Vamanos Yolanda?

So the time has come for the lovely Yolanda to leave the House of Mud. The Witness Protection Plan likes to keep its people moving...wait..was I supposed to write that Yolanda? Anyhow, she has plans to travel the world, see amazing sights, meet new people, and collect all the quarters from each new state. It goes without saying that she will be deeply missed by all. Back when she started with us, Jesse was still popping up in the office next door to home, dressed as Peter Pan (except missing the pants). She has handled key accounts and most certainly held the key to all our hearts (even JN's; although in addition to a key you need a 15 digit security code and a cornea scan.)

We hope that Yolanda enjoys her journey and we wish her much luck on the roads ahead. We hope she leaves with a minimal amount of baggage, and that all her troubles can be packed up in an old kit bag. We hope the road rises to meet her, the wind is always at her back, and that eventually she'll circle round and visit often. In the meantime, we want to add some mementos to your metaphorical suitcases. Here is what your fellow co workers would like you to leave MUD with:

CAROLYN: Plenty of snacks and anti bacterial soap…. (Because at the end of the day, it really is all about something salty,and something sweet, and having clean hands.)

BECKY:A lifetime supply of Apple Cinnamon Soy Crisps and an ipod that won’t die. (because again, GAWD FORBID you find yourself with nothing to munch on.)

JZ: I wanna pack a rotiserrie chicken('cause the girl loves her bird) and a 10 cent coupon to dallas bbq to help ease the cost of the plane trip. Also some rubber bands so she can fling them at the guy in front of her on the plane and think of me.......possibly some fake bologne and a green sweatshirt similar to the one she wears out on a daily basis. MMMMMMM, some sparkling water, chocolate marshmallows, canned soup, weird food items wrapped in foil......... (Just as an aside, we asked for A SENTENCE OR TWO. JZ rewrote his response while waiting for his lunch, obviously)

CANDACE: The movie “Fried Green Tomatoes” (because her real name is Towanda)…and one of those beer drinking hats (because she loves the juice and sports).- (Just as a note here, Candace skipped this part of the assignment and went straight to sappy love you-miss you-you are my friend kind of stuff. Then she sobered up before lunch and sent this in)

UMA: All she needs to pack are a flask and a compass. I can’t believe I won’t have anyone to attack me with rubber bands and coo at penguins anymore!! Meeooow *sniffle
(glug, glug. Obviously hanging out with Candace now.)

KIP:Labels and routing guides- (I have no idea what these are, but strangely I agree)

JILL: This reminds me of the “I’m going on a picnic game”. Mom would resort to it for us in the car a lot to keep us kids from killing each other in the back, (before Dad had to yell “don’t make me stop this car!”). The first person to go had to pick something for the picnic basket that started with the letter “A” and say it out loud. “I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing Apples” - then the next person had to pick something starting with “B” and say the whole sentence again but with the “A” thing too, and then say their “B” thing. The next person had to pick from “C” and say all three… memorizing the A and the B thing…as you get on into the alphabet, it gets harder and harder and funny to try to remember the list. It’s fun. Sooooo, I’m packing Yolanda’s bag and I’m putting in an Alka Seltzer (in case she get indigestion)
(Again, the instructions were 1-2 sentences. We are amazed at Jill's restraint.)

JOHN N: season tickets to the Knicks cause she likes hoops.-I'm gonna also throw in a set of keys to the office since she'll always be welcomed back . (awww, so typical of JN to get all sentimental like that, aint it?)

MONIKA: I see that she got a lot of food in her bag, but still, she also have to take some cheese with her, it is a must, but NO PEPPERS in any form!! Also a must have, any type of clothing in GREEN. Oh, and an alarm clock! )) Who knows, maybe she will need it when she has to be on time to lay on the beach in Greece, or under the palm trees in Paraguay and throwing mangos at strangers walking by. It always comes handy!! (Monika taking a cue from Jill here obviously)

ALYSSA: a mini-dirty martini bar. chicken lemon-egg soup and omelettes from the Greek Diner. the DVDs of Lost and AmericaÂ’s Next Top Model. and John Nelson’s IPod song lists. (Cuz it's easier to travel when ya got some booty shakin music-true dat)

MAYA: I’d put a BIG but foldable world atlas into Yolanda’s bag with many little handprint stickers, so that she would place one over each place that she travels to!! And a book of international stamps – to send postcards to Monika here so that we could all be a part of her travels!!! (Hey-where was the kiss ass part of this response Maya? Didn't you mean to write: 'wonderful memories of a great place to work with outstanding bosses?' Sheesh.)

Anyway, I'd say let's have one for the road but from the above it's clear that if you have one more you may get pickled. So GOOD LUCK, GODSPEED, and come back and visit us often!!!