Monday, February 09, 2009
WHaTS LoVe GoT To Do WiTH iT?
Thank you, blog peeps, for your support of CBoy in the wake of his broken heart. I can only tell you that this weekend he broke one of the cardinal rules of post-breakup behavior. He went to the barber with his father where he decided to cut his hair. ALL OF IT. OFF. It now looks like I gave birth to a mini-Marine. I believe I did this myself once while in college. I don't know where I got the idea (between renting my garments and keening) that chopping at my locks would show that boy who done me wrong a thing or too; because it didn't. All I ended up with was a broken heart and really bad hair. Ah well: hearts will heal, hair will grow.
Speaking of hearts on the mend: my friend Gina recently separated from her husband and in a moment of weakness that involved a full bottle of Chardonnay, signed up for Match dot com. She said that after a short bio and 35 bucks, her mailbox began to fill with messages from all over the country--many with subject lines such as "Willing to Relocate For Love" or "God Sent Me To You" or "Satisfy You Long Time." (I keep telling her that the last one is Spam but she says she's been trying to wink at its author anyway.)
One of her more recent meetings online went fairly well. He was a journalism professor, very nice & funny. After an enjoyable session of IMing back and forth, he asked her to text him, and when she did, he asked if she wanted to see a 'goodnight photo' of him. She replied: "Sure, if I can also show it to my mother, who is here visiting." He texted back just two words: NEVER MIND, and was never heard from again.
She had an actual date with another "match" named Jeff-who won her over by including a glass of wine in his profile picture. She met him at a bar and spent the first two hours talking to the side of his face: the man would not turn to look at her the entire time, just sat beside her chain smoking and slamming draft beer. Three margaritas later, she asked him if he had eaten, because she was starving. "Nope," he replied, "I eat just one meal a day and then I drink beer for dinner." WHAT A CATCH.
On another note: please send pictures for this week's Caption This Photo contest to me at L V Mud at a o l dot com, but please make sure the people in the pictures are wearing clothes. Unless you have a candid of Johnny Depp. I will announce last week's winner on Wednesday and feature a photo sent in by a reader. So get those pictures out of the camera and send them my way: my children are refusing to do anything funny like sit in a garbage can or wear underwear on their heads: I need help.