Sunday, September 20, 2009


Thanks for playing folks! Random winners are:
3, 10, 17, 24, 38, 46, 50 and 100.


kwr221 said...

Welcome back - sooo, do we have to count them ourselves?

Lin said...

Woohoo..I won!

I was #3 :)

I had a ton of fun, hope your trip went well!

Blue said...

Part 1 of 4

One fine morning in a land far away, with BACON FRYING in the pan, Lorrie BURNT her toast and the SMOKE set off the fire alarm in her building.
As she and the other tenants were evacuating, she glanced in the MIRRORS at her REFLECTION. “Hmm. I could use some MOISTURIZER to SMOOTH out those WRINKLES that SUCK years off my youthful face” she thought to herself.

Since she couldn’t get back into her building right away, she went to the local diner with a breakfast bar to have some EGGS, SCRAMBLED with HAM. While waiting to be seated, she stepped into the restroom, but immediately exited with a revolted look on her face. Upon seeing her, the manager said “is something the matter, miss?”
“Yes,” she replied. “The bathroom sink is filled with VOMIT, PHLEGM and CIGARETTES! Whoever was in there last must be close to DEATH.”
Grateful not to be living a LIFE of cleaning diner bathrooms, Lorrie finished her meal and requested her bill. The manager had written her a note at the bottom, and the first SENTENCE in the PARAGRAPH caught her eye.
“I read your awesome BLOG LORRIE, and am a big fan of Our Name Is MUD POTTERY. Thanks for dining with us today!” and then she noticed he’d picked up her tab. She WHEELed aROUND to thank him, but he was no longer in sight.

Outside a ROBIN caught her eye, followed by a BLUEBIRD and a NEST. The nest was EMPTY, but she noticed that someone had put a a UNICORN sticker on the side of it. In the distance she heard a cacophony of HORNS BUGLES and TRUMPETS playing a rousing FANFARE. “BLIMEY! It’s an ENGLISH holiday today. I should have had a MUFFIN from the BREAKFAST BAR instead of that BACON or PORK in my EGGS.”

As it was close to EASTER, Lorrie’s mind was focused on thoughts of new life, and fertility, eggs, SPERM, LOVE, and all that. “Maybe SHOM whould be willing to have another child. We could name him BENEDICT, and he would win all our HEARTS,” she mused to herself. “After all, I am the QUEEN of mud. And SHOM enjoys digging around with his SPADES. Maybe it’s in the CARDS that we have another child, and he’s just been putting on his POKERFACE when we’ve discussed it in the past.

As she wandered through the park amidst ACNE faced TEENAGERS who were chatting about their personal AWESOMENESS, she remembered when she was their age and had gone on VACATION to DISNEYWORLD. “That MONEY PIT had to have put my parents into a deep CREVASSE of DEBT,” she thought. “Getting out of debt is like waiting for a GLACIER to melt, or for light to penetrate a deep CAVE filled with STALAGMITES. But I sure loved the smell of the WATER, and the ICE CREAM we ate at the park. And that was the first time I ever tried COFFEE, too.” she remembered. Her BREATH had been so bad that her TOOTHBRUSH hadn’t made a dent in it the next MORNING, as she got up early to watch the SUNRISE on the BEACH. “SUNSHINE in New York doesn’t require you to put on SUNSCREEN everywhere, including your TUSHIE”, she reflected. “Ahh childhood. LARGE LIVIN’ is what it felt like to me.”

Blue said...

Part 2 of 4

That night, Kip took Lorrie DANCING under the STARS at a concert in the park. It was a strangely clear night, and they could see NEBULA and the MILKY-WAY in the sky above. Eating SNICKERS, Kip had to suppress a GIGGLE when the COMMEDIAN doing STANDUP LAY-DOWN on stage and pantomimed the SEX PISTOLS composing their MUSIC. He was personally more a fan of the SYMPHONY, and JAZZ, and BITTERSWEET PIANO music, but Lorrie had always had a thing for iconic English punk rock. And CHOCOLATE. HEAVENs, it was an utter embarrassment that her favorite teams were the ANGELS, the DODGERS, and the RANGERS. Didn’t she know how TAXing it was for him to be married to a turncoat?! What next? Would she be pestering him to join the TEABAGGERS? Just thinking of that made Kip need a cup of COFFEE, preferably HAWAIIAN. When he’d worked at a bar, his favorite drink had been PINEAPPLE COCONUT RUM. These days he stuck mostly to COKE, PEPSI, LEMON LIME, TONIC or SELTZER with it’s tiny BUBBLES to ease his mind of his TROUBLES and WOES.

You see, Kip OWES the CONFUSED BLONDE at the office an apology. He’s guilty of labeling her with the STEREOTYPE blondes usually end up with. But how could he help it when she tried to use the RADIO in his office to play 8-TRACK tapes?! Didn’t she know that was an ANTIQUATED technology? And then there was the pressure for NEW BABIES. Kip was a SOFT HEARTED fellow, and he LOVED LORRIE, but he didn’t feel like anyone was ABSENT from the their little family. It was all he could do to help the kids get to school when they MISSED their BUS. And frankly, he would rather take a JETBLUE VACATION to AUSTRALIA and see MARSUPIALS with their babies in POUCHES than have another child of his own. Cause, honestly, he didn’t have PURSES filled with MONEY laying around. He worried a lot about BANKRUPTCY and becoming DESTITUTE. So far they had been FORTUNATE. I mean, they’d even celebrated their anniversary with CHAMPAGNE till they were both a little bit TIPSY (though the VERTIGO when he woke up the next morning wasn’t fun.)

Sometimes it felt like they lived life on the edge of a PRECIPICE, with so many CHOICES and OPTIONS before them. For a time he’d gotten involved in TRADING, followed by selling CARS. Later he’d processed claims from ACCIDENTS for an INSURANCE company. This led to an interest in PROTECTION of oneself with a GUN, and he’d attended a convention in Tokyo where he’d ridden the BULLET TRAIN across the entire country of JAPAN, stopping at SUSHI bars and sampling LOBSTER and other delicacies brought in from ocean and lake FISHING by the champion BASSMASTER. He’d also met up with a man who had a BOAT who was an excellent TRACKER that offered his services as a SNIPER, especially if there was a BOUNTY REWARD on the line.
“My EFFORT, EXERTION and WORK PLAY a huge part in my success” he’d told Kip. The man had a SHAKESPEARE-esque face, was BALD on top, and made Kip very uncomfortable.
“Uh, thanks very much, but it’s ALREAY LATE. Way past my BEDTIME. I’ve had bad INSOMNIA since crossing so many time zones. I mean, even reading the BIBLE on SUNDAY couldn’t put me to sleep” Kip replied

Blue said...

Part 3 of 4

After returning from the that trip, Kip gathered his FAMILY for a PICNIC in the PARK. As they ate near the DUCKS UNDER the COVER of the old trestle bridge, he thought about different career options.
“How about a SPY?” Lorrie asked him.
“Nah. They get too FAT. And it takes a lot of EFFORT. I want something with LESS HOMEWORK. Being a spy is NOTME.”
MALLARD FEATHERS DOWNY-soft enough to be used in PILLOWS floated by them on the breeze as they watched their children play near the monument to the FORGOTTEN SOLDIERS. Banana collected FLOWERS and chased a BUTTERFLY while building tiny houses under the trees. “They’re for the FAERIES and ELVES in the FORESTS of MIRKWOOD” she explained to her brother, who rolled his eyes and chased her across the field. “I will have your RING in my POWER” he yelled after her as she ran to her mom for safety.

“Hey, why don’t we ROW across the lake to that CORN FIELD over there” Lorrie proposed to distract them. But Kip protested, and the kids followed his lead. “You’re all such FLAKES” Lorrie told them.
“ I know” Kip countered. “Why don’t we stop by the shop on the corner and get some CADBURYS!”
“What are Cadburys? The kids asked.
“They’re delicious chocolates from ENGLAND. Home of the YORKSHIRE TERRIER, LABRADOR RETRIEVER and the first COURIER PIDGEON.” Kip stammered, ignoring Lorrie’s skeptical look, and the bicycle COURRIER barreling towards him on the path.
As he swerved, some papers including a NEWSPAPER, a PUBLICATION highlighting new medical RESEARCH and a REPORT on crime fell out of the courier’s satchel. There had been a lot of COVERAGE PAINTing a portrait of the RENOVATION of the FACELIFT industry, and how UNNECESSARY and FRIVOLOUS these procedures were. Even FASHION MODELs were spending thousands of dollars, traveling on PLANEs, enduring TRAVEL and SICKNESS ranging from PNEUMONIA which were treated with ANTIBIOTICS, to viral INFECTIONS. There were some doctors who tried to claim IMMUNITY from prosecution when results were unsatisfactory, but ended up going to JAIL.
“I feel like that BUBBLE BOY from the 70’S” said one botched facelift patient. “I just sit here all day listening to DISCO and other MUSIC. It’s the only thing that REACHES me these days.” she said.

While Kip read the report, Lorrie watched C-boy climb up the playground LADDER and tried to make out his BABEL from a distance. “He sounds like a FISH talking under water” she said to Kip.
“If you need a TRANSLATION, I can loan you my mini TARDIS machine” he thoughtfully offered.
“No, I’d rather just know if you UNDERSTOOD him” Lorrie replied.
“He said that he was using the power from that LIGHTBULB to become a SHINING KNIGHT on the giant CHESSBOARD over there”.
“Oh, so now he’s ROYALTY and we must treat him as such.”

Blue said...

Part 4 of 4

“He’s just practicing making up stories so that when he becomes a published AUTHOR he’ll be able to enjoy RESIDUALS from at least TWENTYTWO different countries.” Kip explained.
“Remember when we were young NEWLYWEDS and we’d have those long conversations about PYTHAGORAS and MYSTICISM. And we tried FORETELLING or PROPHESYING about our future?” Lorrie asked Kip.
“Yeah, they were about as accurate as TRELAWNEY’s POTTER prophesies.
“Would you have ever predicted how our lives would turn out?” LORRIE asked. But Kip didn’t hear her, because some AWESOME FIREWORKS started up in the area, and the NOISE and CHAOS from them created so much BACKGROUND interference that conversation was effectively ended.
After the show, they led the kids home like ZOMBIES who had escaped the other CORPSEs at the MORTUARY. Lorrie was dead tired herself, but imagine her delight when she walked into their home and saw a beautiful bouquet of FLOWERS and was greeted by the smell of perfectly cooked BACON.

“Life is Good!”, she thought.

kwr221 said...

damn@! Brilliant!
I bow to Blue.

OHN said...

I think I won! WOOT. If I counted right, I am #10. So do I get to come to NYC and pick up a prize ;)

rpc said...

I think that Blue is trying for extra prizes, even though she already won most of them by my counting. She deserves it!

Jen said...

I'm too lazy to go back and count to see if I won.

PearlsOfSomething said...

Crap! I got bumped out by anonymous Chinese symbols!

Blue said...

wait, i won a prize?!

i had to attend the WORD ASSOCIATION 12-STEP PROGRAM meting last night, so i actually hadn't checked. my mentor in the program said one of the steps is to NOT OPEN THAT PAGE EVER AGAIN, because i was truly obsessed. it's a really good thing it ended when it did; i hadn't eaten all weekend, my children were wandering in the streets begging for food, and my husband left me for a woman who can control herself. but at least i had fun, right?!

Lorrie, how do you come up with these interesting social experiments? ♥

rpc said...

They gave me a 39 step program. It is going to be a very long recovery.

Blue's children are wandering the streets. My 13 year old son caught me obsessing over the computer screen in the final few hours - then he also got corrupted. I wouldn't let him enter his own words, but every time I tore myself away he called me back because somebody else had entered a word.

Bj in Dallas said...

I think we all know now who has a little Zombie/Blogger in them!!

Bj in Dallas said...

Ok, so I counted. And I counted EACH entry, whether it was a double, a comment removed, or a comment without a word
38, 46, 50-Blue

anyone else get the same?

rpc said...

I'm happy with BJ's counting because that means that I get a FABULOUS prize.

Nadine Hightower said...

damn it...I did not.

Blue said...

wait...i actually WON?! Me? ME! MI MI MI ME ME!!!????
Ohhh, this is a happiness boost I didn't anticipate. My therapist and 12-Step mentor will be so thrilled for me.

Lorrie Veasey said...

LOL BLUE!!! I need you to come help me with my child's vocabulary homework every week! We struggle to make 10 sentences from 10 words and look at what you have done with hundreds!!!! Either you are major genius or you need to see a Freudian therapist so you can play in real life, lol. thanks to you and Ruth and all the gals who made that game so much fun to read when I got back.

BJ seems right about the winners- email me at l v mu d (at) a o l to claim your prizes. i am buried in return email but will be back to the blog at some point. You guys rock!!

kwr221 said...

wow, BJ, I'm impressed. I tried to count 3 times and got different posts each time.

well.... not for the first 4 obviously,

Blue said...

Wait, BJ in Dallas, were you just posting my measurements? cause 38-46-50 is pretty close.

Daniel said...

Lorrie, did I see correctly last night? I was watching ep.1 of Castle, Season 2, and I do believe Detective Beckett was holding a green coffee mug, rather large, with black spots that said "Innocent Baby" or maybe "Innocent Babe"...? Does that sound familiar to you? I was pretty stoked ;)

You can see it in the beginning of the episode here:
Congratulations, I say!!

kwr221 said...

it said "Innocent Bystander"!

Miss Thystle said...

312 comments on the bacon post? I LOVE YOUR READERS. And? I love bacon.

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Daniel said...

kwr221: Aha! Awesome. I loved seeing it on that show. It just seemed to fit so well. Thanks for the clarification ;)

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