Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Kip suggested I blog about the following:
"Why can children swim for hours in 60 degree ocean water, and when I go in up to my knees I want to throw up?"

Well, honey, let's see. While several possibilities spring to mind, I'm going to go with: BECAUSE YOU ARE AS OLD AS DIRT.

Here is a list of other things your children are currently able to do that YOU CANNOT.

1. Sniff their own toes. (For this-I am grateful. You have other odors you like to discuss--it's enough.)

2. Look styling while wearing the cammy shirt with the cammy shorts. And the Batman flip flops with the Pirates of the Caribean necklace. (You have got to stop playing it so safe--throw out the J CREW catalog and live a little, darling. )

3. Exist for hours on nothing more than three spoonfulls of LIFE cereal. ( You and I still believe that LOTS of people eat a whole chocolate cake in one sitting.)

4. Two words, baby: MONKEY BARS. (followed by slides, soccer, tag, and general bouncing off the walls, that for us results in weeks of soreness, stiffness, and sometimes not being able to get out of bed)

5. Manage to get somene to assist them with their personal hygene by sitting on the pot yelling "I am FINISHED...O DAD...I said...I AM DONE..."

Perhaps together we have managed to create two superbeings whose wonder powers only activate occassionally. They sometimes seem to be impervious to cold, hunger, and slapstick humor. I can attest that they can go HOURS and HOURS and HOURS without sleep.

But the most annoying thing that they CAN do which you seem unable to do is to COMPLY WITH MY ORDERS. They seem a bit clearer about who the boss is, my love. Perhaps you could work on that? XO


Kip said...

sorry i asked

Lorrie Veasey said...

He says that ALL the time. Go figure.