Monday, July 06, 2009

BeDTiMe SToRY


I walked into the boudoire at Chez Veasey the other night, to find Sexyhusbandomine propped up amongst the pillows with a copy of LADIES HOME JOURNAL that I had picked up at some airport on previous travels.

Let me start by saying that SHOM does not usually read magazines before bed. He prefers to peruse his printed glossies in the powder room. Usually for A LONG TIME, when we are late or trying to go someplace.

He was previously reading snatches of THE SECRETbefore drifting off to LaLaLand, but ComplicatedBoy stole his bedside copy three days ago, convinced that it contained some Naughty Adult Secret.

But back to Sexyhusbandomine, flipping pages in the glow of our bedside lamp.

ME: What are you reading?
SHOM: Ladies Home Journal. It's actually pretty good.
ME; Oh yeah?
SHOM: Yeah. Like I just read about a former model who got Cushings Disease. It caused her to gain seventy pounds and sprout hair on her chin.
ME: Hmmm. I could have that. What are the symptoms?
SHOM: You gain 70 pounds and grow hair on your chin. (Awkward Pause) It goes on to say she dedicated her life to helping animals.
ME: What else did you read?
SHOM: Here's a woman in her 40s who lost 50 pounds. (Holds up magazine.) Hey-where are you going?
ME; I am signing you up for a subscription to Popular Mechanics.

14 comments:

Jen said...

Yeah. Popular Mechanics would be a good choice.

Miss Thystle said...

wait, my symptoms are caused by an actual disease, not just being lazy and over 30? SCORE!

The Girl You Don't Bring Home to Momma said...

Priceless !!!

Bj in Dallas said...

Bout time.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

I like Allure. Mainly because of the articles. Okay maybe it's the title. No...I'm pretty sure it's the articles. Or maybe it's the title and the articles. Nah, it's just the title.

Zakary said...

I too suffer from Cushings.

Tell your husband thank you.

OHN said...

When will SHOM be discharged from the hospital? ;)

Kr√ęg said...

Classic.

Debbie said...

Ah, marital bliss. You just can't beat it.

jenX said...

wait'll he starts reading your favorite blogs and asking, "who is this kreg guy?" haha! and, then one day he'll annouce "i want to blog." guess what about? FINANCES. and, Winston Churchill.

Definitely top 10 blog in the making.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

jenX said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chandra said...

Hey, your husband self diagnosed a whole lotta women by reading that article! I too suffer from the disease...it's nice to know I can turn to helping animals when I'm at my lowest! LOL!

Popular Mechnics...I would go for Maxim Magazine...great read for your husband as well as you...:)

soulmoxie said...

Thank god it wasn't glamour and he was taking the quizzes. It's all downhill from there.

Spatula said...

At least you intervened before he got to the section that taught him how to have good sex with a man.