Friday, February 06, 2009

THe FiRST CuT iS THe DeePeST


ComplicatedBoy has carried a torch for G- since September. And by torch I mean a smoldering obsession and single minded fixation. He has loved her the way most of America's 12 year old girls love Nick Jonas: with an aching desire tempered with the knowledge that the object of their affections is most likely unobtainable-or in CBoy's case- just way out of his league.

G- meanwhile, carried a torch for J-, CBoy's best friend since nursery school. And by torch I mean a stick that she would chase J- around the playground with, in an attempt to get his attention. But J- had eyes only for his soccer ball.

Then one day, everything changed. G- sent CBoy a note. The note read: "I am kinda over J-. But act normal. Don't tell anyone. Not even your Mom or Dad. Lift this flap when you get home." And under the flap it read: "I Love You. P.S. Meet me by the slide."

It was Christmas in January for CBoy. His sneakers did did not touch the ground for almost two blissful weeks, during which time G- proclaimed that he was Her Best Friend, and allowed him to sit with her at lunchtime. She came over for a well-supervised playdate during which CBoy presented her with his Best Rock from his collection--a rose quartz, which she took and shoved in the pocket of her jeans.

The following week, she invited him to her house for an afternoon, and together they ground potpourri into oil and poured it into an empty spice bottle and labeled it COLOGNE. CBoy dutifully dabbed it behind his ears daily, and went to school smelling like rose petals and basil.

Then the wind changed. Despite the fact that another playdate was scheduled for today, CBoy sensed a cooling of G-'s affections at the beginning of this week. He was exiled from the lunch table, and ostracized at recess.

"Ignore her," Sexyhusbandomine advised.
"Confront her" I countered, "Ask her why she isn't being friendly anymore."
"Give her space-make her come to you" Sexyhusbandomine insisted.
"Go right up to her and tell her she is hurting your feelings" I said.

In the end, he did neither. Just continued to follow her around like a beaten puppy dog until she turned to him yesterday and told him she was "Back together with his best friend, J-."

"She hates me." He said tearfully last night before dinner.

"Don't worry" I said, "You still have a playdate with her Friday and we can talk through the whole thing and everyone can still be friends and it will all be fine."

"Women." Said Sexyhusbandomine in a disgusted tone.

I sent CBoy off to school with the promise that everything would work out this afternoon.

This morning, I received an email from G-s mother, who wrote that G- had decided she would rather have some "family time" this afternoon instead of coming over to our house.

I am meeting CBoy at the door to school with a pint of Hagen Daz and a copy of the Sleepless in Seattle video.

Women.

29 comments:

KAS said...

Aww, CBoy! You poor thing. Don't forget the box of Kleenexes, although if you get the Puffs with Vicks considering the time of year, it might be better.

The Kid's only two (not even) but I'm waiting for this day. I have a feeling that instead of Sleepless in Seattle, though, we'll be watching Wall-E.

Jennifer said...

Awww, poor CBoy and poor Mommy! This is the part of parenthood that really sucks. I hope everything is okay and the rest of the afternoon goes well. CBoy deserves that much.

Jane! said...

She sounds a little too fickle for our CBoy.
This is why you should never date before you're old enough to drink.

Maybe he should go with a soccer ball?

Mrs. B. Roth said...

My little 6 yr old has taken to walking his girl (space) friend home from school ... silly February emotions. Women really are evil, I should probably warn him before it's too late.

Kr√ęg said...

I think your husband was right. But it sounds like ultimately neither course would have worked.

What a sad day for the cboy.

Bj in Dallas said...

I say put a photo copy of her face on a soccer ball and take him to the park......

Dana said...

Poor Cboy. Take him to the movies, mom. Invite a friend other than J.

Or play Celene Dion and convince him that his heart will, indeed, go on.

Although I liked BJ's soccer ball idea...

OHN said...

Sadly, it is even harder on YOU when their heart breaks at 20!

Spatula said...

Aw, poor little studmuffin! If it makes him feel better, tell him a total stranger on the Internet called him a studmuffin. Or would that just make him need more therapy later?

Maybe he needs a movie with lots of 'sploding. That's what I would watch.

Nadine Hightower said...

Bless his baby heart...there will be others...unfortunatly.

Debra W said...

Oh Friend,

You know this is just getting you prepared for "THE TEENAGE YEARS"!!! The drama and the hormones...Buy stock in Hagen Daz, NOW.

Hugs,
Deb

Chandra said...

This kind of stuff seems to start earlier and earlier...the heartache these kids already feel at such a young age is perplexing.

My son is about the same age and THANKFULLY he hasn't hit that stage yet!

Question is...who's it harder on, you or him?

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Teach him a new word today: Trollop. He's too good for her anyway! Poor little man...

kwr221 said...

Awww, sniff.

I feel like I need a sympathy pint of Ben and Jerry's.

Poor kid.

Miss Thystle said...

you distract the teacher, I'll push her in a puddle. The wee bitch.

Debbie said...

That little tease needs to be taught a lesson. We need to do it now before she gets older. I don't like her at all.

le @ thirdontheright said...

Poo in her ....

Darling boy - aged four - got told this week by his best kindy girl buddy to 'go away and don't sit near me' ... should have seen his crumpled face ... I nearly hit her smirky face right there and then ... I blame the mother - she is a nutter - a glamour nude photographer ... oh really .. is there such a thing ....

my heart to cboy ... has he got an email so we can all send him virtural V day cards .... le xoxo

sheila said...

i predict that in a few years, G- will come around to what a sweet guy C-boy is. and you know what? then he gets to shrug her off. karma can be a bitch.

rpc said...

Why does life never have fairy tale endings?
Good idea le, can we send him E-cards?

rpc said...

Why does life never have fairy tale endings?
Good idea le, can we send him E-cards?

kwr221 said...

Did she give back the rock?

Anonymous said...

Ah the G spot...what a difficult place. Sorry CBoy!

Bx

Lo said...

I'm so sorry for CBoy. But long after he's over this, I suspect you'll still be hurting. It's a mom thing. To this day, I'm still mad at the girl who broke one of my young relative's hearts 15 years ago. The fact that he ultimately married her didn't make her nicer in my eyes. What can you say?

MizAngie said...

Awwwwww, MAN! I feel his pain...

GiGi said...

That stinks. I am convinced that ice cream can heal wounds, in time...with lots of it.

supah ~d said...

oh sweet boy...
:(

ughhhhhhhhh'

xoxox
d

blairspage said...

Poor boy! I hope he's doing better!

Hugs - Tiff

Megan said...

I would say something ugly about G, except that I'm the mother of two girls. Who will no doubt pull that kind of stuff....

(Look at G's mom, lying for her!)

jenx67 said...

le-me at her