DiD YoU Go?

So where have I been all this time Chickens? I moved from the heart of New York City to a wonderful little town called (stalkers get your pencils ready) "15 MINUTES OUTSIDE OF PHILLY." (Come on now, I'm not stupid - I watched that Dr. Phil episode where the blogger revealed her address and people sent her flowers. And gifts. And Money. WHAT AM I SAYING??? EMAIL ME AND I'LL SEND YOU MY BANK ACCOUNT NUMBERS IMMEDIATELY. Yes, I'm talking to you, my faithful readers from Nigeria.)

Anyhoo- it's a beautiful town with a lot of history. It is a "walkable town" which would be great if I remembered how to do that. But apparently the first thing that goes when you move out to burbs is your ability to travel any distance on foot. There was a time when I would walk 20 city blocks and think nothing of it, now I send one of The Spawn to the mailbox. Which is a slot in the front door. Gawd, I'm exhausted just typing about it.

But the thing is: we've been here 6 months and I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. I just recently learned how to work our dishwasher. (Apparently I was pushing the button that said cancel instead of the button that said start. It only took a few episodes of e coli to figure that tricky thing out.) So I am lucky there is an apartment over the garage because I am hoping Sexyhusbandofmine might get me one of these:

Although the whole "Go on Whoopie-Strike for two years to see if he'll get you a pool boy" thing didn't work out so well in the past. I have yet to even see a pool. But I have caught up on some sleep.

So I have a Plan B. It involves

I figure if I can just learn how to take those curves at 120 mph I should be ok for a trip to the grocery store. And I might even figure out which one is the gas pedal--the big one or the small one. Until then, I'll just have to get around town any way I can:


Kr√ęg said...

Finally found the box you put your computer in? Good to see you are back.

Weezie said...

Thank goodness you have rejoined the land of the living (even though you now live in the 'burbs). It's a start.

Logical Libby said...

Oh, I hate driving. I do it every day, and I hate it.

Glad you are back.