Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The C Word

Wanna know what's REALLY scary about Halloween? Fifty Four days until CHRISTMAS. There, I said it.

The great joy I feel during the Holiday Season is tempered by the knowledge that this time of year divides people into Two Groups.

Those groups would be: People who love the movie It's A Wonderful Life, and People Who Don't.

(For you Capra Lovers, what I am about to say might be as blasphemous as comparing Rudolph to a juicy slab of venison. You might wanna just skip today's post and jump in on the comments on the Disco Bath post regarding Penis Puppetry. )

I HATE the movie It's a Wonderful Life. Which is why you can expect lots of blogs during December, because that is basically all they ever play on TV that month.

I know it is considered to be a heartwarming tale of sacrifice and redemption. A classic story about realizing what a difference one man can make in the lives of others. I know as the credits roll most of you feel warm and fuzzy.....whereas for me, when the bell finally rings I feel like I could come out of my corner swinging.

It Quite Simply.....PISSES ME OFF.

When George makes the STUPID, IDIOTIC mistake of entrusting drunk & loveable Uncle Billy with the Building & Loan's deposit, I cringe. Uncle Billy should have been fired months ago, and forced into rehab.

But it is the fact that Mr. Potter is able to steal that money AND GET AWAY WITH IT that just gets my knickers in a twist. Even the Grinch has to return what he took. It irks the heck out of me that that man is never punished on screen. I am sure there is a special place in Hell for the Mr. Potters of this world: but as a movie viewer, I need to see him burn.

Now, where did I put my pitchfork and torch?

Click here to watch a THIRTY SECOND version of Its A Wonderful Life re-enacted by Bunnies. (OK- copy and paste if a click doesn't work)


Tracy said...

I was feeling a little better until you reminded me how close Christmas is!

"Kids, this year mommy is letting you pay for her ambulance ride. Hope you like it!"


P.S. Loved the bunnies. That's all the fix I need :)

kwr221 said...

*Where do you find these things?

You know what's worse than that movie a gazillion times?

People who constantly remind you how little time there is to get your shit together for another holiday season.

Thanks. Really.

Bah Humbug.

Know why I love Halloween? Because I don't have to cook a huge dinner, clean my house and buy lots of presents. Candy is easy to buy.

I used to love Thanksgiving until my -inlaws (all of them) turned it into a gift-giving holiday. Easter, too.

Miss Thystle said...

In my head, I'm totally making out with you right now.

You know what my favorite Christmas movie is? Badder Santa. We watch that and Christmas Themed Midget Porn (where Santa and the Elves do X rated things to "Mrs Claus") every year after dinner. For reals. Except, last year, my dad was over, so we skipped Badder Santa. He's Mormon.

I'm inviting myself to Kristin's house for Turkey day, want to come? We can regift our T day gifts on Xmas and spend all the gift money we've been saving on pedicures and Coach bags for ourselves instead.

Lorrie Veasey said...

My Nonnee reads these comments and may have a few words for me about why my nice blog is suddenly full of penis posts and cyber lesbian sex comments.

My husband, on the other hand, would like to encourage you to write more. Hmmm.

Apologies to the entire state of Utah. Carry On People.

Jane! said...

Do you think they could make the ANTI-Wonderful Life so we can imagine our life without Dubya?
Oops, did I say something political?
At my house the C-word is not allowed until after T-day.

kwr221 said...

Thystle - come on over. Forget the turkey, I'm not cooking. Let's just have a lot of wine.

And you know what *that will lead to.


Spatula said...

I have never seen It's a Wonderful Life. I know it plays everywhere and all, but I just blanked it out of my universe somehow. Maybe I was a super-yogi in my former life.

I wish I could do the same with carols, shopping, too many social obligations to deal with, hordes of people on the subway everywhere, cold and sludge, and - GACK - office parties.

I hate Christmas.

TJ said...

I love Christmas, but I am so with you on the movie. One of my best friends is with a dance company and she is truly fabulous, but when I saw their production of Wonderful Life last year, it bored me to tears.

kwr221 said...

Hey Lorrie - How come you don't Twitter?

Miss Thystle said...

Yeah, Lorrie, why not? ALL THE COOL KIDS TWITTER.

zakary said...

I can't stand it either. I don't get it. At all.

kwr221 said...

Lorrie, you're COOL,aren't you?

Hey Thystle, YOU Twitter don't you?

kwr221 said...


Raise your hand if you Twitter.

Lorrie Veasey said...

I signed up for it BUT I DON

Just like that completely useless facebooky thingamabob.

Plus: I have a feeling this is similar to you suggesting I try crack for the first time.

kwr221 said...

Come on and PLAY with us! please?
we'll show you how.

kwr221 said...

Oh, FB is Fun. and yes, kind of like crack.

Just tell us what name you used when you signed up for Twitter and we'll help you.

Lorrie Veasey said...


kwr221 said...

okay, it's not Twittering, if you have no updates. I'm kwr221.


Racie Lover said...

How did we go from Jimmy Stewart and Lionel Barrymore to Twittering? Did I miss something while I was in the kitchen making myself a fresh V & T?

I like It's A Wonderful Life, btw. Here's why:

1) Excessive holiday drinking
2) Lots of sex: George gets Mary preggers the first chance he gets
3) George attempts suicide
4) George crashes his car
5) Zoe nearly dies of pneumonia
6) Lots of excessive drinking
7) Money laundering
8) Theft of school property
9) Accusations of embezzlement and bank fraud
10) Ongoing and unbridled holiday drinking

What's not to like about this movie? It's soaked through with alcohol, sex and violence?

Time for a fresh drink. Discuss amongst yourselves.

kwr221 said...

racie - I can't argue with your list, except for #3.

Bj in Dallas said...

maybe I don't want to live in the furthest connected all need a chaperone...and I need someone to do my laundry. while they send out my C Cards...while cleaning up after Tgiving...while I finish off the Halloween candy.

Bj in Dallas said...

oh, I looked at the Twitter thing, but that is one more crack habit that I just can't afford if I'm going to keep my real job.....
although I have really great thoughts to put on there ALL DAY LONG...

Lorrie Veasey said...

And you guys call me lazy when i try to have comment Monday. Jeeze.

Fe said...


I HATE It's a Wonderful Life. Luckily they don't play it here at Christmas (in Oz) but I have horrendous memories of living through 3 christmas seasons in your country where I would flick through all 1billion telly channels and it seemed as though they were ALL playing that same movie. Except for the ones that were showing re-runs of Jerry Springer.

Come on over! I can promise you an IAWL-free zone and a day too hot to bake a turkey.

And thanks for the nomination for the tea pot on Le's blog. I won! I won!

You're the bestest.


Lex the mom said...

I am so glad you stopped by my blog - I now have a sure fire place to get a really hearty laugh or a few!

The dysfunctions of the old days - they weren't considered as much back then.

Speaking of the C word - I totally thought this was going in a different direction. I am disappointed & relieved at the same time.

My kids are already working on their wish lists. Good thing grandma likes to buy them lots of stuff.

Le @ Third on the Right said...

Well girls - have you not been a busy bunch eh !!

No Wonderful Life here at xmas time - too damn hot !

And no I have not seen the movie ... my fav xmas movie is Clockwork Orange - it gives till you bleed ..

And when I saw C word I totally thought it was going to be a different subject area - was I the only one - you clever ms marketer ms lorrie ..

and BTW that SHOY is a little predicatble with his desire for the Thystle Chatter to comtinue ... a litle too 1980s maybe ...

and money theft ... a darling, sweet , honest friend - ceo of a small something or other - won't say for fear of IDing him - just lost the business $300k to a naughty on line gambling book keeper - in six weeks ... turns out she was a scap - booker too and made such real looking bank recs they fooled him and the auditor !! gotta admire that talent !!

and in closing - have you heard our govt is giving all us families a $1000 for each kid still of school age on Dec 2 - so we score $2k - that we have been instructed to go spend immediately to 'kick start' the economy (since someone at your palce wrecked it) !! who would have thought ... santa indeed - I did not believe till now :)

bay Lorrie - o girl :) le xx

Racie Lover said...

Kwr221, I beg to differ. George did attempt suicide in that he climbed up on the bridge and was going to jump into the roiling, icy waters. Just then Clarence the Angel jumped instead and George ended up saving him. Maybe it should be considered a pseudo-atempted suicide. A "pseudocide" if you will.

I may have watched that movie one too many times...

Sheila said...

So not a fan of that film, but you know which one I do love? A Christmas Story! They play that one to death too, usually on TNT or one of those channels with all the commercials. But that has the perfect amount of cynicism, sarcasm & humor to get me through the endless they play. And I never get bored with it.

JenX67 said...

I have NEVER watched this movie. I just can't bring myself to break the 41-year-cycle of never having seen it. I'm rebellious like that. LOL! Iappreciate your comments on my blog!!! My fan club is small, but brilliant. hahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

I have never seen it either!!! And like JenX, I dont ever plan to.

Tash said...

Hanging with this blog crew is like hanging with Julio down on the schoolyard only now the schoolyard kids are twittering about X-Mas/Wonderful Life stuff, dropping lesbian sex bombs and smoking crack. I dig it!

kwr221 said...

Oh, baby, you ain't seen nuthin' yet!

Kr√ęg said...

I'm with Sheila. A Christmas Story is WAAAAYY cooler than It's A Wonderful Life. Although, Wonderful Life by the Felice Brothers is pretty groovy.