Thursday, September 24, 2009
Thanks for your patience as I return to the regular Circus Act of juggling bowling balls, otherwise known as my Real Life. Bowling balls that are ON FIRE.
We had The Best Trip EVAH to Disneyland-which was practically empty because all the kids with Responsible Parents were in school. Miss Thystle will probably be bragging about her jaunt to the Bahamas on her blog--but I'll bet SHE didn't get Buzz Lightyear's autograph or eat a waffle that was shaped like a mouse. Good times, Chickens, good times.
There are some who scoff at the wonder that is Walt's World. They use big words like "consumerism" and "fakety fake fake." Not I. I LOVE THE KINGDOM. I buy into the whole Disney Mystique-I mean, according to my credit card receipts, I REALLY buy into it.
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but in addition to almond shaped eyes and large front teeth, ComplicatedBoy inherited his Anxiety Disorder from me. Our first day at the Magic Kingdom, he was a bundle of nerves-vowing he would not go NEAR a ride that moved any faster than Cinderella's Merry Go Round. He expressed a fear of drowning on IT'S A SMALL WORLD, and of catching rabies after getting a hug from Chip and Dale. The kid was a nervous wreck.
We walked by THE SWORD IN THE STONE--which was a bronze statue of a sword in a stone, with the appropriate plaque about being true of heart and brave of spirit and yada yada. CBoy pulled at it. Nothing happened. The Banana pulled and pulled. Nothing happened. Sexyhusbandomine grunted and sweated and that sword stayed in that stone. And just as we were all set to leave and head towards Adventureland, CBoy took a deep breath and made one final attempt and MY GAWD THE SWORD RAISED RIGHT UP OUT OF THAT STONE! All chrystal and shining and amazing and jeepers cripes honey hand me the freeking camera and then before we could catch a second breath, the sword sunk back into that stone.
And so we spent the next half an hour and two subsequent returns trying to get that dern sword to rise from the stone again-which it Never Did. We searched for hidden buttons, secret cameras, sneaky Disney employees--we still Do Not Know How in The Heck CBoy pulled that sword out.
But CBoy knew.
" It was because I found my Courage inside" I SWEAR TO GAWD he actually said, cue violins, cue misty eyes.
O Walt Disney i wish i could kiss you on your cryogenically frozen lips.
And then my friends, CBoy lead us to Pirates of the Caribbean and even THE HAUNTED MANSION. Never in the past eight years did I think we would end up spinning through a cemetery together, laughing happily at fears that were now laid to rest.
It was ..well..it was magic.