Thursday, October 01, 2009

THe ToP THRee


Top three reasons for not blogging or visiting YOUR blog this week:

1. The Banana has a cold--the kind of cold that makes the space between her upper lip and her nostrils an angry and perpetually wet shade of red. The kind of cold that has you waking up in the middle of the night wondering if an errant basset hound has found its way into your apartment and is making that annoying barking-cough noise. The kind of cold that makes the following ACTUAL & TRUE exchange we had in the bathroom yesterday morning that much more horrific:

BANANA: Mommy, do you use (cough, sniffle, cough) your tongue cleaner on your toothbrush much?
ME: No, not really.
BANANA: I Do. ALL THE TIME.

At which point it dawns on me that her shocking pink electric Barbie toothbrush doesn't come with a tongue cleaner, and as I look down at my own brush clutched in my hand, I realize she means MY TOOTHBRUSH. When a disgusted look passes over my face, she shrugs and says "What? You said when I was in your tummy we shared everything."

I must make time to buy a new toothbrush, chickens.







2. I use AOL. It is a version of aol that arrived to me via pony express in a tin can, FOR FREE about ten years ago. It is THE BEST email program ever invented--they even stuck a guy into it that tells you that "You've Got Mail". Well, this weekend nine years worth of email addresses and contact info just POOF disappeared from my address book and file cabinet. One minute they were there and all my stalking info was at my fingertips, next minute blank screen. The AOL man should have said "You've Been F@#$Cked." So we had to call the kind customer service people in India and run virus scans, etc. and long story short a nice AOL rep named Dan retrieved my data for me, but I had to RE ENTER IT BY HAND. 702 email contacts alone.

And chickens, some of that info was so out dated that I had dead people in my address book, I am not kidding. Apparently there IS a virus that can get into your mail even if you have a MAC. I don't know how I caught it-I did not share my tongue cleaner with anyone on the internets. I just know that going forward when I see those MAC/PC commercials, I am always going to be imagining the cute MAC guy has crabs.







3. It is 57 degrees here in New Yawk and I just sent the Spawn to school--again--in shorts & crocs because I cannot find the box of Fall/Winter clothing that I know I put away so carefully last year. You will find me this weekend at Tar-jay.

Perhaps next week shall be better.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lin said...

Yep, those are some pretty good reasons not to have checked your blog.

Wow, 57 degrees? It's been about 86 here in CA & I'm praying for rain, ha ha. The whole toothbrush thing is cute & yet so gross.

PearlsOfSomething said...

The kid's got a point. Mine shared his puke with me yesterday. Such a sweetheart!

Jen said...

I love that conversation with Banana. Kids are so awesome, don't you think?

Jen said...

By the way...it's 53 here in Massachusetts. I'm breaking out the Uggs big time.

Bj in Dallas said...

we could only wear our Uggs with shorts right now, however, a coldfront TEXAS style is on its way and we will cool down to 78.

Thats why I live here.

Rinse EVERYONES toothbrush in Hydrogen Peroxide (per my Pediatrician) when there is a cold in the house.

you're welcome.

WV:Untsay

when you take back what you just said

Blue said...

you wouldn't know since you've been down in sector nine all week and not on facebook or my blog, but we went from 86 and sunny gorgeousness to SNOW in less than 12 hours. which isn't my favorite thing.

i'm coming to new york next week. and i'm going to see you at some point. we need to nail it down my lady. let me know if you have any open slots in your life. unless you contract banana's condition...in which case i'll just wave from across the street at ya.

i had Justin Long on a flight once. he'd apparently just broken up with Drew Barrymore, so if i were single i might have had a chance of hooking up with him. i noticed that he ensured a safe flight for all of us with the traditional Catholic prayer during takeoff, which i always appreciate.

hope you escape pneumonia! ♥

WV: AGYNC
All Green Yams Need Chlorophyll

Miss Thystle said...

Cheer up! At least she wasn't using it to brush the cat's teeth or something.

WV: Plato

I could so eat a big plato bacon right now.

Chandra said...

All good reasons not to check your blog or Blog about anything at all except the blog you just wrote to tell us YOU ARE GOING TO GET SICK..yep...no doubt about it. It truly sounds like something my kid would do to me..you know share the love!
We've been dipping down into the low 40's here in the mornings...I still send my kid in shorts..I'm such a bad Mom! :)

I am Trish Marie said...

My kid wears shorts and dresses all winter long. Of course, we live in Houston, Texas, so winter = anything below 80 degrees.

OHN said...

Therein lies the conflict in a mothers heart. One side wants to protect and nurture, the other wants to strangle.

I ditto the hydrogen peroxide decootie program. Yuk. Just yuk.

kwr221 said...

I'm a little oogy about toothbrush sharing. ALthough I have a double standard. I don't like my husband or my son using my toothbrish. ever. Yes, I know my husband and I share other stuff, thankyouverymuch, but NOT my toothbrush. My daughter, on the other hand, has a smaller, cuter, cleaner mouth and it wouldns me out as much.

I'm lazy, so I put the toothbrushes in the dishwasher.

I have a mac, so :::sticking fingers in ears:::: lalalalalalala and I have AOL.

It's chilly here, too. But it's every man for themselves. Survival of the fittest. No sweatshirt, no problem. Just do't complain.

Do they even *have Tar-jay in NYC?

Geesh, for all this typing, I could've written on my own blog.

Soon, I hope.

WV: feapeedu

feapeedu and ladidah!

Kathy B! said...

I'm happy to say it is not yet that chilly in NC! I'm not ready to whip out the winter clothes yet!!

Krëg said...

AOL? You do realize that years now start with the number 2, don't you? And that there ARE alternatives to AOL? You should take advantage of this deleted contacts snafu to get a Gmail account, since you have to re-enter everything by hand anyway.

Is that what the rubber thing on the back of my toothbrush is for? And here I've been using it to clean in between my toes.

VW: talick
I like talick other people's toothbrushes.

rpc said...

I've given up on buying winter clothing for my son. He insists on wearing shorts and t-shirt all winter. I get the occasional nasty phone call from school - one of these days they will surely lock me away for child abuse.

WV: nomenden - ladies only

rpc said...

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! My fabulous prize arrived - I love it! My teenage daughter immediately commandeered it on the grounds that I had neglected her whilst feeding my word addiction.

goodeda1122 said...

自慰套,真愛密碼,
自慰套,自慰器,充氣娃娃,
性感丁字褲,AV,按摩棒,電動按摩棒,情趣按摩棒,
角色扮演,吊帶襪,丁字褲,飛機杯,
按摩棒,變頻跳蛋,跳蛋,無線跳蛋,G點,
潤滑液,SM,情趣內衣,內衣,性感內衣,
情趣用品,情趣,