Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Commona Ovah To Ma House

If, like me, you are a big fan of you'll know she just recently had a house party tour. TO WHICH SHE DID NOT INVITE ME. Which is Just Not Right, seeing as I would have been the one to spill the red wine on the white carpets and spend an hour snooping in her medicine cabinets. Anyhoo, my favorite Drew Barrymore look-alike (she does, doesn't she?) has a LOVELY house with lots of beautiful distressed wood. My house is just plain distressed. So let's have a party of our own, shall we? An impromptu thing--like you just arrived at the door with a keg, a box of wine and a package of frozen cocktail weiners. And you are not A BIT surprised that the place is a mess.

So here we are in the yard. This is where we keep our bikes, our baby carriages, our blow up Elmo dolls and the small ponies that are so necessary to life in New York City.

Which way should we go?

I think we will have to go for "HOME" seeing as "The Bear Cave" is a euphamism for second bathroom that we would like to encourage Sexyhusbandomine to use for his "Sit-Downs."

So here were are in the ENTRANCE.

And as you can see we have a breathtaking view. I know you guys are used to seeing swanky NYC digs on television and in movies, but the truth is most one bedrooms come with a rooster.

If for no other reason than to keep the horses company.

Now, let's go into the kitchen.

My only words of advice being that you shouldn't drink and mural. Here's more of the kitchen.

Isn't it handy the way the kitchen table doubles as a desk for Sexyhusbandomine? New Yorkers are totally resourceful like that. Most of the time he puts that computer away when we eat at the table. Sometimes he doesn't, and I sit across from him and it's like a scene in the old Get Smart tv show where they lower the cone of silence.

This is how I manage my life as a Mompreneur.

Every smiley face equals one dollar. Bananna is thrifty and has been saving for a motorized Barbie dream car (which we will have to fit in that front hall) but CBoy spends his allowance each week. This past week he blew the whole wad on a set of plastic teeth painted gold. Because HE ABSOLUTELY NEEDED THAT GRILLE. Sadly, they made him gag each time he tried to wear them, so we feel a valuable financial lesson was learned. Next week I am sending that boy into town with our cow.

Here's a shot of our living room.

That danish coffee table with the Sharpie Marker all over it is symbolic of our transition from new parents to the seasoned veterans that we are now. It was a big day in our house when we allowed sharp corners to re-enter our lives.

Here's two of my favorite pieces of artwork

My orange horses head and

A portrait of Sexyhusbandomine's father: DeeDadalicious. First of all, let me say that we are the ONLY ones who have this picture hanging in our home which we think should clearly have some weight when he drafts his will--me being the GOOD Daughter-In-Law and all. Secondly, let me add that the challenge in hanging this portrait was that the greatest available wall space was in our bedroom and while I love DeeDadlicious, no one wants Judge Wapner announcing any verdicts in their boudoir. Speaking of which...

There was a time we collected fine leatherbound editions with pages edged in gold. Now we have multiple copies of Goodnight Moon. Note that in order to reach the bed, you must TURN SIDEWAYS. Hence the recent decision to join Jenny Craig. This room also has other bedroom essentials not pictured: dressers, closets, fur lined handcuffs, etc.

I cannot show you The Spawn's rooms because there are signs on them that say things like KEEEEEP OT and NO TRISPAZNG and because the sheer magnitude of things like The Egyptian Collection and The Stuffed Animal Collection are blogworthy in themselves, so we will start winding up the tour here--in the powder room.

And here you have the only hardship of city life; sharing this small bathroom with FIVE PEOPLE: Me, CBoy, Bananna, Sexyhusbandomine, and Sexyhusbandomine's colon.

This concludes today's tour of Chez Veasey. We've enjoyed having you, and hope you won't mind taking out the garbage on your way out.


TJ said...

I love all the painting on your walls, thanks for having me over.

Daisy said...

Your kitchen is adorable!!

Shonda Little said...

Your home is beautiful.

anna said...

Wow, those murals are fantastic. And hey, while I was looking at it, I kept thinking, "Wow this is IN New York City?" That is like the equivalent of a 6,000 sq foot house out here, I think!

kwr221 said...

I love the exposed brick.

You've really done a lot with a small space.

Dang, I sound like a real estate agent.

Love the whimsical murals.

And yes, I was totally enlarging each pic to see if I could identify clutter or a bevy of way cool Our Name is Mud mugs and toothbrush holders and shit.

kwr221 said...

The orange horse is cool of course, but is that a STEER ( or BULL)behind the light glare over the kitchen table!?

JenX67 said...

1) i, too, have multiple goodnight moons - torn into bits and pieces from teething...
2) I love your home. Very New York. That mural rocks.
3) Is that bra picture really you? YOU crack me up.
4) I want to live in New York.

JenX67 said...

I have an idea. You be the blogger from Oklahoma, and I'll...except the tornadoes and bigots would probably run you off in say, three days.

soulmoxie said...

Hilarious! I do love the digs! So when this "Drew Barrymore" look alike comes to the big city, where will I be staying???

Thanks for the shout out! and congrats on your 4 pounds.

Lorrie Veasey said...

Jen- you mean OKLAHOMAH--where the wind comes sweepin down the plains and the waving wheat sure smells sweet when the wind is right behind the rains?
I mean, i absolutely would...but those crop circles give me the heebie jeebies.

Lorrie Veasey said...

Yes K--
there's a lot of bull in that kitchen o mine.

kwr221 said...

Hold on a minute, missy!

I just checked out your Mud web site.

You *have no toothbrush holders?! Why not? It's a stroke of genius.

When you create them, I'll send you my address for the royalty check.

Or maybe just pick up the bar tab when I come to NYC. :-)


Racie Lover said...

I, too, enjoyed the tour of your smart NYC digs and thanks for having me over. Btw, you're out of t.p. in the downstairs powder room. You might want to put out a fresh roll before the next guests arrives.

Ur, I also drank the last of the vodka I found hidden in your freezer behind the Pudding Pops. Sorry.

Miss Thystle said...

um, you didn't show us what's inside the medice cabinet? AND you didn't get a close up of the baseboards so I can see if you dust or not.

Because if you do? We're breaking up.

Scrappin Jenny said...

That was so awesome...I think I might have to do this on my blog someday...

Meranda said...

I loved the tour. Your house looks very cozy and fun

Spatula said...

Thanks for the tour! I love the orange horse. The orange horse has my heart! Even if it probably signified a mafia threat to a Toys R Us manager?

And the murals are shiz-awesome.

zakary said...

I love it! You are too funny.

Fe said...

Lovely visiting your beautiful home! I'm not sure that I should be allowed to drive (ie operate heavy machinery) after viewing your murals!!

Love them all!!

Megan said...

I would have to clean for DAYS before I took pictures of my whole house! (Either that or just move the big piles of shit from room to room as I photographed them.)

I'm loving all the horses! Are you a country girl at heart, LV?

Becky said...

Love your place! Thanks for having us in--and I am surely going to steal this idea.

1)Please come drink and mural at my house.

2)I love your taste! How can I get a horse head of my own?

3) The bear cave! I am dead from laughing.

Suddenly Sixty said...

Wow I can smell sexyhusbandomine's colon from NY all the way to here in Las Vegas!!

Yum! I can relate, don't let him eat oats or he'll be farting like a horse at the kitchen/computer table.

Mambinki said...

I love your house! YOu have used the space so well and it is so creative. Thank you for sharing and for commenting on my blog too. You are cool and I give you a virtual clink with my virtual wine glass.