Thursday, January 29, 2009

HeLLo LiGHT, GooDBYe TuNNeL


illustration by Geoff Gibson, used without any permission whatsoever cuz that's how I roll.

Hello Chickens,

Thank you for all the Emails you sent this week--most of which said WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU, some which said I won $5 million bucks in the Nigerian Lottery (hope you got my reply with my full name and bank account info), others that were warm messages of friendship which warned if I did not forward onto ten people immediately that I would die a horrible and painful death, a few that advised me not to buy cold medicine for my children because it had all been recalled , and one that explained how Bill Gates would pay me money if I just opened up my address book and sent a few emails.

I guess I need to question wether or not this week actually happened: I mean--is it real if I didn't blog about it? And if a tree falls in the middle of the woods and no one is around to see it: do the other trees make fun of it?

Here now: a brief summary of my week:

I had PEOPLE TO ENTERTAIN. Business people. This used to be fun: back in the day when there were these incredible things called Expense Accounts. You could actually enjoy drinks together that weren't served in a plastic cup with a straw.

I saw Sheree from www.opinionsofabroad.blogspot.com She came over to my house for Chinese food and we spent much of the time talking about how much we love Thystle work. But not in THAT way.

There was big drama with the PTA. A little something called POTTERYGATE which involves a donated kiln, a budget, and a program: but the first rule of PTA is that you don't talk about PTA.

Complicated Boy's unrequited love suddenly requited, and sent a note which said "I Love You. P.S. Meet me by the slide."

I'm pretty sure one or more of The Spawn had flu at some point.

We went to a charity event with friends, met and shook hands with Robert Kennedy Jr. ,stood shoulder to shoulder at the bar with Richard Gere, petted Debbi Harry's two dogs, and stalked Matt Dillon to the bathroom. When I got home and changed into my pajamas, thinking I had such a glamorous life, I stepped in a big pile of cat vomit in my bare feet and remembered that I don't.

Is it February yet?

27 comments:

Spatula said...

So based on the last paragraph, your life is my life, except mine only has the cat vomit. Excuse me, I am going to shed a tear on my own behalf... OK, all better.

So did the stupid board room people buy your stuff? I am guessing yes, what with the busy launch. Hooray! You can afford wine again! :-P

Jennifer said...

The answer to your question is yes...if a tree falls in the middle of the woods and no one is around to see, the other trees not only make fun of it, but they video tape it and send it into America's Funniest Home Videos for a chance at $10,000.

My cat threw up this morning as well, but my daughter kindly pointed it out before I actually stepped in it. Mighty sweet of her, don't you think?

kwr221 said...

Oh, suuuurrrreeee, talk about Thystle, but not the rest of us. What are we, chopped liver?

Sorry about the cat vomit, that sucks.

Welcome back.

le @ thirdontheright said...

hello dear one :)

hope the june line is your best ever ... and if the board people don't like it time for a new board me thinks ...

now I know dogs are superior to cats cos when a dog pukes they just eat it back up again - double yum - hugs le xoxoxo

LuckyMe said...

Well, I sing Debbi Harry's song in Guitar Hero. Does that count for anything?

My life would be complete rubbing elbows with all those people. Sounds like fun.

Except for the cat part.

Megan said...

Am I the only one that wants to know more about this requited love? Just what happened by the slide, hmmm?

SOMETHING HAPPENED SOMEWHERE TURNING said...

My cat always gets all cuddly and right in my face and when I least expect it he sneezes. Big wet spraying in my face sneezes. Our other cat vomits.
But you know what, I'm betting those who live the glamorous life get to go home and step in crap and puke just like the rest of us.

blairspage said...

I wish I lived in a fun exciting BIG CITY! That's where my heart is, but I think my redneck hubby would die not to be next to woods of some sort to hunt in. Can I come visit you? :)

Thanks for the compliment. I actually just re-did the new paint color already in the kitchen. It was too sunshine yellow and I was wanting a more mustard darker yellow. The new color looks awesome... my muscles hurt from all this painting... even my neck muscles... and that's not because of too much head with the hub! UGH! He's so neglected during projects.

Hugs- Tiff

blairspage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kwr221 said...

I'm with Megan... is that the next post?

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

Cat vomit? Gross dude. I love Thystle too.

Lo said...

AAah. PTA -- more effective than "Just Say No." Just tell children if they make babies, they will have to be part of PTA. That'll shrivel their little whatevers.

PearlsOfSomething said...

Cat vomit. It's like we're living the same life.

TJ said...

I too am with Megan, more slide romance please.

Miss Thystle said...

Yes, yes, THE SLIDE! Spill it! Will there be a Jungle Gym Wedding? With dandelion bouquets and a fifth grader to act as minister? Then, a tawdry divorce with scandlous shouting about who will get to use the swings when? And then, a custody battle over the really big box of crayons?

Bj in Dallas said...

don't forget the Honeymoon at Chuck E. Cheese....and the children that are actually Webkinz..
I heart Richard Gere. I would have had to touch his butt or something since he has showed it to us in so many films. Then I would have started singing "Call Me" to Debbi Harry and at that point been asked to leave. Then come home do dog vomit. So you got nothin on us. Just your celebrities are real.

Mama said...

oh exciting! i hate that feeling of stepping in cat vomit... in the dark.. and thinking "hey, why is the floor wet?" then discovering... "oh. that is why." hey maybe next year you will have a personal house servant to clean up your cat vomit for you!

Jane! said...

My week was pretty much just wall to wall cat vomit.
Lucky you.
Wait. Debbie Harry's still alive?

supah ~d said...

simaG link is posted... Freebie contest ends tonight .:)

d

Evil Twin's Wife said...

LOL. My life is even more pathetic. I don't even have cat vomit to step in anymore.

rpc said...

The advantage to us mere mortals who don't lead such a glamorous life is that we don't get brought back down to earth so rapidly since we never leave it.
I made one of my rare trips into the Big City this week, and didn't see anyone famous at all!
I did visit your Grand Central store and was delighted to find your Christmas ornaments on sale, so that I could stock up for next Christmas.

supah ~d said...

You are so funny. :) lol... I too stepped in some sort of spewage a few days ago. Such a nice reminder of my true life. :)

xooxoxo
d
p.s. your contest is up and running

Shonda Little said...

Wow, you really do live a glamorous life. I love all those people. Well, except Debbi Harry, I don't know just who that is. But, I bet I would totally worship her anyways.

Debbie said...

Thystle gets all the damn attention. And it's just not fair. But am I bitter? Yes.
I was also jealous of you and Sheree having a little face-to-face time.
And your fancy evening does sound great up until the cat vomit.

Sabrae Carter said...

I think I've won the lottery in every country by now! lol

kwr221 said...

More details about PotteryGate?

jenx67 said...

you petted debby harry's dogs?!??! I'm so jealous. I've been practicing the Tide is High voice inflection for like, 25 years.