Monday, December 01, 2008


When I was young, a trip to the dentist meant spending some quality time with a magazine called HIGHLIGHTS. My least favorite regular feature (beside the Hidden Pictures which some kid would have always finished in crayon before me) was a cartoon called GOOFUS AND GALLANT, which contrasted the behavior of two young boys. In each installment, Goofus and Gallant would respond very differently to the same situation. Goofus always chose an irresponsible path, while Gallant always did the Right Thing.

I was always rooting for Goofus to get his act together. I didn't think it was fair that he had to go through life with a name like that, and to be frank-he always seemed like he would be the "fun" one to hang out with, especially if you wanted to go play with matches or shoot a bb gun at the neighbor's house. But what bothered me most was that the relationship between the two boys was never clearly defined. I lay awake at night wondering: Were They Cousins? Twins Seperated at Birth? Some Sort of Clones Like on Star Trek Episode 45?

Flash forward lo these many years and the little matter of NATURE VS. NURTURE continues to occupy my remaining brain cells.

Take, for example, this ACTUAL REAL LIVE AND TRUE conversation we had at Chez Veasey this morning:

BANANA: But I want to go to school! I REALLY WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!
ME: But honey you have a fever of 102 and you just threw up. Let's put the tv on.
BANANA: But I feel better now! I can't miss school! Waaaaaah!
CBOY: Um, Mom? Take a look at this injury. I think we should probably BOTH stay home today.
ME: That's called a hangnail, and you are going to school.
BANANA: Please mommy please mommy don't make me stay home and watch tv! There's a canned food drive today and I need to help the poor people with no food!
CBOY: You don't love me.

And then there is the little matter of the "WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR?" school assignments from last week. The Banana wrote: I AM GRATEFUL FOR
* My Mommy and Daddy
* My Brother
* My cats
* Dressups
* Rainbows

Here is CBoy's list of things he is GRATEFUL FOR:

Allow me to translate:
* My annoying sister
* Food
* Me
*My dead Grandma and Grandpa (who by the way is still alive) and fish and cat
* My esophogus
* My small intestine
* My skull
* My heart
* My brain
* George Washington
* Abraham Lincoln
* Teddy Roosevelt

Hmmm. I can't wait to see what Mother's Day brings this year.


Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

too funny. You're right. Goofus had to be way more fun!

Jennifer said...

You know...your esophagus and small intestine are definitely things to be thankful for. I shutter to think of what my life would be like without them.

Miss Thystle said...

YOu know, I never thought to be thankful for my digestive organs. CBoy, you've taught me a valuable lesson, I'll be writing my liver an appology note later today.

Kr√ęg said...

*My Skull*


Bj in Dallas said...

M2 said she was thankful for me one time because I bought Ketchup in great big bottles...

I knew I had arrived.

tjames said...

Oh my. They are quite a hoot!

Debbie said...

You have to love the difference in the kids. And who isn't grateful for small intestines? Hey, why isn't that on the platters?


That's just too funny!
And all very important things to be thankful for.

Heidi said...

that is hilarious!

rpc said...

I remember when my daughter's preschool held a special Thanksgiving ceremony. Each child went up onto the stage and said "I am thankful for ....". The other three years olds said things like family, mom, sisters, parents. My daughter said "I am thankful for my bed". That was 11 years ago, and I still give her a hard time about it.

LuckyMe said...

Absolutely hysterical and Miss thystle made me laugh!

When Boy1 was about 18 months, I had to hold milk back because he was getting all of his nutrition from milk. When I finally walked through the door with a gallon of moo juice, he gave me a big squeezey hug and said. "Sank oo, mommy!!" like I brought him the moon.

zakary said...

I, too, am very thankful for my small intestines.

That cracks me up.

Rachael said...

So you gave birth to your own Goofus and that what you're saying?

kwr221 said...

looks like my son's list. Except he's 13. ANd your son has better handwriting. ;-(

Megan said...

I don't know about y'all, but I'm pretty damn thankful for myself, too. And Teddy Roosevelt.

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

Oh, how funny! Boys, boys, boys! Mine's 2 and barely talking... I know I'm in store for some funny stuff. I can't wait.

BooBs said...

I can't believe he left his liver off of that list. Have we taught him nothing?

PearlsOfSomething said...

I love it!

Let's have a playdate! :)

sheila said...

It's like you live in your very own Lifetime Movie or After School Special. Those kids are hysterical and yet they don't mean to be. Which makes it even better!

Natasha said...

This is always..hey you were the big Nacho/Gingerman winner!! Congrats! I couldn't believe it when you nailed it...genius

Miss Thystle said...

how the hell did you get 62 followers? Hm. That sounded mean. I mean it not like "DAMN how'd you fool 62 people into following YOU" but more like "DAMN. I was here first, bitches, so step off the prizes, moFo's!"

Clearly, I need to start bribing readers better. Do you think cash is too tacky?

kwr221 said...

Thystle, I'm with you.

Funny clips, artsy photos, links to cool sites, rants and raves, yummy recipes, details about my bodily functions... clearly, none of that is working.

I need a hobby.

Something that people will envy and lust after.

But, I do have 61 Twitter followers.

Just sayin'.

Racie Lover said...

I had the same attitude about Gufus and Gallant. I always wanted to be Gufus because Gallant was too perfect and I never trusted his always-clean clothes. Way too fussy for a kid. Thinking back, I'm sure he was gay and Gufus was A.D.D.

I am thankful for my newly-straightened priviously-deviated septum. I am also thankful Zurtac washed down with Bailey's.

Spatula said...

Bwa-ha! Your kids are Twin Clones From Star Trek :-D

"This is Jack's colon. It appreciates Jack's appreciation."

Debra W said...

Hi Lorrie!

I am back! Not that you knew I was gone, but I was, so I just thought I would let you know. Can I just tell you how much I truly LOVE my Thanksgiving platter! I received it just before I was leaving for the mountains and I jumped for joy! It is absolutely lovely and knowing that I won it directly from the "mud queen" herself makes it even more wonderful. Thank you, thank you!

What a great post this is! I love how siblings raised in the same family, by the same parents can be so completely different!

Big hugs,

Lucky Wife said...

You could be writing about my children, the school nurse and I have a special relationship as my oldest is sick E V E R Y D A Y...

My youngest has a 5 yr plan on how she is going to save the world, end poverty and world hunger.