Thursday, October 01, 2009
THe ToP THRee
Top three reasons for not blogging or visiting YOUR blog this week:
1. The Banana has a cold--the kind of cold that makes the space between her upper lip and her nostrils an angry and perpetually wet shade of red. The kind of cold that has you waking up in the middle of the night wondering if an errant basset hound has found its way into your apartment and is making that annoying barking-cough noise. The kind of cold that makes the following ACTUAL & TRUE exchange we had in the bathroom yesterday morning that much more horrific:
BANANA: Mommy, do you use (cough, sniffle, cough) your tongue cleaner on your toothbrush much?
ME: No, not really.
BANANA: I Do. ALL THE TIME.
At which point it dawns on me that her shocking pink electric Barbie toothbrush doesn't come with a tongue cleaner, and as I look down at my own brush clutched in my hand, I realize she means MY TOOTHBRUSH. When a disgusted look passes over my face, she shrugs and says "What? You said when I was in your tummy we shared everything."
I must make time to buy a new toothbrush, chickens.
2. I use AOL. It is a version of aol that arrived to me via pony express in a tin can, FOR FREE about ten years ago. It is THE BEST email program ever invented--they even stuck a guy into it that tells you that "You've Got Mail". Well, this weekend nine years worth of email addresses and contact info just POOF disappeared from my address book and file cabinet. One minute they were there and all my stalking info was at my fingertips, next minute blank screen. The AOL man should have said "You've Been F@#$Cked." So we had to call the kind customer service people in India and run virus scans, etc. and long story short a nice AOL rep named Dan retrieved my data for me, but I had to RE ENTER IT BY HAND. 702 email contacts alone.
And chickens, some of that info was so out dated that I had dead people in my address book, I am not kidding. Apparently there IS a virus that can get into your mail even if you have a MAC. I don't know how I caught it-I did not share my tongue cleaner with anyone on the internets. I just know that going forward when I see those MAC/PC commercials, I am always going to be imagining the cute MAC guy has crabs.
3. It is 57 degrees here in New Yawk and I just sent the Spawn to school--again--in shorts & crocs because I cannot find the box of Fall/Winter clothing that I know I put away so carefully last year. You will find me this weekend at Tar-jay.
Perhaps next week shall be better.