Wednesday, October 28, 2009

RoCK o LoVe

So I am walking along the street yesterday, lost in thought, pushing one of those smallish shopping carts (which is how busy New York Moms get their grocery shopping done on the way home from work) when it starts to dawn on me that the avenue appears to be deserted. I look to my right--NO ONE. I look to my left--NO ONE. Wait....except for Brett Michaels from the band Poison and VH1 Reality show fame, walking down the street beside me about an arm's length away. Looking very tan, wearing a white cowboy hat and signature bandanna and some low slung bell bottom jeans. We finish walking the deserted block together and as we approach the end of it I realize that I am walking straight into a large group of camera people and young interns with laminated badges around their necks. One approaches me with a clipboard and asks me to sign a release. It seems that I somehow got past the three Assistant Directors they had stationed a block back, and that I will now be appearing in the show that they are filming. I look down at the release, and realize that the young girl with the walkie talkie has filled the form in above my signature and she has written: MIDDLE AGED WOMAN WITH SHOPPING CART.

I Could. Not. Be. Prouder.

Who knows--perhaps I'll do a cameo on Charm School in the future.

P.S. Another Kreg sighting!! This one in Boston! From Scrappin Jenny


Miss Thystle said...

that description makes you sound homeless! And middle aged? OH HELLS NO. I hope you signed it in a properly indignant fashion!

Bj in Dallas said...

I find Brett Michaels disgusting, so maybe you and your shopping cart will class him up a bit.

I'm suprised he didn't try to have sex with you while you were walking down the street.


or did he?

wv: stializ
the name of the antibiotic you must take after having sex with Brett Michaels

Jen said...

I'm sorry, but I'm laughing so hard right now. That was just wrong...

OHN said...

That is hysterical. Not the middle aged part, but the part where you were walking alone down the street with him.

I am surprised you weren't on TMZ last night identified as his new chick ;)

Nadine Hightower said...

OMG!!OMG!!! She's jumping up and down!!!! OMG!!!!!!

Can I touch you?

In a totally non-lesbian way???

Honestly though how many times does he need to find love?? Why don't they just call it, Flavor of the Week Club??

Sheila said...

I'm with BJ - I'm surprised he didn't try to pick you up.

And did you kick the girl with the laminated badge before you signed the release?

Chandra said... just goes to show how 'real' these reality shoes are, right. They had the sidewalk 'cleared'...hmmm.

ROFL!! I think that's hysterical. I can't stand that show (is it possible that every year they get sleezier girls?) but I will be on the lookout for big ROCK STAR!!!

Krëg said...

Middle Aged Woman With Shopping cart was the name of my new wave band in the late 80s. We were even more terrible than Mr. Michaels.

And why do I get the feeling (just from looking at that photo) that most of those women want to be on television more than they want to be on Brett Michaels?

WV: curant
I am not up on curant events, and so I can't fathom why Brett Michaels is still on television.

ZDub said...

You totally need to get Kreg to photoshop you in that picture with Mr. Michaels.

You should have slammed the clipboard to the ground and screamed, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM!"


Rachael said...

Methinks Bret Michaels is middle aged too - whether he admits it or not!

P.S. I saw Poison in concert when I was 16. I thought he was pretty awesome back then. So, even though he's turned into a gross caricature of himself - I'd probably still have been starstruck if I'd passed him on the street. Go Lorrie!

jenX said...

ugh. you just reminded me of a man i dated after my divorce. i was in my early 30s. he was close to 50 and had teenage daughters. their dad was nearly 50 and they still thought i was old.

rpc said...

Oh these youngsters who think that anyone over the age of 25 is middle aged! Having met you I know that you aren't a day over 26.

Anonymous said...

That is totally how you should sign everything from now on.

"Middle Aged Woman With Shopping Cart*

*As seen on TV's Rock Of Love!"

And hey... two more appearances like that and you get your SAG card, right?

I just wonder why he didn't...

Oh, right. Probably saw your wedding ring. That's decent of him.

3carnations said...

That's awesome. Let us know when it will be airing. For that, I would watch. :-)

Baylee and Blair's page said...

This man is too hot for words! I can't believe you were walking RIGHT NEXT to him! Freaking awesome!

Hugs - Tiff

Krëg said...

Here you go. I fixed that picture.

The Fabulous Sheree Burlington said...

Ya shoulda popped the little twit. "Psycho middle aged woman with shopping cart." Now that's a title.

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