Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Be a WHaLe


Nonnee sent me this little gem so I can share it with you all.

Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer,do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia.

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist.

If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT? Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.

With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!

15 comments:

Jennifer said...

LOVE IT!!!!

rpc said...

Whenever someone tells that I should get into shape I remind them that round is a shape.

WV: banit - what we should do to a poster of a thin woman.

April said...

I totally saw this yesterday and started agreeing.

But then I remember that whales are some of the fittest creatures in the ocean and practically have NO fat in comparison to their body size. They also don't binge eat. And they always exercise. So I'd rather be a whale for THAT reason.

My favorite part is "Where is IT?" LOL!!!!

Mrs. B. Roth said...

Really good!

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

This was fantastic! Can I post it on my blog please? This wonderful message must be shared with everyone.

PS - I've been a fairly happy whale for a few years now. Although I resembled one many years ago, I've never wanted the life of a mermaid.

OHN said...

Whales of the world UNITE!

This is the best thing I have read in a really long time!

missamy said...

Amen!

Debbie said...

That's right! I'm a whale and darn proud of it.

Lo said...

Wonderful.

kwr221 said...

Yay!
I'll keep this in mind as I go back again this week to sample my cupcakes at my favorite new bakery!

And I'll pack my elastic waist shorts and caftan when I come stalk you this summer!

Creative Junkie said...

*clap clap clap clap*

Well said!

Sheila said...

That Nonnee is one smart lady & thanks for sharing. I've always felt a kinship to Shamu from SeaWorld -- now I know why!!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

What a great message. I love it.

Bj in Dallas said...

Hey LV,
Just got over here. I HAVE A JOB NOW DON'T CHA KNOW

Tell Nonnie thanks for sharing. Isn't this the truth? I met the most shallow, uninteresting woman that had a great body and I thought 'sweetie, I'd take my body attached to my personality over yours anyday"

so what I meant to say was
fuck those skinny bitches

General Viagra said...

It is a nice metaphor. Do you want to be an animal that doesn't exist or a majestic animal with great sexual life and it is loved by everybody?.