Monday, August 31, 2009
My CHiLD aND DRuGS
Sexyhusbandomine and I went to a very crunchy birthing class, and at one meeting, while we sat around in a circle over which hung a cloud of patrouli, we were asked to describe our birthing plans. The first woman talked about how she wanted to have a home birth, the second wanted a natural water birth,and the third wanted to just squat right down in the woods. When it was finally my turn I put my non-Berkenstock wearing foot in my mouth and said that what I most wanted was... DRUGS. DRUGS DRUGS and oh... LOTS OF DRUGS. And so CBoy began life with Mommy tripped out, and humming Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds in the delivery room. For a brief moment, I considered naming him Chet, after my dear, dear friend perco-chet. I still miss him.
When Cboy was a baby and had colic, we discovered after we got it home that we had bought a homeopathic remedy that contained Belladonna--a known posion. Like a good Mommy and Daddy, we tossed it into the trash bin...where six hours later, Sexyhusbandomine dug around trying to find it while I screamed over the screaming baby: BRING. ME. THE. POISON. NOW.
I have been known to hang out in the bathroom offering free samples of Benedryl during cold season to runny nosed children. "Just a toot to get you through the night" I say to The Spawn. "it's not like you'll end up doing Robutussin..."
Bananna was born with carsickness and let me tell you: when your child pukes EVERY SINGLE TIME you start a road trip and your pediatrician tells you you can't give Dramamine until they are two years old--you would celebrate that birthday at CVS pharmacy too.
Last week CBoy was diagnosed with ADHD. When we originally went in for testing, we were all: There is No Way we would EVAH consider medication. I went so far as to google "glutin free diet"before I came to my senses.
A LOT of people will have A LOT of opinions about medicating a child. As for me: I am so grateful that medication exists that may help ComplicatedBoy become..well... a little less complicated.