Tuesday, April 07, 2009

CLeaRiNG THe DeSKToP



Good Morning, Chickens.

Very random things today, in an effort to clear some of my back logged mail.

1. Alex the Multi Millionaire (see post below) emailed me! For reals! I wrote him back and told him all about my single friend BJ and how she is a Dallas Working Mom, with three dogs, and describes herself as a Chardonnay drinking Democrat, loves Cozumel, who hates the song "The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald" , Would only buy sushi to fish with and she doesn't fish, Is a pretty great cook, and has a glass which is always more than half full. She doesn't have much time for people with half empty leaky glasses. Her favorite saying is "Be a fountain, not a drain.

Then, for good measure, I put a picture of the Thystle's rack. Because I thought it sweetened the deal, and because there were so many fine choices to pick from on Google Images.

Then, I asked for his address.

He hasn't replied.

What's Up With That?

2. Caption this photo for a chance to win a $5.00 Starbucks gift card. Thanks to Tracey for submitting it.
ref="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_JuuPGAckXv4/SdtdP_zhBmI/AAAAAAAAAXY/O2fE2qaBymg/s1600-h/100_4689.jpg">

3. Some of the funniest captions will probably come from KREG. Who is this man with the sharp wit and potty mouth? Here is a video of him singing a little ditty he wrote. That's a beer stein I made sitting on his keyboard. It says "Drink Up, There's People In China Who are Sober." He says he drinks water out of it. Same way I use a wine glass for applejuice.


4. After you watch the video and write your caption, head over to Thystle's place and tell her HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! She is an AGELESS BEAUTY. At least, that's her story and she's sticking to it.

5. What's up with the anonymous commentors leaving comments like this:

a片

av女優

洪爺

OBVIOUSLY I AM A BIG DEAL IN JAPAN. Me and Hillary Duff. You should see them go crazy for us bothwhen we land in Tokyo.



6. The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
Superior, they say, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early.
Some PEOPLE don't know a MASTERPIECE OF STAGGERING GENIUS when they hear one on AM radio.

33 comments:

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

Google translator says that the Japanese is:
a piece
av actress &
hong grandfather

All I can say is... 何が地獄か?

Bj in Dallas said...

re- # 6. I think I just threw up a little. At least I didn't hear the 'dead man' singing it...but the words are still painful.


re- Kreg- he needs more than a mug. I'm just sayin....

re- my friends told me that in Coz I kept telling them to "Drink Up Shriners" when it was time to go...I don't remember. Make that a mug..

re- the zilloinaire. Thank you in advance for my future husband and future. He just doesn't know what a package he is getting.

re- I'm done
must go work, while I still have a job and pray for a stimulus package to arrive in my mailbox.

LYGUTS LV
Bj

Ruby said...

Thystle's rack will surely make Alex drool, email you back, and then drool some more. Heads up, BJ, you *may* need to do some quick augmentation before your first date! (Actually, I have no idea if you do or not. Please post a pic of your rack posthaste.)

Maybe the anonymous comments are in Chinese, and they are telling you that they, in fact, ARE NOT sober?

Bj in Dallas said...

ps maybe it was from a Hung Grandfather....

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

Caption:

"I'm questioning the benefits of this whole 'puberty' thing."

Have a great day.

Krëg said...

あごひげを生やした男Doritoesのにおい

Krëg said...

Similar to how football players put black patches under their eyes to reduce glare, Kevin didn't want the sun to blind his mouth.

Krëg said...

It all started innocently, with Keith just sniffing a marker...

Krëg said...

"I don't care if you can tell it's fake, it still looks better than Joaquin Phoenix's beard!"

Krëg said...

If they had known how much he would come to love and "groom" his Sharpie-beard, Kyle's friends would have never have drawn on him that night he passed out.

sheila said...

On behalf of all of BJ's girlfriends in Dallas I thank you for the new guy. I love it when the boyfriends/husbands can pick up the bar tab. You're a good friend Lorrie!!

Krëg said...

You should see his tits.

Krëg said...

"At least he quit drawing cocks on his forehead..."

kwr221 said...

It's important to have a well-groomed 'stache

Krëg said...

For Kurt's 23rd birthday party, someone hired the worst Chuck Norris impersonator I've ever seen.

Krëg said...

Kent found that people tended to hold him out of favor if he colored in any more than just the beard.

Krëg said...

This Bee Gees tribute band might be better than the originals.

Krëg said...

"No, that was some other guy to whom you just sold three boxes of pseudoephedrine. But since you mention it, I doneed three boxes of pseudoephedrine."

Krëg said...

Side effect may include nausea, insomnia, marker-beard, diarrhea, crazy eyes, and sneer-face.

Nadine Hightower said...

I had an arab leave me a comment once on MSN ...it translated to him loving my feet. But that doesn't come close to Hung grandfather....I'm so jealous.

Jane! said...

I'm just frickin speechless. No idea why. I think you just overloaded my intake devices. I'm going to Thystle's.

Chandra said...

Say what...this one is bringing all the crazies out!

Love the randomness...I think I need some randomness in my life, you know, just to spice it up a little.(PS Is that even a word?)

Mambinki said...

WOW!

(that's all I've got).

kwr221 said...

"What ees dis aw-ful smell? Pee-you, mon ami"


Re: kreg's video - are we going to see you on AI anytime soon?

How old are you, Kreg?

Debbie said...

After I read Kreg's about Joaquin, I just gave up. Send him the card. The man is genius.
And I don't know what is wrong with you people and your drinking containers. I use a two liter pitcher to drink my wine out of. Go bigger - not smaller. I would use a nice pottery one but after about 1/2, I'm prone to breakage.

Bj in Dallas said...

kreg needs a coupon for condoms, not coffee.......
he hates Starbucks!

----- Jennifer ----- said...

your blog is good good good

pgwfolc said...

Not sure if this will work quite as well in plain text, but...

"Ahoy there! What's a pirate's favorite marker? Sharrrrrpie!"

"Wait a minute... what do you mean my new insta-beard isn't washable?"

"Little brother? Come here, little brother. I have two very important things to teach you. First, never pull a prank on your big brother if you're not prepared to deal with retaliation. Second, and this is very important... I am... ah... ah... ah... *aaaaaaachoooo* allergic to magic marker!!"

Felicia Kramer said...

Lorrie, you are a very funny lady! I too hate that "wreck" song - no, I DESPISE it!

zakary said...

Kreg's gonna be mad if he gets that godforsaken giftcard. I would just send him porn instead.

Or Doritos.

Miss Thystle said...

Won't we all be broken hearted when I don't have such an amazing rack anymore? What will we blog about?

jenX67 said...

"obviously i'm a big deal in japan..." so funny.

YOU'RE A BIG DEAL IN OKLAHOMA.

I see your stuff everywhere.

Racie Lover said...

Excuse me, but if you look back at the original "Millionaire" blog I beleive I suggested BJ would be perfect for him. Not that it matters, but it might if they do eventually hook up, get married and assuming there's no pre-nup she can spend what she wants on herself and her closest friends (hello, remember me?). If Mel Gibson and his wife didn't have a pre-nup why should the rest of us?