Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I aM I SaiD

Happy Wednesday Chickens!


I just finished reading

One Sentence Review: Third book in a series about a girl who is hit by lightening and as a result is able to find dead people so she travels the country with her stepbrother who she has a romantic relationship with and they solve crimes and in all three books the bad guy is the innocuous character that appears in the second chapter that doesn't really do a lot but because so much is written about him/her you just know who did it sorry if I ruined these for you.


As you can see by my Google Analytics, and the fact that comments left by people like BJ and Kreg are often a million times more entertaining than my posts, I have been pretty much laying off the sauce. But fear not dear readers. I have been learning a lot from Dr. Drew and plan to relapse in a few weeks.


The Spawn have been hogging the CD player lately. ComplicatedBoy was given The Best of Michael Jackson album by Santa, who didn't realize it would lead to incessant performances of Billie Jean while CBoy calls out "Hey Mom- watch me grab my crotch! You're not looking Mom! Really, watch me grab my crotch and walk backwards! Mom, watch me grab my crotch and go up on my toes! Mom- Can I get Jazz shoes?"

Banana, on the other hand, was given a true instrument of torture from Homeland Security. It is a CD on which the cartoon character Dora the Explorer sings a selection of tunes from the '80s. My fellow Mommies will give me big props for sitting through" Vamanos! Celebrate Good Times Come On!" sung in a high pitched nails on a blackboard voice. It's enough to wish Swiper would swipe the CD.

So at work I am driving everybody crazy with obtuse tribute albums. Like the Maowbi Chorus sings U2 in Swahili. Or Bruce Springsteen's greatest hits played on bells.


I was watching Banana play a computer game the other day HERE This is a game where if you pack your bag, the computer will tell you your PURSE-anality!! I am watching Banana go through her selections,putting make up, cell phone and tissues into her virtual pocket book when she clicks on an icon and asks me What Is Birth Control? Because apparently Japanese Animae characters never leave home without it.

But as far as TV goes, I love A & E's show HOARDERS. I actually said to Sexyhusbandomine that if I had to choose a different profession, I would like to be one of those professional organizers that goes into a person's house and makes it all clean (except i wouldn't ask them if they WANTED to keep the used paper napkin I would just throw their precious items away, cuz that's how I roll as a housecleaner) . Sexyhusbandomine took a look around at our current state of affairs in Chez Veasey and gave a dismissive snort -because apparently I am LIVING in an episode of Hoarders, but whatever.


The trick where you wrap a rubber band around the botton on your jeans, thread it through the opening and back around the button. Brings me right back to the good old days of maternity jeans. ELASTIC WAISTBANDS. Let's bring them back in style, people.

reading, drinking, listening to, watching and loving?


Miss Thystle said...

I. love. Hoarders. Seriously.

I really like the guy from Cluttercleaners because he's all 'this is trash. we're throwing it away' and then the crazy person starts sobbing about how precious that toilet paper tube is AND HE THROWS IT AWAY ANYWAY. Because, hello? Yuck. IF A GOAT IS EATING YOUR HOUSE, you MIGHT look into that. Just saying.

Also, I am watching Better off Ted, which is the funniest show on TV right now next to Modern Family, which I also watch. I hope Katy Segal guest stars at some point.

I am drinking.

I am listening to the Timbaland CD because I have a sickness.

And you didn't ask, but I'm eating Two Bite Triple Fudge Cakes. Which are as good as sex, only you don't need to shower afterwards and instead of pregnant you're just going to get fat. Which is fine, because fat is totally in.


When the hoarders team comes to my house, they're going to have to ungue the bottom of my fridge.

Krëg said...

Neil Diamond title. Nice.

I've actually been into the home of a hoarder before. It's pretty heartbreaking and terrible. Her insurance would no longer cover her home because of the hazard created by the hoarded clutter (fire, rodents, cleanliness/hygienic concerns). But lack of insurance was the LEAST of her worries.

We'd discussed handcuffing her to a fire plug while we emptied her house with a snow shovel and a dump truck. We figured it was better than her mortgage holder foreclosing due lack of insurability, but were shouted down by friends who said our plan was too cruel.

Reading the chicken bones
Drinking plenty of fluids
Listening to the voices in my head
Watching my life pass me by
Loving the ride

WV: salia
Tom rubbed his tongue over Linda's salia until she quivered.

Jen said...

Reading: The Lightning Thief. I know this is for kids, but I just finished Outlander by Diana Gabaldon and it almost killed me. I needed something light that I would have to think too much about.

Drinking: Nothing at the moment, but I'm dreaming about a nice Pinot Noir.

Listening to: I can't seem to get enough of Ke$hia singing Tic Tok, which, incidentally, Zakary used the first line of the song as the subject of her post. Which I loved.

Watching: I love Modern Family. With all my heart. And my husband finds it HYSTERICAL that the character I relate to the most is the overweight homosexual.

Loving: My new camera. I'm thinking of having an affair with it.

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

Reading cereal boxes, drinking gallons of diet dr pepper - daily, listening to talk radio at work right now - because its the only freaking thing I can get here at the prison, pissed that I'm not watching Gossip Girl - WHERE ARE YOU GG!?!? And loving you.

Debbie said...

If you are having to listen to Dora, then why aren't you drinking?
And I caught Hoarders two weeks ago for the first time and was hooked!

rpc said...

Reading: The boy who harnessed the wind. One word review - fascinating.

Drinking: Yes please, I thought you'd never ask. It must be the right time of day somewhere in the world.

Listening to: my daughter's violin practice.

Watching: I do most of my watching via Netflix. The drawback is that I'm way behind everybody else. I'm still waiting for the two latest episodes of Dr. Who to be available. My kids watch it online, but my aged eyes don't see well enough for that.

Loving: Keeping warm and thoughts of summer.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

I'm reading Breathless by Dean Koontz.
Drinking a 20oz 7up. I think it's flat because I am on day 3 and I still have half of it left.
Listening to the news.
Watching the news.
I'm loving this eclair my wife just gave me.

Lo said...

Reading articles about Haiti and mysteries because they're, well, mysterious. Drinking way too much coffee. Listening to James Blunt and Five for Fighting. Watching "The Good Wife" and wishing "Monk" was not kaput. And loving Beaux and the girls and the fact that our insurance got better.
How's that for life in a flash? Thanks for the holiday thoughts. I've been the world's worst blogger and friend. Cheers.

WV: todstult
Todstult the sammich I was going to snarf for lunch.

Erin Butson said...

Reading: Your blog andlaughing myself out of my chair. Lovethe word crotch. Could you try to use it more?!?

Rachael said...

I borrowed this idea for a post.

I always get a kick out of your one-sentence book reviews, by the way. (It is thanks to you that I have never picked up "The Shack" - lol.)

kwr221 said...

lol at Kreg's WV

eda said...