When I was six, I went over to Kimberly Johnson's house to see her NEW KITTENS. Mr. Johnson popped his head in while I was visiting, and told me that house rules required that I take a kitten home with me when I left. I was six and had not yet mastered the fine art of sarcasm. Kimberly helped me smuggle the brown striped one out in my pink windbreaker.
My mother was not a happy camper when she discovered the reason our dog had been barking for half an hour at the shoe box hidden in my closet. I told her Mr. Johnson MADE me take the kitten home, and she gave him the cold shoulder at the next annual neighborhood block party. But she let me keep it, and I named it Tigger, and loved it for the next twelve years until my mother called me between classes in college to tell me that she had had to put her down, and I wept like a baby through all of American History and Existential Literature.
That's today's story Chickens. Just a friendly reminder that next time a neighborhood kid comes over for a visit that you should watch what you say. Cause one smart ass remark can change the course of history.
Caption this photo to win a $5.00 Starbucks Gift Card! (Photo sent in by Carrie at Pearls Of Something.)
39 comments:
Andrew Lloyd Webber has an idea to update CATS by incorporating a baby vampire named Edward.
I'll kiss him and hug him and love him FOREVER
I am horrid at these bloody things! i refuse to do it.
me and sarah@soulmoxie both!
Someone please get this kid off me, he's biting my neck !
Birds & Cats... eeek! i can't do it either. Sorry :)
I am suppose to bite YOU. You are messing up the order of life.
I'm a tat wuver. I tant help it. o i wuv you kitty tat. I do! I do!
:::MWAH:::
or...
Do I get hazard pay for this?
Dis lolcat iz mine.
all mine.
:-)
nummy nummy Kit Kats are good!!
I'll hold him down, you get me the furry catnip mouse!
I love that pic. That's exactly what my poor cat has to put up with me.
OMG. I just typed the filthiest caption EVER. Then, I erased it because jokes about babies and oral pleasure are not appropriate.
And so, instead, I submit
Lestat's mother never let him have another pet after he turned Fluffy into a vampire, nom nom nom
I can haz catzburger?
Socks learned the hard way that there is a delicate line between expressing displeasure and being put down for mauling a toddler.
Some proposed sporting events were even too boring for the Olympics.
Although doctors frequently caution new parents to not overreact to a baby's every sniffle, barfing up half a cat is serious enough to warrant a trip to the pediatrician.
Here is the only non-X-rated screen grab from the world's worst porno.
"...and I think mom's been switching our milk!"
"You think it's bad now, Mittens? Wait till I can walk and work scissors!"
"Let's have a puking contest tomorrow!"
D-Con's new oversized glue traps work a little TOO well.
Wake up, Fluffy, please wake up! Daddy didn't know the gun was loaded.
It was difficult to tell exactly who the smell was coming from.
Katie's love for "Mu-Shu Pork" was cultivated at an early age.
A giant baby smothering a helpless kitty. Why does that remind of a model for U.S. foreign policy?
Why does Fluffy keep playing dead?
And this is when we realized we shouldn't have read Twilight to little Billy.
"Mama said I HAD to be good to the kitty....hehehe."
I'm terrible at these too, so I'll cop out and vote for Kreg's
"Socks learned the hard way that there is a delicate line between expressing displeasure and being put down for mauling a toddler."
because it almost made me spit out my wine. Don't worry, dears, I said ALMOST.
Lorrie, just send Kreg his Starbucks card. He earned it.
"when love goes terribly wrong", also...when I was four, my baby brother was born. I was beyond devasted, b/c I wanted a sister and my mom refused to take him back to the hospital to exchange him. so, i traded him to my neighbor for a puppy. I was in A LOT of trouble when my neighbors mom knocked on our door holding my baby brother...sad, but true.
Too funny! I <3 Kreg.
wow Kreg is a desperardo for the coffee eh !!
but just for you lorrie ....
When mum's / mom's boobie milk dried up little Jonnie was on the hunt for another source ....nothing or no one was safe.
This is what I have to put up with but I get to clean out her ice cream bowl later.
"Kitty Pillow"
Such a sweet picture. I just imagine how soft and warm that kitty is. You little tot just can't resist.
From the cats perspective, I would say, "Irresistible, I know."
Mr. Johnson (tee-hee! Mr. Johnson) is my kind of people. Terrorize small children into taking lavish care of cats! Yeah!
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