WHeRe DiD YoU Go?

So where have I been all this time Chickens? I moved from the heart of New York City to a wonderful little town called (stalkers get your pencils ready) "15 MINUTES OUTSIDE OF PHILLY." (Come on now, I'm not stupid - I watched that Dr. Phil episode where the blogger revealed her address and people sent her flowers. And gifts. And Money. WHAT AM I SAYING??? EMAIL ME AND I'LL SEND YOU MY BANK ACCOUNT NUMBERS IMMEDIATELY. Yes, I'm talking to you, my faithful readers from Nigeria.)

Anyhoo- it's a beautiful town with a lot of history. It is a "walkable town" which would be great if I remembered how to do that. But apparently the first thing that goes when you move out to burbs is your ability to travel any distance on foot. There was a time when I would walk 20 city blocks and think nothing of it, now I send one of The Spawn to the mailbox. Which is a slot in the front door. Gawd, I'm exhausted just typing about it.



But the thing is: we've been here 6 months and I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. I just recently learned how to work our dishwasher. (Apparently I was pushing the button that said cancel instead of the button that said start. It only took a few episodes of e coli to figure that tricky thing out.) So I am lucky there is an apartment over the garage because I am hoping Sexyhusbandofmine might get me one of these:



Although the whole "Go on Whoopie-Strike for two years to see if he'll get you a pool boy" thing didn't work out so well in the past. I have yet to even see a pool. But I have caught up on some sleep.

So I have a Plan B. It involves



I figure if I can just learn how to take those curves at 120 mph I should be ok for a trip to the grocery store. And I might even figure out which one is the gas pedal--the big one or the small one. Until then, I'll just have to get around town any way I can: