Monday, April 20, 2009

Do A DeaR




Dear Scale,




What did I ever do to you-- to have you torment me this way? Things cannot continue like this if you plan to go on living in a corner of my bathroom. I will drop you like a hot potato if you continue to blatantly LIE to me like you did this morning.

I'm serious. Cut it out.

Love,
Me



Dear Ass,



Why do you continue to get bigger? Why couldn't you have stopped growing at age 17--you were the perfect size then--more apple than the pumpkin you've become.

Now I have to drag you everywhere.

Signed,
Me


Dear Brain,




I know it is Monday but please do not explode.

There's enough sticky stuff all over my keyboard as it is.

Love,
Me

Dear Spawn,





I'm not that sad that Spring Break is over.

Signed
Your Mean Mom


Dear Chickens,

I know you are wondering where that promised slide show is. Coming pretty soon--honest. Just waiting for jane kreg zak BJ Johnny Depp the slackers to send their photos in.

It will be good.
Love,
Me


Dear Sexyhusbandomine,



Please find the time tonight between cooking dinner and taking care of our Spawn and giving me foot rubs to make the slideshow for my blog. You might get lucky later. then again: there is a new episode of Desperate Housewives on TIVO, so maybe not.

Love you anyway!
Love
Me

15 comments:

Jane! said...

Jane did HER part.
I'm just glad to discover that I am not the only slacker.

Next time: REAL pictures of Sexyhusbandoyours, please. I think it's the least we deserve for enduring 92 self-inflicted flash photos of our sleepy selves enjoying our Muddmugs.

Debbie said...

I need to write some letters to some of my body parts. Oh I forgot. I'm not speaking to them anymore. Traitors.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

Dear Self,
Please remember to paint a smiley
face on my head tomorrow so that when I return to work after this spring break people will not notice that I am still sleeping.
And make sure that when I frown it looks as though I've just given them one of those grins where I flash my teeth and they do that sparkling thing like in the commercials. I want to look good.
Thank you.

Jennifer said...

That one about Spring Break being over is the best. My daughter just started hers and I'm thinking "Really? An entire week?" It's not good that it's only Monday and I already feel this way.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Today was my oldest child's first day back after break! It's been a good day! :-)

OHN said...

Could you not find a photo without hairy ankles?

Chandra said...

Dear Mudd,
I am one of the slackers...I will get my photo to you tonight.

Love,
The biggest slacker

:)

Racie Lover said...

My hair and I haven't spoken for approx 10 years now, ever since it decided to stop growing and turn salt and pepper-ish. I disowned my thighs back in high school and my derriere (sp?) and I became estranged when it stopped trying to ward off Mr Gravity and gave in. I feel your pain.

Btw, for those of us who got our photos in on time how about that slide show already? Do we have to wait around for certain people to get with the program. Times up, people!

rpc said...

I think that your scale has been talking to my scale. Why do they do that to us?

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

I love Desperate Housewives but last night's episode sucked. Majorly. You need to find your inner tween and join in on some Gossip Girl goodness.

zakary said...

Agghh, alright, alright. I will have a shot emailed over to you in the a.m.

(Sorry, I meant to do it on Friday, but I was to busy playing Dukes of Hazzard with my car.)

Miss Thystle said...

Dear god, please tell me those are not Lorrie's real feets in the scale picture, because EW. Love, Your most wayward daughter, Thystle

Kr√ęg said...

I'm fairly certain I emailed you a photo late Friday/Early Saturday. I know because I still have grease burns from the event.
Although, I think I emailed it to you, and not your hubby.

jenX67 said...

hahahahaha. that note to spawn was hysterical. i feel your pain. i love these random posts with all these different pictures!!

le @ thirdontheright said...

you seem to have my scales - you can keep them ... lying, torture device that they are le xoxo