Monday, August 04, 2008

Freedom's Just Another Word....

We just returned from a few days away in New Hampshire. My family has a cottage in a teeny weeny little town (smaller than your average Walmart) on private land owned by a bunch of Methodists. It is virtually unchanged from how it looked over 200 years ago and generation after generation of families bring their children to tiny cottages with no air conditioning and questionable electricity, to ride bikes on the dirt roads, play amongst the pine trees, and swim in the swimming hole. All I can say is THANK GOODNESS I BROUGHT MY iPHONE.

Not because I Don't Do Rural--don't get me wrong. Sexyhusbandomine remarked after three days how easily I seemed to equate a Dip in the River to a Bath With Soap. I told him to worry when I allowed The Spawn to clean their teeth with tree bark. Or started Playing Banjo. Or Brought Home a Dog Named Yeller.

It is good that I had my handy dandy iPhone because in this place of innocence--this Land of the Lost sans Sleestax, the unthinkable happens: CHILDREN ARE ALLOWED TO ROAM FREE. Starting at about the age of six, their parents push them out the screen door and encourage them to roam the grounds... Without. An. Adult.

Let me just state for the record that I am a HELICOPTER MOMMY. I hover, I smother, I stand outside the bathroom door waiting for my cue to step in and assist with Kandoos. The only place my children have ever gone without supervision is TO SLEEP and that would have been a fluke because usually one of us is Right There on the end of the bed.

But Complicatedboy is seven and a half now and I realize my days of Choppermothering are numbered. So Sexyhusbandomine and I agreed that The Spawn can walk down to the church in the center of the grounds BY THEMSELVES. This is a huge deal for them-- and for me-- because that's about seven cottages away and not a Nanny for miles. But Sexyhusbandomine reminded me that some mothers send their children to places like CAMP. Or SLEEPOVERS. Or IRAQ. And while I was momentarily distracted with a full blown panic attack he set them on the road.

Luckily, before they set off, I had slipped Complicatedboy my iPhone and showed him how to place a call for help.

We followed after them five minutes later and met them by the swings, where Bananna was in full celebration mode, jumping around and singing "I Walked Down a Road By Myself!! We found Complicatedboy off to the side, VERY UPSET.

He had used my handy dandy iPhone-wanting to make contact-to boast of his accomplishment-to check in with his high strung Mother.

Everytime he had dialed the number I gave him, the phone in his own hand had rung.

Thanks to all of you who linked to my August Give-Away posted below! It is an honor to swap snark with you all. Winner will be announced soon-and don't forget to Email me with your choice of mug from our website at & your shipping address if you posted a link on your blog.


zakary said...

That is too funny! I am the same way with the kids. My biggest fear is that Zoe will get kidnapped.

Mrs. B. Roth said...

I too am a helicopter mom. Good gravy, there should be some kind of support group for us. Or if society would just execute all kidnappers and child hurters immediately, well, maybe my kid could ride his bike around the block.

Megan said...

What a great pic!

Letting kids be kids out in the woods. How lovely!

I fully expected there to be some mention of your fantastic use of *ahem* free time... :)

The Recovering Lethargic said...

If you give your kids too much freedom in the woods, they may get into mischief that you, yes you, will be responsible to clean up. Like catching a skunk in a "humane" trap that is not designed to kill an animal but allow it to be relocated.

Keep Hovering.


kwr221 said...

You will soon learn to LOVE the freedom that these jaunts will afford you.

Embrace this.

Encourage this.

Then hurry up and sign them up for camp next year before it's full. Your kids are obviously competent, self-confident and ready for new adventures.

My kids BEG to go to camp and I just smile, drink a glass of wine and send them care packages while they're away. :-)

The bonus is time with Darling Husband, but even when I have to work, it feels like a VACATION!

Daisy said...

Cute story. It made me laugh.

Hope you all had fun on your vacation!

Miss Thystle said...

Lor, you're such a city mom! Us hillbilly wild west redneck types LOVE to send out kids out to wander free. And while they're gone? NEKKID CAKE NIGHT.

Anyway, if you've ever seen "The Ransom of Redchief" you'd know why I'm not worried that M will stay kidnapped for long. If any kidnapper was brave enough to fight through the mist of hairspray and text speak long enough to kidnap her in the first place.

PS. Notice how I wrote you a really long semi comprehensible comment? My secret? NO WHISKEY when company comes over. I know, I'm a model wife & hostess.

Bj in Dallas said...

Love this one-
I have had M2 practice screaming since she was little 'just in case' and the sound she makes can pop the dents out of a car hood!
(And then I watch her walk across the street to the neighbors house-)
Has CBoy recovered from the episode? TBanana will now want you to release her at the mall, you know-
:)Bj, 104 degrees in TX today

TJ said...

I'm a helicopter too, that is too funny about the phone. I gave my 7 yr old a cell phone to take to the playground 1/2 block from our house. We live in a very small, close knit community which doesn't stop me from nearly having a panic attack everytime I let him go.

Tash said...

Oh I have so much ahead of me...I'm in "she just learned to scale the furniture like a professional climber mode" ....I love that picture of them Lorrie...