Tuesday, August 17, 2010


I spent last weekend surfing the internet and eating bon bons cleaning Chez Veasey from top to bottom because over the course of the summer, our abode has come to look a bit like an out-take from HOARDERS. It's all that packing and unpacking and packing and unpacking and packing and before you know it, THIS:

Turns into THIS:

Only mine is ten times worse. And involved a cat box. SexyHusbandoMine tries to be a help. Sometimes he takes my folded laundry and places it on top of my dresser and then tells me sweetly that he would have put it away except HE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE IT WENT. And everytime I cry and throw pans at his head bemoan the amount of work cleaning up after he and The Spawn involves, he suggest we get a HOUSECLEANER. At which point I always say no, because I know he is thinking:

And I'm thinking: no way is anybody getting into my house with the bathroom looking like that. Everyone knows that you have to clean up BEFORE you can get a cleaning lady. Sheesh. So I spent a romantic weekend with this guy:

And while dancing around the house to the music my children don't like when I play, I came across an alarming discovery in Complicated Boy's room. Faithful readers of this blog will remember that it was only last year when I stumbled upon my Maidenform bra tags carefully tucked away in his sock drawer. This time, I cleaned out a canvas bucket full of baseball cards, action figures, a thousand silly bands, and found this....

And I was all like WHAT THE HECK IS THIS IN MY CHILD'S ROOM AND WHY DOES IT SMELL FUNNY and I stood tapping my foot at the doorway until Sexyhusbandomine arrived home and I thrust it into his face and demanded he tell me WHAT IT WAS.

At which point Sexyhusbandomine very helpfully said that he didn't know what it was, but that if it was pot it was a real bummer because it had so many sticks in it.

Which is about as helpful as stacking the clothes on top of a dresser and saying you don't know where they go.

Anyhoo, turns out it is catnip. And part of a mad scientist experiment. Phew. Apparently catnip still gives a good buzz...even if there are a lot of sticks in it.


Jennifer said...

So it was a drug, of sorts, just not the one you thought...

Chandra said...

the majic eraser is THE cleaner to have, I love it! It's amazing whtat that little pad can do...Leave it to a bald guy to now how to make something shine, lol!

Logical Libby said...

I love the magic eraser. It's even cooler to use when I'm stoned.

Kr√ęg said...

Catnip. Man, I wish I'd have thought that fast when my mom found my mari...er...catnip when I was a kid.

WV: rameo
Porno meets Shakespeare in the new hit movie Rameo and Juggliet.

Simone said...

Too funny, I would have thought oregano.

OHN said...

Sexyhusbandomine just told you it was catnip so he wouldn't have to share.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

I think you are still safe from that kind of stuff for at least a couple more years (let's hope).
I am worried about my teenager. I'd have probably spun her head like a top and then asked questions later.

Anonymous said...

I've often wondered about Mr. Clean, ever since a conversation at college prompted by my walking around campus in a Mr. Clean costume for Halloween.

Watch the commercials. Here's a guy who breaks into married women's houses, does all the scut work for them, and lets them literally mop the floor with him. Then he's on the floor, and they walk all over him. With their high heels. And that's when he looks up their skirts and grins.

What the heck?

(For the record, that conversation took place back during that brief time when a guy wearing one earring could signal his sexual orientation by placing that earring in one ear or the other. And Mr. Clean's earring is in the straight ear.)

Some pitch for the product. But apparently it works, because a lot of people buy the bottles with his picture on them.

... And you were worried about your husband chasing after the maid.

kwr221 said...

No joke, Kreg, my son did smoke catnip @@

danette said...

"...if it was pot it was a real bummer because it had so many sticks in it."

that is one of the funniest blog lines I've ever read, and i read A LOT of blogs. so glad I found this one!

happy wednesday!