The Bad Wife

I am trapped in a never ending episode of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and I am Jane Seymour except without her good looks and English accent. And a plague has come to River City and we got Trouble-oh yes Trouble, right here in River City.

I can take the poor chilluns being sick--have learned to medicate them heavily with doses of bubble gum flavored pink stuff, then medicate myself heavily with pinot grigio flavored wine stuff. I have learned how to cope with various childhood illnesses, mastering such phrases as: "Yes, you can watch your 100th video" and "If you feel like you are going to throw up, remember DAD is your go-to guy." I have accepted that my life can at some points seem to go from cough to flu to sore throat to odd itchy rash to ear infection to I ate a piece of gum off the street because my brother dared me to and now my tummy doesn't feel too good Mommy. I have spent many a sleepless night in a cloud of Vicks Vapor and all my tissues are ANTI FREEKING VIRAL. I am no wuss.

But one thing brings me to my knees, makes me long to hop aboard the Magic Schoolbus and just drive off with Miss Frizzle and the gang and never come back. Except I know the Frizz would have planned a field trip into the mucus membranes of my dearly beloved.

Kip is sick. Oh wait, did I say sick? I meant to say ON HIS DEATH BED gasping for breath literally-sounding very much like what I imagine the moans of a menstruating whale might sound like. And I want to be the Better Half that makes him a hot toddy and brings him his slippers, but 85% of me for some reason wants to KICK HIS ASS every time he starts a coughing fit because it HURTS it HURTS SO MUCH and I HAVE A FEVER and COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH. Shush honey, I'm trying to watch American Idol here. Can you go have your pneumonia in the bedroom please???

I am surely going to hell, where I am sure I will meet Satan himself and he will have a touch of the flu and ask me to feel his forehead because he feels like he is burning up.

des formations imaginares

I received this Email from Victoria today and thought I would share it with you all.


I received this resume and letter from a guy in Cameroon who is interested in our accounting internship.

I double-clicked on the attachment thinking that it would be a resume, but it was another email, with a note, and the resume inside that. Obviously the guy had forwarded his resume after he'd had someone look at it. Since I speak French, I quickly read the note (with a couple of word assists from Charline) and had to laugh (and laugh and laugh!). Here's how it translates:

Salut Frero!

j'ai fini de traiter ton resume; Il y a des choses que j'ai ajoutees pour qu'il soit efficace. Essayes de le parcourir et dit moi si
quelque chose cloche. Concemant ton computer skills, renseigne toi sur les nouveaux logiciels que j'ai ajoute. Moi meme je ne
les maitrise pas. Mais en tant que comptable, ils doivent figurer dans ton resume. J'y ai aussi mis des formations imaginares,
car il le fallait pour que ta candidature soit credible.
Bye

Salomon

Hello, Brother!

I finished working over your resume; there are some things that I added so that it would be more effective. Try to run with it, and tell me if you see anything odd . Concerning your computer skills, learn a little bit about the new programs that I've added. Even I haven't mastered them. But if you want to get a job in accounting, they'll have to be included in your resume. I also put in some imaginary schooling - which has to be in there so that your candidacy seems credible.

Bye

Salomon

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY!

I received this lovely letter from a fan today:


The following message was sent from ournameismud.com by (name withheld by request proving I am really not such a bad person after all)
Hi. I love your products and stopped by the Grand Central Station store today, but was really taken aback to see "Jesus Juice" goblets displayed in the store window.
I asked the sales rep what Jesus Juice goblets were for, and he told me they were for wine.
Please tell me that this was just a dreadful mistake in judgement on the part of your buyers. If you are a Christian, there is nothing funny about Jesus Juice wine goblets. The wine offered the sacrament of the Holy Communion represents the Blood of Christ. If you are a believer, in taking the communion wine, you accept that you are drinking the blood of Christ. I don't think I've ever heard our Priest refer to the blood of Christ as "Jesus Juice". You would be doing millions of Christians in the region a service if you would remove this horrifingly offensive product from your store offerings.
Many thanks, (name removed)

So I wrote back:

Dear (name removed),

First-let me tell you a little joke: A Rabbi, a Priest, and a duck walk into a bar and....ok, maybe I'll save that one for later.

I am very sorry that our JESUS JUICE goblets offended you. Last month the "Mom, Dad, I'm Gaelic" mug had the Irish community up in arms. If we only made pottery that never danced up to the south side of edgy, well-that would make us Hallmark.

I don't know if any of the following products were still left in the window, or if a mass of Christians (Get it? That's a Catholic pun) gobbled them up, but we did also offer "Jesus Loves Me" mugs, Faith crosses, and a platter that read "This is the day the Lord hath made, Rejoice and be glad in it." The agnostics and atheists raised a rucus (damn them), I told them we are an equal opportunity offender.

Let me go on to say that I am a card carrying member of the "Millions of Christians" you refer to above. (My card happens to say "Jesus is Coming...Look Busy!"), but nonetheless, I have accepted Christ as my personal Savior and I have to disagree with you and say that JESUS JUICE is a tiny bit funny. A tiny bit. I know you say you haven't heard your Priest use the term, but let me just suggest that you don't look to Father Bob for lessons in humor--unless the title of his last sermon was "Have Faith even if you are slipping on Bananna Peels."

I know when I take communion that the grape juice in the cup is not ACTUALLY Christ's blood, or Mark Anthony and JLo would be up at the pulpit every week. Perhaps you may not have noticed that the words "JESUS JUICE" do not literally mean "THE BLOOD OF CHRIST." Last year I made a goblet that said "THE HOLY GRAIL"--for some reason readers of the DaVinci Code knew that it was NOT ACTUALLY the Holy Grail. Smart people, them. Even the ones that only saw the movie.

A common thread among all religions is love. And love can often be expressed through humor. To shut yourself off from humor and become Judy Judger is not what God wants for us all. He wants us to sit down at a table together, share a few laughs and drink some Jesus Juice.

Tonight, I will pray for forgiveness for being a Smartass, like I do everynight. And I will ask that the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, shows you the way to put the wonderful energy and intelligence you obviously posses and direct it towards making change in this word by railing against things that are ABSOLUTELY NOT FUNNY--like racism, bigotry, hate and war.

Now I need to go offend some serious Jewish people.

Love in Christ,
Lorrie

HAPPY EASTER!

When I was four years old I colored in this bunny picture and won the Citizen's Easter Coloring Contest. That's me with the blonde hairstyle (THAT I STILL HAVE TO THIS DAY) bottom row, to the left. I also won ADDITIONAL PRIZES and that's a picture of me on the bottom taking a check from the man.

I got an Easy Bake oven and a twenty five dollar check. And that, ladies and gentleman is how a commercial artist is born.

Company

Jesse: Mommy, how come Uncle Jeff doesn't want to play with us so much in the morning?

Me: Because Uncle Jeff stays out very late with his friends, so he needs to catch up on his sleep during the day.

Jesse: Oh. You mean he's nocturnal.

You say you want an evolution?

A WELL RESPECTED molecular biologist sent me this look at the future of human evolution.

WHO KNEW I WAS SO FREEKING ADVANCED?

It just so happens that I have extended buttocks! My arm and leg muscles are atrophied--or at least that's what I tell the trainer at the gym who requests I use them for more than moving food from plate to mouth, plate to mouth. My pupils are often enlarged. And who knew that what I have been calling my "jowls" were actually my very own detoxification pouches? Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Darwin.

The enlarged testicles just go without saying.

No one likes a smartass

So what many people don't know is that the Emails sent to FEEDBACK on this site go directly to my mailbox. Ordinarily, this is a good thing. I am usually all sweetness and light, and my customer service skills are legendary. But sometimes I don't know what happens. Maybe it's that I've overdosed on 100 calorie packs of oreos, the planets are not in alignment, or I lost hours of sleep because a child shared my bed and spent the night with his elbow in my left nostril. Maybe I'm trying to cut down on the hooch. Maybe it's a lunar cycle kind of thing. MAYBE I AM JUST A SMARTASS. And on days like that....well....let's just take a look at an actual Email interaction I had today:

The following message was sent from ournameismud.com by Aaron:
Just wanted to tell you that I bought two mugs at a store in Boston that sell your products: the yellow "betterhalf" and the red "princess". After a very short time the 'glaze' inside started to crack so once a week we had to feel it with bleach and then the exterior glaze started to fall. A big disappointment.

So I respond:

Hi Aaron!

1) We don't make a red Princess mug. We make a red Diva mug. Which is your better half?

2) Our mugs are made to be used and enjoyed daily: not to fill with bleach once a week. Aaron! What were you thinking??? How about taking them back to the store or sending them back to us for an exchange? We're thinking drinking from a mug with cracks that you have filled over and over with bleach might not be such a healthy thing.

3) Do you feel better now that you've sent this email or would you like us to do something about this?

Please email Dan@ournameismud.com for info about making a return.

Have a wonderful day,
OUR NAME IS MUD

Which is pretty tame, considering it is ME who is writing this Email. I mean; I let "feel with bleach" go, and I did not mention the need to put quotations around "glaze". This is no tongue lashing, Aaron my friend--it is a gentle little kitten lick compared to what could have come from my keyboard; especially if I had saved my reply for after one glass of pinot.

But does he thank me? No-Aaron writes:

Yes you're right. I'm colorblind and you seem to question my integrity.
Unless I have difficulties understanding your tone or sense of so called humor
or sarcasm ("Do you feel better now that you've sent this email").
The princess is kind of purple (?). The better half is yellow (?).
We rinse it in bleach to clean it from the coffee and tea stains concentrating
in the cracks of the glaze.
I'm from Israel. I bought it as a present to my wife and myself for our
anniversary day, in a store in Boston while on a scientific meeting I attended
in the US. So, I cannot "take it back to the store".
I also do not intend to ship it back and waste more money just to satisfy your
wariness.
You wish to be fair? To respect your own art and skill and expertise and name?
You can send me a pair of mugs one with "better half" or "princess" or "diva" or
"legend" or "She Who Must Be Obeyed" and one with "alpha male" or "role model"
or "handsome devil"
And have one satisfied and appreciative customer that could respect you.
You wish to make fun of me and mockery of yourselves than I'll be satisfied with
sending the mail and just spread among my friends your attitude.
==================================
Avivi Aaron, Ph.D
Associate Research Professor
Head, Laboratory of Animal Molecular Evolution
Institute of Evolution
University of Haifa
Mt. Carmael, Haifa 31905, Israel


Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. Have you ever read my blog? Most of your country already hates me for my bad attitude and you did not have to do a thing--it's because I AM A SMARTASS. So send my email to your friends--I will post the whole discourse here on my blog for my faithful readership of three. (One of which is my husband, Aaron, and I am guessing he could kick your little scientist butt--but I'll save the veiled threats for later.)

I am sure that being Head of the Laboratory of Animal Molecular Evolution is a VERY, VERY SERIOUS JOB. And maybe you are grouchy because you have to fiddle with animal DNA samples all day, and clone sheep and stuff like that. Or maybe you are frustrated because molecular evolution really just cannot be rushed. If I remember correctly from school, it took a heckuva long time to go from protozoa to invertebrate--so I feel for you Aaron, really I do.

But I feel we could be making many more advances in this world if the scientific community would activly seek A SENSE OF HUMOR. Really dude--things don't need to be so literal. Or black and white--I mean red and brown-I forgot you were colorblind.

And I am confused: do you want me to be your personal shopper and choose two mugs from your eight suggestions above or do you want eight to be ABSOLUTELY SURE that I respect my own art (thanks) and skill (thanks) and expertise (thanks again) and name (it's my husband's, actually).

And lastly; do I make a mockery of myself if I make fun of you? Oh Aaron, Aaron, Aaron...dontcha know I prefer crockery to mockery most days darlin?

PSA- Sea of People

The following is an email I received regarding an event known as Sea of People. And since i did my share of destroying the environment with several years of disposable diapers, I am passing the info along here:

Hello there-
I'm working with a number of local community, environmental, arts, and
civic orgs to organize a rally and human installation in Lower Manhattan
as part of the Step It Up 2007 National Day of Climate Action. Our event
is called the Sea of People, and it combines the dynamics of a mass rally
with the expressive power of an interactive artistic installation.
Following a noon rally at Battery Park (in front of Castle Clinton),
thousands of participants, dressed in blue, will stretch north in two
columns along the projected eastern and western 10 foot waterlines that
may one day redefine lower Manhattan under the ten-foot sea level rise
scenario.

Both lines will extend approximately one mile north from the
Battery--roughly to the World Trade Center site on the west side and
Hanover Square on the east. We estimate that a line of this length would
call for about 5,000 participants, and no less than 200 volunteers to help
coordinate its movement and formation. Therefore the need to execute
successful and broad outreach prior to the date will be of paramount
importance. Please see the attached 1-pager and press release for more
info.

Spread the word!
We're dropping you a line because we have we have immense respect for your
organization and hope that you'll be able to help us spread the word. To
get the numbers we need to really send a powerful message to our elected
officials, we need to rally the masses. I hope you'll help us drive
people to the event--especially your
members/customers/constituents!--whether by informing them in your blog or
newsletter, or by forwarding this note, the event's website (
www.seaofpeople.org) and attached info widely.

Volunteers Needed!
Please e-mail volunteers@seaofpeople.org if you are interested in
volunteering on April 14. More info about volunteering below.

The Details:
Sea of People Rally
for Step It Up 2007 National Day of Climate Action ( www.stepitup2007.org)
Saturday, April 14th
Noon
Battery Park (4/5 to Bowling Green; R/W to Whitehall St.; 1 to South Ferry)
www.seaofpeople.org
Free and open to the public

---
Volunteer Groups:
1- Arriving at 11am - 90 people to manage the participants as they form
the "sea of people"
2- Arriving at 9am - 80 people to assist with various tasks during the
rally (passing out banners, instructions, face-painting, etc.)
3- Arriving at 7am - 30 to help set up the park and banners on the "sea of
people" water-line
4- This isn't really a group, but we need as many of you as possible that
can stay at the end to help clean up… and we'll be doing some celebratin'
afterwards!

Please e-mail Volunteers@ seaofpeople.org if you are interested in
volunteering on April 14 with which group you'd like to be in. Also,
please note that all volunteers will need to attend a 2-hour training
session/orientation at Battery Park.

3 sessions available:
Sat. April 7, 10am-12pm
Sat. April 7, 2pm-4pm
Thurs. April 12, 6-8pm.


If you have any questions at all, please don't hesitate to contact me
here, or write to all the organizers at: info@seaofpeople.org. Thanks so
much for taking the time. We hope (and anticipate) that this will be a
truly landmark day in the history of our nation's climate change
discussion.

All best!
Sung Bin and the Sea of People Organizers

Cat & Mouse

Annie was watching Tom & Jerry this weekend and becoming increasingly upset. She pulled me close, and in a high pitched voice full of urgency, said: "JERRY IS REALLY, REALLY MEAN TO TOM, MOMMY!"

"Why do you think that is?" I asked.
"HE'S JUST A MEAN MOUSE! HE PLAYS TRICKS! JERRY ATE THE CHICKEN AND THEN HE PRETENNED THAT HE DIDN'T AND THE OLD LADY CAME HOME AND THEN TOM GOT IN TROUBLE BUT HE DIDN'T EAT THE CHICKEN AND IT IS NOT FAIR AND JERRY IS A VERY BAD MOUSE. I HATE JERRY MOMMY! WHY IS HE SO MEAN TO TOM?"

Oh the humanity. What would a good mom say here? Hmmm. Perhaps the truth?

"Tom wants to eat Jerry," I explained, "Cats eat mice."

"NO! TOM JUST WANTS TO HOLD JERRY!! IN HIS HANDS! HE JUST WANTS TO HOLD HIM! SOMETIMES HE JUST WANTS TO HOLD HIM IN HIS MOUTH! HE IS A GOOD CAT!"

Ok. Perhaps I should consult Wikipedia:

Because they seem to get along in some cartoon shorts (at least in the first minute or so), it is unclear why Tom chases Jerry so much, but some reasons given may include normal feline/mouse enmity, duty according to his owner, revenge, or competition with another cat, among other reasons.
Tom rarely succeeds in catching Jerry, mainly because of Jerry's craftiness and cunning abilities, but sometimes because of Tom's own stupidity. Tom usually beats Jerry when Jerry becomes the instigator or when he crosses some sort of line.
The shorts are famous for some of the most violent gags ever devised in theatrical animation: Jerry slicing Tom in half, Tom using everything from axes, pistols, dynamite, and poison to try to murder Jerry, Jerry stuffing Tom's tail in a waffle iron, plugging his tail into an electric socket, hitting him with a mace and so on. Despite all the violence, there is no blood or gore in any scenes.

Good to know.

Why do I think Kip and I should start worrying about the type of guy Annie may end up bringing home one day?

Annieism

Shopping with Annie. Passing the restrooms.

ANNIE: Mommy, what does that say?
ME: Men's Room. That's where Daddy and Jesse go.
ANNIE: What's that say?
ME: Women's room-that's where ladies go.
ANNIE: Where is my room?
ME: You would go to the Women's Room.
ANNIE: Oh No-I want my room to say "Angels."

Jesse's Mona Lisa

Does my kid have TALENT or what? This came home from school yesterday. I love the use of stencils to carefully write the phoenetically spelled words--it is very DAVID KRAMER-esque in a way-dontcha think?

Irrational Fears

I have several. In no particular order, they include:

1. PAN FIRES. You're happily cooking something in bacon grease, then woosh, a fireball appears. Inexplicably, I have had this fear since about the age of 14. I try to avoid frying at all costs, because in addition to fearing pan fires, I fear that if a pan fire actually DID occur that I would try to put it out with water--even though I know you are supposed to smother it. This fear causes me to keep a bag of flour close by anytime I am working on the stovetop. I need paxil before making the kids a burger.

2. GEL TRAYS. This is an irrational fear of someone trying to make a model of my underbite. Think huge, gag inducing plastic tray filled with something vile and gooey. I think this actually happened to me around age eleven when I got braces--but the memory is hazy and I'm not planning hypnotherapy anytime soon.

3. MY CHILDREN WILL CHOKE ON POPCORN. "Dad-can you rewind? Mom is standing in front of the t.v. telling us to eat one piece at a time again. And will ya make her move that Heimlich Maneuver poster out of the way too, please?"

4. SEA SNAKES. I don't actually know what type of water these things swim in, but MY GOD I am always hoping it is seaweed brushing up against my thigh.

5. THROAT CULTURES. I know they aren't so bad; so it's not really the wooden swab that causes my heart to pound and palms to sweat. It's the fear of vomiting all over the person who is going to stick that stick down my throat. Why can't we come up with a way for testing for strep that involves spitting into a cup or something? That's a walkathon I would pledge to.

Charlie Me Boy

I have been fortunate to work with some of the best and the brightest--and CHA-LEY is one of my favorite ex-employees, and one of the few who actually still speak to me.

He recently sent me a link to his new website which I promised to pass along to all 3 of my faithful readers. Enjoy.

www.barmondestudios.com

From The New Yorker

Reprinted with absolutely no permission whatsoever--but a good laugh is a thang to share:
The Wisdom of Children
by Simon Rich March 26, 2007

I. A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table

MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I’m having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won’t tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.
MOM: I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM: There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)
MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!
GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL: Yes.
GRANDFATHER: Don’t tell the kids.

II. A Day at UNICEF Headquarters, as I Imagined It in Third Grade

(UNICEF sits on a throne. He is wearing a cape and holding a sceptre. A servant enters, on his knees.)
UNICEF: Halloween is fast approaching! Have the third graders been given their little orange boxes?
SERVANT: Yes, your majesty!
UNICEF: Perfect. Did you tell them what the money was for?
SERVANT: No, sir, of course not! We just gave them the boxes and told them to collect for UNICEF. We said it was for “a good cause,” but we didn’t get any more specific than that.
UNICEF: Ha ha ha! Those fools! Soon I will have all the money in the world. For I am UNICEF, evil king of Halloween!
SERVANT: Sir . . . don’t you think you’ve stolen enough from the children? Maybe you should let them keep the money this year.
UNICEF: Never! The children shall toil forever to serve my greed!
(He tears open a little orange box full of coins and rubs them all over his fat stomach.)
UNICEF: Yes! Oh, yes!
SERVANT: Wait! Your majesty! Look at this! Our records indicate that there’s a kid out there—Simon—who’s planning to keep his UNICEF money this year.
UNICEF: What?! But what about my evil plans? I was going to give that money to the Russians so they could build a bomb!
SERVANT: (aside) I guess there’s still one hero left in this world.
UNICEF: No!
(He runs out of the castle, sobbing.)
SERVANT: Thank God Simon is keeping his UNICEF money.
SECOND SERVANT: Yes, it’s good that he’s keeping the money.
THIRD SERVANT: I agree. Simon is doing a good thing by keeping the money from the UNICEF box.
SERVANT: Then we’re all in agreement. Simon should keep the money.

And how was YOUR day?

I started my day with a dentist appointment.

The dentist recommends that I have two root canals done as soon as possible and lay off the Sensidine I have been mainlining for weeks. Her advice in terms of surviving the procedure was not to discuss it with anyone. Seriously. She completely recommended a cone of silence be lowered on all discussions of....shhhhhhhhh........ROOT CANAL.

We shall speak no more of it. Apparently you will share something with me that will make the procedure that much more difficult--something along the lines of abject fear and pain.

She also said I needed to rinse my gums in warm salt water for the next couple of days--hence the big plate of crinkle cut fries and hot tea that I have before me.

Later I went to Jesse's Parent Teacher Conference where I was crushed to find my son was performing solidly and consistently at his expected age and grade level. Because we all hold out hope that standard and mundane measures of intelligence will still capture what we know is our child's complete and utter brilliance. Come on: this child adds boogers to his figure drawings--is that not advanced attention to detail? And he has worked out how to spell seven different profanities and enjoys rhyming the word "fart" -- where is the credit?

Then I ran home to sew patches on Jesse's karate Gee (which is the karate outfit and is pronounced with a hard G) which recently accidentally got dyed pink in a washload that had some red items thrown in. Not that having a pink Gee in Chelsea is such a bad thing--you just have to make sure that certain belts don't clash later on. (Thanks Mark) Thinking that sewing the patches on the Gee would be a process that would take 15-20 minutes, imagine my surprise when I found that the hotel sewing kit I had chosen to use was without a prethreaded needle. Which leads me to the next blog post...

UPDATE: Kip sent a single text message from today's karate class. It appears that I have sewn the patches on UPSIDE DOWN.

Sew What?

Lots of people have unusual collections. One of my best friends at Stamford High School, Richard Burns, got a job post college at an exclusive tanning salon in Hollywood, and was on Letterman with his collection of carefully folded paper towels preserved in plastic sandwich bags. He would wipe the sweat off of the tanning bed after a celebrity had used it, preserve it and then label it. His collection was quite impressive and even included Sylvester Stallone's sweat. This is the boy I went to Homecoming with.

My own collection is of hotel sewing kits. I have always had a fascination for these little compact gems--the prethreaded needles, the single white button, and small but utilitarian safety pin. One of the many perks of marrying Kip Veasey was that my Mother in Law, Nonnee, has helped me amass a serious collection of EPIC PROPORTION. I have hotel sewing kits from literally all over the world. I've got hotel sewing kits from China-Greece-you name it. I won't know where it is on a map, but By God, I know what color threads is preferred.

Just an aside here, in case you were wondering: Kip has a secret collection of deli napkins. I find piles of them in the odd times I am alone in his office and go rooting through his desk. Last year while he was away in the Orient, I discarded approximately 426 that he had shoved in various places.

But back to the sewing kits because the reason for this blog is to alert you to an alarming trend. In an effort to cut costs, it appears that more and more, hotel sewing kits are ceasing to contain prethreaded needles with a variety of thread colors. I KNOW! IT BLEW MY MIND TOO! It seems that the powers that be have decided to opt for about six thread options--you got your white, black, brown, blue, green and pink....but only one needle. YOU MUST THREAD YOUR OWN NEEDLE. It's an outrage really--because these are EMERGENCY sewing kits after all--and in my mind it's kind of like requiring that someone crank up their own juice on a defibulator. When you have a sewing emergency in a foreign country, you are counting on that needle being prethreaded.

Must log off and write congressman.

pics from the party

Kip and I. He channeled his inner "King" I went for "Aging Diva"

pics from the party

Here are the lads. Anarchy tshirts designed by Ed.

Pics from the party

I think Sophie looks really great when she tarts it up. Plus-isn't everything from the 80s TOTALLY back in style now anyway?

pics from the party

One of the people in this picture is PTA President. Can you guess which?