DISCLAIMER: This is not a political post. Seriously. I haven't cared about politics since Tina Fey ran for president awhile ago. It is certainly not political satire. Because I would have to understand an issue before I poked fun at it--all I know about Occupy Wall Street is that there are A LOT of people and too few bathrooms. Hey.... wait a second...
Recently, a new movement found its way from Wall Street to the Walls of Chez Veasey. OCCUPY OUR STREET is a movement of 1% of The Spawn in protest of the 99% of the elitist, capitalistic parental units who head up the household. The protest was started by The Banana in response to events in which Household Leaders could not locate several hundred miscellaneous toys that were said to have been Quote: "In a box we haven't unpacked yet from our move 8 months ago" Unquote.
One source was reported as saying that one toy in particular, a very large FUR REAL horse that went by the name of Butterscotch, was unceremoniously chopped into small furry pieces in the dead of night and then whisked away Pre Dawn by NYC sanitation. "We Dextered that thing" the Source (who may or may not have been drunk at the time, and may or may not have been Sexyhusbandomine) is reported as saying. "Put the body parts out in several black plastic trash bags. Butterscotch sleeps with the fishes now."
Protesters, which include The Banana and two cats, also voiced extreme displeasure at the disappearance of a dozen toys that were once included in a Happy Meal. "Those were really special," sobbed the only protester capable of human speech. "I can't remember what they were and they might have been broken, but they were the most important thing in the world to me. Along with my collection of tags that I made Mom cut out of my shirts because they itched and....heyyyyy....wait a second....where is my tag collection?"
Other demands on the part of the two legged protester include:
- A ban of all cheese in the household
- Later bedtime if something good is on Teen Nick
- Socks that do not have the line in them at the toes
All three protesters agree and call for MORE BACON.
We do not know how long OCCUPY OUR STREET will last, but we have a feeling once it becomes boring, that Banana will be back to occupying Sesame Street. Where 99% of the cookies are consumed by 1% of the monsters, the few prosper while others live in a garbage can, and wages at Mr. Hooper's store have been frozen since 1982.