Thursday, August 14, 2008

Complicated Boy

Dear Mommy,
It has been brought to my attention that you have started calling me "Complicated Boy" on your blog. I must ask you to immediately Cease and Desist. Don't Make Me Have To Use the Sword.


It's not like I was born complicated or anything. How about a little credit for NURTURE vs. NATURE, huh? In all those books you read like "Figuring Out What The Heck You're Doing" or "Parenting for Dummies" wasn't there a section that explained the possible damage of doing THIS to your child? I mean..didn't you always used to say we should SAVE THE TIN FOIL FOR THE WALLS?


Or how about allowing your child to do THIS to himself. I mean, come on, Mom. You should have known better than to give a pack of Sharpies to a four year old! Especially a week before class photos.


I mean, after all Mommy-it is YOU who first told me that LIFE IS LIKE ONE LONG EPISODE OF PROJECT RUNWAY. I'm just Trying To Make It Work. Some credit, please. Let's not focus on my fears of balloons and subways, my penchance for dramatics, my unwillingness to be alone in a room by myself...

If I have moments of moodiness, perhaps it is because I am channeling one of my past lives.


If you insist on continuing to refer to me as Complicated Boy, I will have to charge you per click through. Nothing personal, Mommy, it's just bidness. I am hoping if I save up enough, I can get a BB Gun.


P.S. Could you at least call me CBoy? It's way cooler.

12 comments:

Ferocious Kitty said...

Do you believe in arranged marriages? If so, I could make life very simple for us, in oh, say, 25 years. ;-)

Lorrie Veasey said...

D-
Let's talk dowery. We've always thought we were going to have to give a few head of cattle to someone to take him off our hands.

kwr221 said...

I'm on his side - CBoy is waaay too cute. Does he like older women?

Get your mind out of the gutter right now! I only have eyes for the US Olympic swimmers. I meant my DD - she's 10. Too old, huh?

Anyway, are those cluttered counters I spied in the first photo?

If so, I think I love you!

Shonda Little said...

This post made me oh-so-happy, especially the Greek God/Egyptian God photo. I'm not sure which it is.
Glad to see my boy isn't alone in the quirkiness.

Bj in Dallas said...

I think the moustache should go on with a permanent marker- its a good look. And if you're talking a cattle dowery, welllll...., we know all ABOUT that down here-

Scrappin Jenny said...

I'm not sure which picture I liked better...the one of CBoy with the beard and mustache or the one of him as an Egyptian. I think it might be the Egyptian one. The look on his face just pulls the ensemble together.

zakary said...

He is so flippin' cute!

That first picture had me rolling.

Ferocious Kitty said...

No dowry. His betrothed is one of those feminist types who would object to being "bought."

Her parents, however, welcome gifts and fabulous prizes.

noble pig said...

Oh I love Complicated Boy he is an original! So sweet!

TJ said...

CBoy rocks.

JenX67 said...

these photos are great.

Racie Lover said...

I think there is definite hope for CBoy. My cousin's son (apparently) has grown out of his fetish for Windex and Hoover Vaccuum cleaners. He announced when he was 3 that when he grew up he wanted to be a window washer and janitor.

Btw, has CBoy mentioned Cleopatra? That could make things interesting.