Friday, February 25, 2011

Q



Q is for....QUESTIONS

Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paintsomewhere you have to touch it?

How can there be self-help “groups”?


If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?






If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?






Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

How did a fool and his money get together?

Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?



Say I freeze meat in January. The package has an expiration date of February. When I thaw it in June, why doesn't it remember immediately that it should have gone bad four months ago?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Image from Nrapture on Etsy

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

P is for...

Pants I will never wear:



I would also like to perform this public service message:
TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS.



And don't even get me started on how shirts are not dresses.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Oooooooooooooooo it's O


O is for OPTIMISM. I HOPE you will like this post. I pre-wrote it before skipping town and heading to Florida where I HOPE the weather is perfect and where I BELIEVE we will have a fantastic time. My sunglasses are half full people. Because if you change your mind you can change your life! (Although sometimes just a change of underwear is all you need to truly find happiness.)


Image from gabrielutasi.com


Image from savagechickens


image from motifake.com


image from whyismarko.com


Image from brainstuck.com


image from splendidandsound on Etsy




image from beanforest on etsy

So drink up Chickens. Because it really doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty. What matters is what time closing is and how much beer is on tap.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

N is for.....

NESTS. I just love them. Perhaps I was a bird in another life, still working out the karma from being forced from my comfy home. Here are some nests that I love:


Birds Nest Shoe Sculpture $225 from Mudgoddess


Empty Nest Photograph by Lucy Snowe Photography


Birds Nest headband by Nessie Designs


Bird Nest Locket Ring by Babyjewlz


Robins Nest Paperweight by TheSHabbychicCottage


Assemblage in Frame by The Vintage Dresser


Nest watercolor by JodyvanB


Birds Nest necklace by Grey Frog Designs


Mom's Nest by sjengraving

Ni is also for Nonnee. Nonnee is the mother bird to our family. Without her our nest would be a woven sphere of twigs and sticks, but with her it is a circle of love.

Monday, February 14, 2011

M is For...




MANY. Things that I Love. That start with M.

Like...METALICIOUS. My friend Stephanie makes the most incredible jewelry. Visit her shop and spend another of my favorite M things: Money.


Mumford and Sons. Love their Music. This whole album is awesome.


Milk. Without it, cereal would be inedible.



Marionettes. Actually, no. They creep me out. And you couldn't make them do the same sorts of things you had Barbie and Ken do without getting all their strings tangled.


M is for Mimes. When a mime gets arrested, do the police tell him he has the right to remain silent?



M is for Macrame. 2011 is the year that macrame makes a big comeback as people's craft of choice. Because who would not want to learn to make awesomeness like this:


I like meat, milkshakes and marching bands. I like macaroni, mice and markers.

New M word for you to use today: MAHOOSIVE: really, really big.

Happy Monday Chickens. What's your favorite M word?

Friday, February 11, 2011

L is for .....

LOVE! Valentines Day is just 3 days away, folks. Here are some of my picks for the 14th:

The Love Rat

EVERYONE likes flowers and jewelry, so you know the reaction you're gonna get. But what do you learn from it? Nothing at all. But give them something like a LOVE RAT, and you'll find out if they love you back in a split second. Just get down on one knee, say "Honey, I love you this much." And pull out a Love Rat. Watch her facial expressions. See if her mouth twitches. If she smiles and gives you a big hug, you'll know she loves you despite your awful taste in gifts. (If she vomits, that's usually a bad sign.) We know they're not your "normal" gift. But if she wanted a "normal" boyfriend, she'd be dating someone else. $6.50 at Stupid.com

Sexy Pillowcases

I don't know about you but I'd feel kind of weird having these on the bed when the six year old crawls in beside you because of a bad dream. $19.95 at Amazon.

His and Hers Tongue Scrapers

I'm not really sure I want to know more about tongue fur. $4.99 at perpetualkid.com

Best Smelling Cologne (Next to Old Spice)

Help your man smell like Pee Wee Herman in a darkened movie theater! $19.99 at perpetualkid.com

A sweet treat without the calories of chocolate

I'd like to add fruit to this. Or maybe some bacon. $5.99 at perpetualkid.com

Or, what every woman needs:

Their own personal stalker -- he comes with a restraining order! $8.50 at Our Name Is Mud

Happy VD Day everybody!