Those of you who are fans of www.missthystle.com know that one of her very favorite things to blog about is her baby feeders, her boulders, her cantaloupes...Her Rack. Amongst other Questionable Images, Thystle has posted pictures of her rib bumpers straining to be freed from a $5 translucent Old Navy Tshirt, shown a close up of her devil's dumplings splattered with hot sauce from sloppy taco eating, and shared her jahoobies crammed into a violet lace bra. Not to be outdone by Miss Thystle, and in the interest of keeping all three of my male readers: I felt it was time to share a shot of my Berthas:
Why, Yes Virginia...THAT IS A CHRISTMAS SWEATER I AM WEARING. With Snowmen.
It is time for me to shatter the myths and rail against the prejudice surrounding these fine garments. It's time we stop making these knitted testaments to the Holiday Spirit the brunt of bad jokes and the focus of satirical office parties. It's time we tell Stacy and Clinton they are full of Reindeer Poop.
If you are still hiding in the closet along with a knitted garment that features Nutcrackers or Xmas Trees, I say: Come Out. There is no shame in your knitware adorned with beads, glitter, sequins or bells. No longer should you have to fear the taunts of insensitive people who say you look like a dorky 2nd grade substitute teacher.
We all know that wardrobe effects attitude. Just ask the people who work at Dressed For Success, who would not return my phone calls regarding this matter.
Decking the chesticles with a little cheer is all about The Awesome Spirit of Christmas. Slip into a little number with silver snowflakes and before you know it, you are spreading Good Tidings and Peace and Joy and making christmas cookies, and loving your neighbor. So I say unto my fellow man: don't hate on the Christmas Sweater. I have a Dream that One Day, wearing a Christmas Sweater will be considered a hip, ironic thing to do for people of all ages, races, and economic backgrounds. I say World Peace is just a Pointsetta Sweater Vest away.
Giveaway coming tonight-stay tuned